CeraSeptem's Xanga

Sometimes...

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 22:30:30 GMT

It's best to let our simpler whims take us over.

It causes a certain sweeping sensation that manages to work out for the best at the end of the day. I've only recently begun truly living in the manner that I promote, and I must say that all things have gone well for me thus far.

If I have a whim, I have an action.

If I have an action, I have a goal.

If I have a goal, I will reach it.

If I reach my goals, I am pleased with myself and the world around me.

Are you?

I've decided on the perfect way to die.

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 03:03:52 GMT

I have decided on the supremely best way to die. This is under optimal conditions, of course, but if I have any say in the matter I will have no complaints in dying in this manner.

First off, I will be cremated. I will be scattered. If you put me in a pot and keep me I WILL haunt you. Scatter me into a lake or river of my choosing (I'll decide that sometime later). Additionally, DO NOT get a headstone or other sort of stupid remembrance to place in either the spot I died or in a random field somewhere. That would piss my ghostly form off even more than being stuck in a pot. If you must have a "remembrance piece", keep it personal. There will be no public reminder of my life/death, because I don't desire it.

I have causes. I have reasons. I have compassion. I feel little to nothing, but I feel a universal sense of compassion for any and all. That said, THOSE things are the best reason to die. If I truly care for something, then I am willing to die for it to thrive. Thus, I am willing to die for all things I feel this compassion for. Better still, I feel this for essentially anything and anyone. That's right. Friend, stranger, spectral entity peering over my shoulder: I care about you. I can't help it. I could even take it so far as to say I Love You.

And so now I come to the cause of death. I'm sure most of you have figured it out at this point. Quite simply, I want to die protecting someone or something. Whether anyone remembers it or not is of no consequence, as the last thought in mine own mind would be one of sheer joy and likely quite a bit of pride as well. It doesn't even need to be anything physical. I am willing to lay it all on the line for something as abstract as an ideal. If I died for an idea, at the least I can guarantee that the particular idea would live on forever.

And that's the point. LIFE. Perhaps not mine, but that is a small sacrifice to pay for the infinite others.

Goodbye.

Fri, 30 Jun 2006 23:28:55 GMT

The End is near. I want you all to know how very much you mean to me.

This may be my final goodbye.

I want it all to be buried with me.

If there is no body, BURN IT ALL.

Everyone Come See

Wed, 28 Jun 2006 00:20:28 GMT

I have edited my profile. Read that you may become wiser.

Sorry to disappoint you.

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 11:02:18 GMT

But you've just lost The Game.

You know what I want to do?

Sun, 18 Jun 2006 01:45:08 GMT

I want to create a total emo post.

I'm going to somehow put myself in the emo mindset, and I am going to have a field day with how dreadful my parents are and how miserable life is because I can't fit in my little sister's pants. There can't be a God, because no God would make me so FAT.

Or something like that. One of these days. Maybe even a suicide note of epic proportions. One of these days.

Stay tuned.

Bandwidth?

Sat, 03 Jun 2006 22:30:04 GMT

Wuzzat?

It Is Time.

Fri, 02 Jun 2006 13:19:48 GMT

Oh God.

Wed, 31 May 2006 01:14:48 GMT

I may have fucked up something fierce.

What have I done?

No. It had to be done. It is better this way. It's always a matter of acceptance. These things happen, and it's better now than later. Then again, this wasn't something I'm willing to gamble on. I'm sure I'm in the right, but the reaction worries me. What happens next, and what can I even do about any of it? Is life such an experiment that I've succumbed to manipulate others. But I'm right about this. It's better this way. This isn't guilt I fell. It's concern. I don't know what guilt feels like, and I doubt I ever will. There's no reason to feel guilty. Just a bit of concern. I'm not wrong about this. I'm right. We know it. We knew it. Last night. I still know it.

Goddamn. I had better be right about this.

I went to the RenFest.

Tue, 30 May 2006 11:23:52 GMT

It was hot. We spent the first hour or so just roaming around, looking for something to do. We didn't really succeed, but got distracted enough for the time to pass.

Then we found those sticks. You know, those little sticks that you try to balance that baton with. I played with them for quite a while, and she did as well. It was splendid, but tiring.

I'm not sure what happened next, but I think I got distracted looking at swords. Goddamn I love me some handmade weapons. They were, of course, crazy expensive. But one of these days I'm going to go get some $500 Carbon Steel WMDs.

Then I played with the little balls that are fun. They're easy to pick up and easy to excel at. Well, easier than most things. That's the joy of toys. I might look into becoming a bit better one of these days.

Then we watched the Toy Duel. Sticks versus Spheres. Spheres won, but Sticks are still awesome. Setting a ball on fire and rolling it around your body is pretty wicked sweet. The moral of the story was that it should be a Duel Toy and not a Toy Duel.

Then I found another weapon shop. I cleaned house, to say the least. You should see what I got, and I made a killing on the price. If I had a camera I would share, because it's just that damn awesome.

Then she went and bought herself some Sticks to play with. She plans on getting a Sphere next time. I plan on buying lots of pointy things. And maybe a nice outfit or two. A hat, at the least.

Then we sat down and chilled for a bit. It was hot and we were tired.

On a side note, did you know Miller works at the RenFest? Yeah. THAT Miller. Go see him.

When we left, we fed the horses. And goofed for a while.

And went to Taco Bell.

And then spent two hours in front of my house. She probably should have left sooner, but that's the way things go.