missing my xanga

I havent been on here in a year man!   or it feels like it....anyways whud UP!

Currently Listening Things Falling Apart By Nine Inch Nails see related

in the end.   at the end.  no more beginnings....new beginnings are 4 the the heart taken and now hopless...we have nothing to give and everything to gain.....so you can try.....but dont expect ...expect me to fly with help of your new found wings....i tried to learn how to ride a bike, and i fell, its not my fault if u try and pick me up and fall with me. 

Thanks for the patient people that help paint my wrists.

you know me im far from perfect......and if ur confused...thats how it should be.

Currently Listening Straylight Run By Straylight Run see related

The terror you couldn't bear
with drama everywhere
Sad tears roll down your face
you lost your look of grace
you grasp me in your hand
only because no one would understand
you lay me gently on your wrist
only because you were so pissed
you close you eyes
and with a big surprise
there is pain
and blood dripping down the drain
now you put me away
until another hard day

Sometimes I touch wood just to know I'm here
And clutch it in my hands, let it buzz behind my ears
A spastic overwhelmed by his existential fear
Tear it into splinters and dab at stubborn tears

I'm a drug virgin but my mouth is stuffed with pills
To savour earthy smog, and swallow up my fill
Who would have thought exploding senses kill
The walls are writhing colours yet remain completely still

I crave

A splash of eyes-delight, fresh from its wrap
It's drunken lope the essence of awe
As you loft in a glassy breeze
Flow
Kiss a rose's finger tip
And dance to the beat of your wings
Conceit is wisely oblivious of your shine
As we adore your accidental grace

Blessed with a selflessness
Envied for your freedom
To spin and rise like
A dry leaf in this stale air
And your trust it all we require
As we raise your crystal tomb
And issue you this life's sentence
For being what we never could
The perfect prize for mummy

A butterfly in a child's jar
Granted the dead plant you clasp
In loving adoration
Wisely oblivious
The sacrifice to a bustling adult
Lacking their attention span
In favour ofavorer things that live on
Crisp bleached blade-edged paper
A child glorious in his pride
And now content with his praise
Watches you be placed on a stark sill
In your invisible cell
To kiss the walls
In your attempts to reach the great blue
While the globe presses its warmth on you
As you are left to dance yourself to death.

Why must I be tortured w/ love

it feels so good

but what if it ends

what if the clouds come in

what if i get rained on

will you wash away?

it has happened before

but your smile is sunshine over my fears

your kiss is like candy

so sweet to taste

will you protect me

from my demoned past

will you always hold me when i cry

so strong... i feel safe in your arms

i belong in your arms

will you tell me your not a monster

not a monster like him

help me sleep at night

from now on...

i will dream of us

and our future

i love you today and forever

sweet dreams baby

sweet dreams....

i miss u kasey!