Wow... it's been a while, huh? Well, let me get you updated real quick.

School. Work. Grant. School. Work. Work. School. Work. Work. School. Grant. Skip School. Work. TODAY!

So, the biggest dilemma I have been facing (still) is what I will do with myself, my life, my future. After a horrifically realistic meeting with my advisor (who I'd just met that day), I came to the conclusion once and for all that now is not the time for PA school. In the future-maybe. But not now. Well, that takes away some pressure, but now what? Nursing? And if so, LPN, RN, joint BSN/MSN? Atlanta, Greenville, or Charleston? Or maybe Pharmacy. If I did that, I'd probably just keep working for Walgreens for a while until I was ready to go back to school. I mean, I'd be making good money, gaining great experience, and getting to know pharmacists who could write me recommendations. I have so many different people advising me to go about everything so many different ways... I just don't know what to do!

I think bigger than my fear of not knowing what to do right now is my fear that I'll never be successful, never be able to take care of myself finacially, never make myself and my parents proud. (What an insecure loser!) I just really question myself these days. But a lot of times, I don't even know why! I've done stuff, I think. I know stuff, I think. I'm capable, I think....

But despite all the insecurity, there are some things I know. I know, for example, that Ashley, Grant, and Daniel love me know matter what, and they will listen to me whine at any time of day for any length of time. I know that I am heavily impacted by the people around me and that good energy can do wonders for a broken spirit. I also happen to know that fate is real, and so is God, and everything happens for a reason:

"You are mature enough to be 29...  Wisdom and experience get you a long way in life-I am saying you have it... I saw how you dealt with problems that you were faced with, and looking back at that now, you have an amazing strength... I have realized that you are stronger than anyone else I have met when facing obsticals... You are going to be awesome in life, Stephanie."

Let's hope.

Oh wow-Wednesday was officially the longest day of my life. It started at 5:15 am...took me to Athens...dragged me through a slap-in-the-face reality check...drenched me in some tears of frustration...overwhelmed me with my first day in the actual pharmacy...and landed me in bed around 10:30 pm. All I can say is- I survived. But then, can you really ask for much else?

(More on the reality check later-wounds still too fresh.)

Today was much better. Got to sleep in a little and didn't have to be at work till noon. Once I got there, things went surprisingly well. It's already starting to come together, slowly but surely. Just one concern: Is it wierd that I ENJOY working the drive-thru? That seems to be the consensus in the pharmacy. But the way I see it is, if everyone hates it so much, they should be glad I'm willing to do it so they don't have to. Eh, no worries-they'll come to appreciate the fabulousness that is Stephanie sooner or later.

Time for bed, so I can get up in 7 hours and do it all over again... and so it goes.

Grant will be here in less than 24 hours... :)

My first day at Walgreens left much to be desired. I can only hope that the management/employees of this store/pharmacy are not as inept as they first appear! I am fond of neither the icey training room nor Zelda, whose voice I will hear in my sleep: "To continue, click next..." I have, however, mastered the Pharmacy Basics, and now I'm on to Building Pharmacy Knowledge. 6 hours down, approximately 15 more to go. For a minute moment in time, I thought I really might not like this job. But then I reminded myself that this is only training, and it always sucks when you're learning the ropes. And besides, my family and I get a 15% discount at all Walgreens stores! Now really-what wouldn't be worth THAT?

Better start the coffee now- tomorrow's gonna be a loooooooong one...

What a weekend! (And I mean that in the best possible way!)

After a sufficiently mundane Friday of classes and an over-achiever-ish extra hour of stats. homework, I made the all-to-familiar journey to Greenville, which I'm positive would have been in record time if not for all those horrible accidents on 85. Seems like Friday was the day to ram your car into something as hard as you possibly could. Thank God I missed THAT memo...

After a little quality time with Grant, I hoochied myself up and headed over to Jenny and Shannon's apt., which had been converted into a birthday wonderland for the guest of honor-your truly! The streamers streamed, the candles on the cookie cake glowed, and the Andre flowed like water! It was truly a Doyle/Nielsen birthday celebration to behold!

Unfortunately, due to Jenny's inaccuracy, we ended up at the Bi-Lo Center about an hour late for the concert, COMPLETELY MISSING KANYE WEST! (Can you even believe it!?) Ursher came on about 15 minutes after we got there, and the rest is a bit of a blur... I do know, however, that I thought it would be a good idea to call my 14-yr-old sister at home because she "remind[ed] me of a girl- that I- once knew." Oops. Still, it was way entertaining, and totally out of my normal realm of activity, which is always fun.

Downtown afterwards was almost even MORE fun, if that's at all possible. The old crowd was at G-Spot, and there's nothing like feeling at home. I spent most of the night with Grant and CK, even running into a few old co-workers. If anyone's nostaligic, it's me-and I would've given anything to make the night last. Tiki Bob's apparently wasn't down with my "party all night" plan, so we left around last call, heading straight into a late-night J in the B run. Mmmmmm, sourdough grilled chicken Jack...

The plans to move grant out of his apt. the next day fell through when there wasn't a U-haul to be found in all of the Upstate. Needless to say, I was jumping for joy on the inside. (But the outside of me was trying to move as little as possible.) Plans botched, we made the long trip up through Walhalla into Mountain Rest up to the little log cabin (Chateau Grantham?) his parents call home. A shower later, we settled in for some dinner, a visit with the Nicholson's, and a crappy movie. (Just say no to The Big Bounce!) And, an early night. It's so sad, but I just can't party like I used to. (The recovery time has approximately quadrupled!)

Sunday started with a good ol' artery-cloggin' country breakfast. (Can you believe I like GRITS now?!) In the afternoon, we took our make-shift picnic out to the Lake Jocasee lookout, played tour giude, and had a mini battle of the sexes. (ps-Girls ALWAYS win!) Apparently I had "I'm a redneck who wants to barf" written on my forehead because Grant decided it would be fun to go 4-wheeling/off-roading/whatever-other-hypenated-name-you-want-to-call-it through the woods and mountains. I definitely had moments of panic mingled with sickness as we sped and crept up and over mounds of dirt and around gravel curves that precariously overlooked steep cliffs that disappeared into the beautiful blue-green waters of Lake Jocasee. (Ooh! How poetic!) But after 2 1/2 hours of wild and extreme Nature-n-Grant time, I had to admit that I had had fun. (Check that one off the list of things to do before I die!)

(NOT on the list of things to do before I die: eat bear meat. But now I can add it-AND cross it off... I do not recommend trying this at home.)

So, another weekend (and Monday!) is gone. Time to start preparing for my first day of work tomorrow. Wish me luck!

OH MY GOD!

I LOVE my new haircut!! It rocks!