CheapSexandCrackCocaine's Xanga

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Thu, 22 Feb 2007 15:02:45 GMT

So..i relapsed..hopefully my outpatient rehab doesnt drug test me tonight...just to be sure im guzzling water all day. i don t know how this happened..i cant be doing this i have court and ill get sent to a psych ward if i fail a drugtest. im totally gonna be fucked if i keep this up but thats the thing i cant stop even though i want to (well, sort of, for now anyway). but god did it feel good to have cocaine in my system again, its such a beautiful drug. kills hunger and speeds the metabolism too, a wonder drug for starvation. i cant live with it or without it.
sigh

intake
b-nutrigrain bar-140
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Sunday, February 18, 2007

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 13:15:28 GMT

starting a fast today, god it feels so great to be back. when i eat i just feel so disguisting, bloated and fat and gross, when im empty and light my self esteems better, i feel better, i have a reason to be alive, i feel perfect again. god i miss drugs though. it made it so easy and fast to lose weight. plus it just made life okay, made me want to live, kinda like starvation only x20. i dont know if i can do this sober thing...but of course i dont want to go to prison, i have a court date to worry about. i hate being sober though. what can you do. at least i have ana, she'll take care of me through it all.
intake:
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total- (to be announced, better be 0)
stay strong girls

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Sat, 17 Feb 2007 17:16:13 GMT

Im baaaccckkk....been a long long time since my last post i have:
dropped out of school
gone to jail for possession of cocaine
gone to rehab AGAIN
gone to halfway house and been kicked out for doing pills
its been an eventful year in which time i have managed to
lose a lot of weight and then gain too much weight back. my current weight is 115. ew. my gaol weight is 90 pounds. god cocaine had me so thin and perfect and then i just HAD to go to rehab. so here i am, ready to start over. ready to stay strong and get thin. so hello everyone, i missed you all!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Wed, 17 May 2006 08:14:47 GMT

oops accidently stayed up all night.
it happens when your manic.
stay strong ladies <3
todays plan:
0- fasting

outcome updated later if failed

and my favorite thinspo:

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Tue, 16 May 2006 15:22:33 GMT

nieman marcus shopping spree yesterday yessssssss. time to take inventory. i got:
marc jacobs top
missoni top
dolce and gabbanna top
dolce and gabbanna skirt
roberto cavalli skirt
seven jeans x3
prada snakeskin and satin pumps
dolce and gabanna chunky sandals
christian louboutin patent leather peep toe pumps
manolo blanik gold heels
emilio pucci blue sandals
pucci calfskin hat
hermes scarf
pucci handbag
prada handbag
2 new juicy couture charms for bracelet
versace pink slik dress
chanel makeup (lipgloss, eye shadow, blush)

i looovvvveeeee shopping especially when my parents have infintasmic money. plus i get thinner and look better in my clothes every day. remember food has no power over you. stay strong girls <3

Monday, May 15, 2006

Mon, 15 May 2006 20:36:52 GMT

the vicodins gone but i still have the stolen xanax. in other words life is pretty good right now. oh yeah and 92 lbs YYYYYYEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS. the fast continues, i feel myself get closer every day.

to the girl who goes to regents by the way, i am sooooo sorry that must be awful. at least for me it was since i was tortured for well everything there.

remember you hold all the power. food is nothing. an inanimate object. it cannot force its way into your mouth so always remember you have a choice. look at your thighs and just consider what choice you want to make. i believe in you girls. always stay strong. <3

intake:
0 bitch

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Sun, 14 May 2006 04:22:41 GMT

so since photobucket is a doushebag. you can just see my pictures on my myspace although there arent as many good ones as i had there. myspace there you go.

i was out the entire day today which meant no parentals which meant fast day one is complete. and as long as i continue t dodge them and find friends to hang with ill have a week long fast in no time. theyre gone most of the day anyway so it really doesn't make much difference.

Oh yeah, and i scored a bottle of xanax from this girls appartment,totally full, with refills left on it even. im in heaaavvveeeennnn todayl she doesnt know its gone i was supposed to be hanging out with my "sober" AA friend but her friend wasnt totally sober and she mentioned painkillers and i zoned in on that like none other. now theyre mine, stole them right off the bathroom counter. luckily her house is a fucking trainwreck i doubt shell ever even notice. hopefully they wont card me or shit on the refill that would suck balls.

anyway, love you girls. staystrong always. just repeat to yourself i dont want food as much as possible until you actually believe it.
<<33

calorie intake=0
drug intake=a lot of vicodin. better than meth though right....right?

Friday, May 12, 2006

Fri, 12 May 2006 18:28:01 GMT

pictures i took today

http://s81.photobucket.com/albums/j208/cheapsexandcrackcocaine/

Friday, May 12, 2006

Fri, 12 May 2006 16:48:59 GMT

im back bitches!

i just got home from new york like a couple of weeks ago but then my computer was broken so my dad bought me a new one, an apple, its fucking badass i just set it up like a minute ago,

the weight loss is still going good, although now im just trying to get down to a 00 then maintain, a 0 actually now feels very fat to me. need to be 85 lbs.
im back for good though, so look forward to more and better updates than this shitty little one. love you girls, missed you all.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 11:01:20 GMT

so im totally addicted to the gossip girls book series. i cant help it they just really are very very very addicting.

and i still want to be nichole richie. every time i see her in a magazine im like wow i want to be thin like that she's so fucking perfect. i think fuck this staying at 95 shit-i want to be 85. thats my new goal. 85. im just not quite thin enough. i dont want to be size 0 i want to be size 00.

anyways i have class, <3 you ladies stay strong

intake:

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