December 10, 2004

December 09, 2004

The Natives Are Restless

Have you seen this yet?  It's a Nativity scene over at Madame Tussauds wax museum in London.  If you look close, you can see who's playing who.

• Mary = Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham
• Joseph - David "Bend It Like" Beckham
• Angel = Kylie Minogue
• Shepherd 1 = Samuel L. Jackson
• Shepherd 2 = Hugh Grant
• Shepherd 3 =  talk show host Graham Norton
• Wiseman = George W. Bush
• Wiseman = Tony Blair
• Wiseman = Prince Philip

No word yet on who Jesus is, but my money is on Frankie Munez.

Offensive? The Vatican seems to think so, as do some Christian leaders.

What do I think? Well, I'm still trying to get over the fact that they chose George W. to be one of the 3 Wisemen.  Was the Pauley Shore mannequin not available? Was it too busy partying with the Stephen Baldwin mannequin in the Bio-dome exhibit? I guess so.

December 08, 2004

Mash Me Up

Jay-Z and Linkin Park have the Number 1 album in America??? When did this happen?

Who knew that all you had to do was mix a great rapper with a decent rock group and have them record together in order to create a number 1 album? 

If that's the case, please allow me to give some recommendations.  Pay attention, because one of these Mash Ups is sure to go to Number 1, mark my words.

• Ludacris & Hoobastank
• Dr. Dre & Maroon 5
• 50 Cent & Yellowcard
• Kriss Kross & Good Charlotte
• Biz Markie & Slipknot
• Eminem & Hootie & The Blowfish
• Vanilla Ice & Limp Bizkit
• MC Hammer & The Killers
• Tupac & Franz Ferdinand
• Pharrell & N.E.R.D.
• Snoop Dogg & Green Day
• Lil' Jon & Pearl Jam

December 07, 2004

Julia Roberts Is Expensive

The Hollywood Reporter's annual list of the highest paid actresses came out today, and Julia Roberts was on top again at $20 million per film.

Cameron Diaz was next on the list, also commanding $20 million, followed by Nicole Kidman, Reese Witherspoon, and Drew Barrymore ($15 million each).

Since it looks like money isn't exactly tight for these leading ladies, I figure it's time they start giving something back to community. More specifically, me.

Julia Roberts: My sister used to watch Pretty Woman constantly when we were kids. We're talking like 2-3 times a day. I feel that $250,000 is an acceptable amount to help compensate me for my pain and suffering.

Cameron Diaz: Vanilla Sky. I'd appreciate $40,000 for my time, or you can just explain to me what the heck happened during that movie. Either or.

Nicole Kidman: Do you remember The Peacemaker. I do. $75,000 would help me forget.

Reese Witherspoon: $50 for Sweet Home Alabama. I didn't actually see the movie, but the commercials were pretty bad. Beyond that, I don't think Reese has made a bad movie. Keep up the good work, Reese.

Drew Barrymore: I was going to ask for some reparations for Boys On The Side, however I seem to recall you lifted your shirt up and flashed in that movie.  You're free to go. Wait a second, I just remembered Driving In Cars With Boys. $1.3 mill will do.

December 06, 2004

It's not easy being cheesy

What's the cheesiest moment in cinema? 2,000 people in the United Kingdom were surveyed, and here's what they came up with.

1. "Titanic": Leonardo DiCaprio's "I'm the king of the world!"

2. "Dirty Dancing": Patrick Swayze's "Nobody puts Baby in the corner."

3. "Four Weddings And A Funeral": Andie McDowell's "Is it still raining? I hadn't noticed."

3. "Ghost": Demi Moore's "Ditto." to Patrick Swayze's "I love you."

5. "Top Gun": Val Kilmer to Tom Cruise: "You can be my wingman anytime"

6. "Notting Hill": Julia Roberts' "I'm just a girl... standing in front of a boy... asking him to love her."

7. "Independence Day": Bill Pullman's "Today we celebrate our Independence Day!"

8. "Braveheart": Mel Gibson's "They may take our lives, but they will not take our freedom!"

9. "Jerry Maguire": Renee Zellweger to Tom Cruise: "You had me at hello."

10. "The Postman": A blind woman says to Kevin Costner: "You're a godsend, a savior." He replies: "No, I'm a postman."

First of all, I can't believe 2,000 people saw The Postman!!! Secondly, it'd be nice if they did this survey over here in the United States, because they definitely missed a couple.

Where's the slow motion walk down the stairs in She's All That?? What about Julia Roberts in Ocean's 11 saying to Andy Garcia, "You of all people should know Terry, in your hotel, there's always someone watching."?? What about Serendipity... the whole thing??

December 03, 2004

Sorry Mr. Jackson, ooohh

Police have raided Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch in hopes to find evidence against him for his child molestation case.

But unfortunately, all they were able to find was a ferris wheel,  a monkey, the remains of the elephant man,surgical masks, diamond studded gloves, a train, a giant trampoline, a decompression chamber, a carousel, a petting zoo, bumper cars, a teepee village, some tigers, elephants, giraffes, orangutans, a bear, a crocodile, and the entire Beatles catalog.

December 01, 2004

Everyone's A Sitcom Star

With the release of the Seinfeld DVDs last week, one can't help but be reminded how funny sitcoms once were, and how the conventional sitcom has been dying a slow and painful death of late.

Luckily, there's help on the way.  And it looks a little something like...

That's right, Pamela Anderson is set to star in a sitcom about -- hold onto your hats -- a woman who has a weakness for wild men. Lord knows how she'll prepare for that role.

So sit tight, America. Our days of According To Jim and The George Lopez Show are almost over.  Pam is coming to save us all.

• Jessica Simpson on the Dukes of Hazzard Set
  
• Paris Hilton & Colin Farrell hook-up
  
• Lord of the Rings Video Game
  
• Upgrade/Downgrade: Holiday Specials: American Idol Christmas Special ... Nick & Jessica Variety Hour ... Rockafeller Center Christmas Tree Lighting
  
• William Hung Holiday Greeting
  
• In Case You Missed It: Survivor ... Godzilla's Star ... Tim McGraw and Nelly?