CONCERT TICKETS 4 SALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyone who lives in the atlanta area: i have 2 tickets 2 see the foo fighters & weezer on thurs sept 8 at 7:30pm. the show is in duluth at the arena at gwinnett center. if you are interested please comment!!!!!!!!!!

wow....so last night was VERY interesting! hehe, 2 say the very least....

i went 2 a bachelorette party 4 lin-z's sisters best friend. it was crazy! me & lin-z & val were so out of our element. we were the only ones there under age & 95% of the people there were all "no! you cant drink!" but there were a few cool ones that let us have a couple jello shots so its all good. it kinda sucked cuz pretty much all of the girls there were SOOOOOO stupid! we were talking about killing people w/ battery acid & this one chick goes "o! speaking of batteries....blah blah blah...." & she apparently also loves red pop rocks....MWAHAHAHA!

so the party kind of sucked....UNTIL....the stripper got there!!!!!!!!!!!!!

& we were all hoping hed be really hot & everything but NOOOO! he was at least 42! ICKY!!!!!!!! hehe. i mean, he was kinda built, but not cute at all & way 2 old 4 my taste. it especially didnt help when he gave everyone a lap dance!

i definitely got it the worst! i dont think he realized im only 16. everyone he gave a lap dance 2 got beads, so the 1st thing he did was put the beads down my fucking shirt! & as he was doing this he was staring at my tits & saying "o0o very nice!" i was so creeped out! then he proceeded 2 pull the beads out of my shirt w/ his TEETH! the whole time he was doing this he was moaning! it was so freakin nasty!!!!! then, the most revolting thing ever happened!..........

he had his package all up in my face & then the nasty fucker decides 2 take his dick out of his thong!!!!!!!!!!! i just turned my head away & screamed "EWWWW!!!!!!!" the whole time. i am sooooo TRAUMATIZED!!!!!!

it was so funny though. extremely gross, but funny. the funniest part was when lin-z got her lap dance. the stripper (we called him Rocky cuz he looked kinda like sylvester stalone, haha) was going towards lin-z's sister & lin-z goes "stay away from my sister!" so rocky said "who said that? o well, youre 1st then!" it was so funny. she was sitting on the ground so he had his package all up in her face & she was freaking out! she goes "hi, im lin-z by the way" & then he said the nastiest thing ever!!!! he goes "hi lin-z, this is penis!"

EWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it was so fucking great, hahahaha! then when he went over 2 val she told him he was disgusting so he didnt do much 2 her. we left after that. chelsea was supposed 2 come spend the night w/ us but she ended up not being able 2. it sucked....we missed you chelsea!!!!!

so we ended up laying in bed scaring each other & cuddling & talking, hehe. it was great. i cant wait till we can all 4 do something. i love yall so much!

lin-z: thanx 4 cuddling w/ my legs while you slept, how sweet! lol!

val: dont ever crawl on top of me again! it wasnt that scary! hehe

chelsea: we missed you! but hey, at least you got 2 talk 2 the nasty old stripper on the phone lol

ok well im out! leave me some lovin!

-Ash-

Currently Listening Hot Fuss By The Killers see related

well, things are slowly getting better. infact, *VERY* slowly, but its better than nothing, right?

one act is coming along very well. lin-z got the most awesomest kick ass solo ever! "waiting" is going 2 be the *cutest* song in the whole show! hehe. the song is about this little girl waiting 4 her mom 2 pick her up 4 school & shes all by herself cuz her mom is late. it is *super* cute!

im starting 2 move on when it comes 2 josh. its very tough, but im trying. i mean, im still not over him, but im much further from where i was just last week. im starting 2 come 2 grips w/ the life i have now. its not 2 bad. im getting closer 2 lin-z & val so that makes me mucho happy!

my dad came down this weekend. he lives in ohio. my mom called him wednesday cuz she was worried about me so he decided 2 come down & see me. we dont exactly have a very good relationship. then again, its hard 2 when he lives 600 miles away & is HORRIBLE at communicating. but him coming down here really showed that he cares, so it made me happy. he also came 2 my therapy session 2day which surprised me. hopefully, we'll start 2 form a true relationship. we maybe talk once every 1-2 weeks on the phone 4 like 5 mins max. so yea, i think we need 2 improve our communication.

ive just been so lonely lately though. theres a guy who sits at my lunch table who likes me, but he is *SOOOOOO* not my type. i dunno though, i think im gonna try 2 get 2 know him better b4 i make up my mind. plus, im not sure if im ready 2 date yet. i think itd be good 4 me 2 just stay single 4 a while. i dunno, im just trying my best 2 adapt 2 my situation & trying 2 have fun.

anyways, ive got loads of homework 2night so im gonna go.

sorry this was such a pointless entry, ill try 2 put more meaning into my next one.

Ash

so....life still sux.

i quit my job. i just couldnt handle school & work & one act. o yea, there is is *some* good news. i made one act. its a play at my school & we go 2 regional competition & its super cool. this year is going 2 kick ass! (im soooo excited lin-z! hehehehe) things are just *super* stressful right now.

josh decided that we can no longer be friends. *stupid fucking asshole!!!*

so im really upset about that. but i dont feel like going into it. i need *SOMETHING*....im just not sure what that something is. i feel so lost, so empty. its as if my entire world has been flipped upside down. i dunno....im working on it. i dont *want* 2 still love him, i wanna be over him. omg, do i wanna be over him!!!!!!! unfortunately, my heart is still holding on. & dammit im so frustrated! why cant i just let the fuck go????????? please leave me comments, they make me smile. & i really need as many smiles as i can get right now.

-Ash-

i cant stop crying.

im just sitting here w/ silent tears streaming down my face. this isnt what i want. i *want* 2 be happy, but i just cant be. i dont know why. i try, but its all fake. i think im happy & then out of no where *BAM*!!!!! hes in my head & my happiness is ruined. i try not 2 think of him but i cant help it. how the hell can i control my thoughts??????? does anyone know?????? i just wish i could *4get* thats all i want 2 do. i want 2 go 2 sleep & wake up w/ the memory of the past 3 yrs erased.

how could i have done something so fucking stupid? why did i give myself 2 him? i want my fucking life back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! somebody, anybody, please save me from myself. i dont want 2 end up where i used 2 be.

-Ash-