So long, Xanga. It's been real.

Since September of 2004 I have had a Xanga and before that I had a Livejournal.  And today I make my final post.

I feel the Lord calling me to have an audience of One, at least for the time being.  I don't know where He's going to take my writing but for whatever reason I know in my heart that it's time to move on from Xanga. 

I will still read, however.  So if I subscribe to you then I will still drop by from time to time.  I hope that my posts can speak to you long after today.  I hope that blogs like this one and that one and maybe this one can brighten someone's day.

And without further ado...

Sometimes you just need a good cry.

There are several types of tears.  You have woe-is-me tears, in which you bathe in self-pity and guilt and no one else could possibly understand or care because obviously they’ve never gone through anything like this.  Once upon a time I knew these tears very well.

Then there are the tears that flow from a genuine hurt that someone else has inflicted upon you.  Or they could just be from crappy circumstances. 

Tears of joy and happiness and laughter.

Anxious tears.  Usually anxious fears coming through as tears.

Holy tears.  Being overwhelmed by God’s glory and majesty while in His presence.  Usually consisting of a dramatic increase in the awareness of just how sinful you really are coupled with an extraordinary appreciation and reverence and awe for His holiness.

There may be others but the last type I will bring to you is shoulder tears.  Crying on Jesus’ shoulder.  There are many examples of these and often they are a mixture of different types:

            --Like when you realize that your college career will end in the fall of this year, and you look back on all the wonderful times that the Lord has given you since high school, and you are struck with such gratitude that cannot be described in words, and you shudder at the thought of the kind of person you would be if the Lord had not gotten a hold of you, and you begin to miss the friends that will be out of your life because of their graduation or yours or both, and you miss the relationships that didn't blossom but should have, and you wish you could have gone deeper and been a better friend.

            --Or when your past tries to come back and haunt you, and you bring this to the Father and He wipes your tears away and ministers to your aching heart, and He tells you great and marvelous things that dare you to be filled with hope.

            --Or when the lies of the devil are being uprooted from your life, and the flooding peace and joy are settling in.  And you know your future has great things in store for you and you can't help but give a cry of a thankful heart to the Lord your God.

I am a human.  I am also a man.  It is only natural to have emotions as a human.  Screw the male stereotypes.  I don’t know anything about cars, fixing or building things with my hands, lifting weights, or doing math.  But I endeavor be a man who is not afraid to love and get hurt in the process.  I am not afraid to cry.

There is no safer place to cry than on Jesus’ shoulder.  It's safe because it is exactly where He wants us to be.

And that is what I want.  His will.  Not mine.  His words.  Not mine.  His timing.  Not mine.  Wherever He is, that is where I long to be.

It's the only choice.

Currently Reading God.com: Extreme Intimacy with an Interactive God By James Alexander Langteaux see related

Lord, send true revival

"Revival, Saturday night, come hear Brother Fred speak at 7:00 pm"

We've all seen the church signs.  The signs that somehow, miraculously, predict revival that is coming to the church at a specific date and time.  There's just one problem here;

You cannot create a service and predict/call it true revival.

Without the Holy Spirit, there is no revival.  You can pray, you can ask, but the bottom line is that God is going to move when His people are seeking Him first and not a blessing on what their own hands have created.  I've seen churches bring in good speakers, good 'ol time religion, gospel music, and whatever else--- thinking that those things will bring revival.  But what about the Spirit?  Is HE invited?

Where is the Holy Spirit in American Christianity today?  Why have we kicked Him out of the driver's seat and gone horribly off-road?  Why have we exchanged beauty for ashes, and not ashes for beauty? 

New Testament Christians did not experience revival through fancy shmancy music or marketing programs, 'high-quality' speakers, nifty Powerpoint slides, 'relevant' watered-down messages that barely represent the God that I know, or three-million dollar church buildings.  Revival comes with the Holy Spirit.

Without the Spirit you have the American church being what it is today; naked, blind, proud, and oblivious.  I wonder what kind of letters the Apostle Paul would write to America if he lived today.

Without self-professed Christians allowing the Holy Spirit to be active and intimate in their lives, you have a great deal of pew-sitters and ignorant church-going people who largely don't know what it means to be a disciple of Jesus--- to pick up their cross and follow Him; to resist the devil and not play cards with him every Saturday night only to 'repent' of the same thing over and over again come Sunday morning.

And without the Holy Spirit's active presence you have the world looking at self-professed believers in America and see little difference in the way they live as compared to non-Christians.  So why would the world want to change?  Change to WHAT?  How many good examples of CHRIST-like followers of Jesus are they seeing?

--Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter.-- Matthew 7:21 

--Which Jesus do you follow?
Which Jesus do you serve?
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ,
Then why do you look so much like the world?-- from 'My Jesus' by Todd Agnew.

I invite you to watch The Revival Hymn, a compilation of POWERFUL preaching and calls to revival-- and some amazing stories. 

Like the revival that attracted hundreds of people who didn't even know why they came; just that they felt pulled on that particular night.  When was the last time you heard of this happening?

Like the two young men who sold themselves into a lifetime of slavery to reach an unreached group of slaves.

How's this for preaching like you don't hear in American churches today:

"If I was to ask you tonight if you were saved...  Do you say 'Yes, I am saved'.

--When? 

'Oh, so and so preached, I got baptized and--'

--Are you saved?  What are you saved from?  Hell?  Are you saved from bitterness?  Are you saved from lust?  Are you saved from cheating?  Are you saved from lying?  Are you saved from bad manners?  Are you saved from rebellion against your parents?  Come on, what are you SAVED from?"

America doesn't just need revival.  America needs a complete spiritual reformation.  What will it take for God to finally get our attention?  9/11 didn't do it.  Hurricane Katrina only got us to point fingers.

So what's next?  Invasion?  World War 3 in which the United States is conquered and driven to its knees?

A nationwide revival?  America's defeat?  Both?

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2609149243719622443&q=revival+hymn

You can watch one less sitcom tonight.  You can sacrifice some video game time.  Is it worth it, to see some solid preachers such as A.W. Tozer, Ian Paisley, Leonard Ravenhill, Paris Reidhead, and others tell it like it is?

Currently Watching Why We Fight By John McCain, Susan Eisenhower, Richard Perle, Gore Vidal, Charles Lewis (VI) see related

Timing is of the essence

to

In other news, I like Sunday afternoon naps.  Especially the 2 hour kind.

Maybe you can relate to what I am about to tell you.  If not then I hope you'll get something out of it anyway.

Satan attempts to remove us from situations in which we are potentially fruitful.  Case in point:  on Friday night I was on Wright State's campus for a Chi Alpha party in the midst of other parties during the infamous May Daze party scene.  May Daze= a college holiday in which students engage in a drunken stupor for most of the day and throughout the night.

Cornhole, Guitar Hero,pizza, hot dogs, Death Hack (hacky sack but with a soccerball and a twist), and good times were had.  It came to be around 11:45 and I suddenly felt a strong urge to go home.  All of a sudden I felt insecure and wanted to go to a 'secure' place.  No good reason why; that's just what I began to feel.

A couple of my friends decided to bring some pizzas to a party right down the street at the apartment of a girl we knew.  So I went with them.  There was at least one bong, plenty of beer, and a closed door separating the rest of the apartment from a bedroom in which other drugs were probably being consumed.

Long story short, I met this guy-- we'll call him 'Blaine'-- who had grown up in the church but never had a personal relationship with Jesus.  He said he was turned off by the blatant hypocrisy of his racist grandparents who went to church on Sunday and played the racist for the rest of the week.  I showed him a glimpse of the REAL Jesus, the Jesus who loved all people regardless of race and sexual orientation and political affiliation.

He was slightly drunk but coherent enough to understand and give thoughtful replies.  He took everything in and I believe he was touched by truth that night.  I'm going to continue praying for him and I would appreciate it if you do the same.

Later on I talked to a couple guys-- 'Joe' and 'Kevin'.  They were brought up Catholic, went to Catholic high school, had RELIGION without relationship crammed down their throats for years and had completely rejected all of it.  They also had issues with hypocrites in the church.

Another long conversation and incredible dialogue took place, and I said among other things that every person is going to stand trial on Judgment Day and is responsible for accepting Christ and living it out.  I also mentioned how going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage make you a car.

I was blessed with an opportunity to share with all 3 of these guys the true, historical, Biblical Jesus that has been watered down thanks to religion twisting and ignoring His precious words.  Their hearts were ripe and ready for a presentation like the ones I felt led to give.

I'm so glad that I didn't go home until 2:00 am!  It was such a great night and I wouldn't trade it for anything.  Walking to my car I saw a drunk guy passed out with his friend standing over him telling him to get up.  What kind of lifestyle is that?  Why would anyone enjoy having a gap in their memory for hours at a time, not knowing who they slept with or what else they did?

Anyway, the moral of the story as I'm quite sure you have guessed by now is this:  if you feel a sudden and out of place motivation to remove yourself from a good situation in which you can minister to others... check it.  Pray about it.  And if it really is God, follow His voice.

But if you follow the wrong voice then you are missing out on the incredible blessing of being His witness to a dying world.

Take care.

Being vs. Doing

Psalm 46:10 says that we are to be still and know that He is God.  But what does it mean to know that He is God?  Love.  God is love.  This is a simple truth yet easily overlooked by many people including myself.

Just....be.  And accept.

During the past several months the Lord has continued to teach me what it means to accept His love for what it is and that I don't have to do anything to earn it.  Cliche as it may sound and has sounded for as long as I can remember; I'm FINALLY starting to get it!

I used to pray all the time 'God, please use me.  Use me use me us me use me.'  But I was doing this because I felt inadequate unless I was doing something for Him.  I was believing the lie that if I'm not doing X number of things in His name then He does not love me as much.

I lived in Cleveland until 1995 when I was 11 and that was the year my family moved to Cincinnati.  1995 was the last time I had a best friend, and the last time I remember feeling like I was anyone's favorite anything.  And I applied that to God because I felt like He had favorites and that I was not one of them. 

Well that's a lie.  (Acts 10:34, James 2:1, Romans 2:11)

Lately I have been feeling God's affection towards me.  For the longest time I separated His love and affection, feeling as though God loves simply because that's who He is and not because He delights in me.  (like a car transports because it's, well, transportation.  That's just what it does)

I can't begin to describe this feeling.  Knowing that He is there to keep me from falling.  Feeling the caress on my heart as I'm walking to class or in the car or anywhere else.  Rejoicing in this newfound freedom...

Just be.  Don't do.  You cannot earn it.  Be.  And accept.

When I have given into sin it's because I think God's love is not sufficient for me.  But now I am truly feeling in my heart that there is NO substitute for God's lovingkindness and affection.  NOTHING compares.  NOTHING comes close to satisfying me like His love and mercy.  NOTHING else lasts.  NOTHING compares.

And with all of this I am learning to put away the false humility inside of me.  It is prideful to think that I can be sustained without a fresh covering of His lovingkindness each and every day. 

He has answered my prayers.  I have asked Him for more of His love and affection.  And, surprise surprise, He has delivered.  I thought before that it would be selfish to do this.  But it's prideful NOT to!

It's ok to be comfortable with who I am and to even like the quirks and oddities about myself.  It's ok to ask God to love on me and show me His affection... after all, He wants to.  Daily.

So dance for your King.  Sing songs to Him.  Allow Him to sing to you.  Return His love, but first you must accept it.  Make this your prayer; Oh God, love on me.  Search me.  Know me.  Pour out Your love upon my heart and let it overflow onto others.

There is no substitute.

And you know what?  I wouldn't have it any other way.

Post coming tomorrow.

PLEASE keep Virginia Tech in your prayers!