Going Home for the Summer

Yes, today is my last day in the dorms.  It makes me sad because I've gotten to like my independence a little too much, I think.  lol!  But I really wish I had made better use of this semester.  I'm really paying for it, too.  Not financially, mind you, but I will say that Rio may as well be a $20,000 a year college because I can't afford it as it is.  Anyhoo, my teachers, obviously were not happy with me come finals.  I think only one of them actually sympathized with me and gave me a decent grade because I did well on my projects.  Comp II was really bad.  My papers were not done to specifications (i.e. length, amount of sourcing, etc.)  and became a really sensitive subject for me.  I decided to do them on abuse, which was a mistake from the get-go because it was just really depressing, and I didn't want to do them.  Portfolio & Exhibits sucked.  I didn't have enough gallery hours because I was either in class or working when they were available.  Some of them weren't within walking distance, so I couldn't make them either.  Art History....need I go on?  My portfolio was lacking a lot of content, not in personal reflections, but in notes.  I slept in that class, I kid you not, about every time I was there.  And I didn't do well on the tests either.  I guess I had to learn the hard way that BS-ing doesn't work.  It did all through the rest of my academic career up to this point, but my luck ran out on me this time.

On that note, most of my teachers noticed the same thing:  I didn't try.  And I didn't.  I guess it really takes one good time screwing up to learn a lesson, which is kinda sad, but when you're one of those kids who doesn't listen, it's best to learn from experience.  I don't listen to a lot of things I'm told, especially yelling, because yelling is 90% anger and 10% thought at best.  Usually if an adult yells, it's because they're not happy anyway.  It also means that there's a good chance they're not putting much thought into what they're saying.  They're just yelling, not to get a point across, but to verbally beat the other person into submission.  That's really all it is.  It's also mostly to get a reaction, which causes more yelling. 

No, I will say that, yes, I goofed off pretty badly, and I kind of counted on BS-ing everything to get me by like I did in high school.  Needless to say, that was a bad idea.  Personally, my conscience is clear.  I screwed up, and I know I did.  All that's going to happen now is that it will take me longer to get out of college.  That really doesn't bother me.  At the rate I've been going all along, I wouldn't be ready for "the real world" after 4 years of college anyway.  I didn't develop at a normal rate.  I'm a bit slower than most people, so trying to graduate early, or even on time, probably wouldn't be good for me anyway, especially since I need to work at the same time.  I know what I have to do to deal with this and how to fix it.  I'm just worried about what my parents might say.  In all honesty, I did what I could.  It was just too little too late.  I think if I had cared, I could have done better. 

Someone told me I probably needed time off to work and save money, but I can honestly see myself not coming back.  I used to think I would no matter what, but now, I'm thinking, the way I deal with other things (putting them off) is probably the same way I'd deal with this.  I want to do better, and it makes me sad that I'm slow.  But that doesn't mean I should drop out.  It would only make sense to do that if I were moving out.  And I'm not.  So that's settled.  I want to learn to drive, though, because my lack of a license has become a problem.  I've had to depend on people a lot to get me where I need to go.  It's frustrating, especially for someone who doesn't like asking for help.

Good news, though, one of my friends came and saw me yesterday.  He didn't get to stay long (only a few hours), but it was nice to see him again.  I haven't seen this kid in a year and a half.  I missed him a lot.  He wants to come hang out with me during the summer.  I wish more of my friends could.  I like people, so long as they're not in groups. 

So, that's my life. 

Thanks for reading.

~jimXD

My 3-D Design Final! XD

This was my first project....and the one that took the longest.

Repitition Project

"Blank Stare"

Mixed Media

This one took me several weeks.  It was really frustrating, but it looks great.  It's basically papercastings of eyes with the irises painted the colors of the different eyes of the sides of a rubix cube.  It's basically a manifestation of my obsession with eyes.  I really like eyes for some reason.

Line Project

"Fall '07:  Parts I&II" respectively

Acrylic Paint and Photographs on Glass

This includes photographs from my first semester in college.  It's a neat piece, considering it's 2-sided.  The glass was a beast to paint, seeing as it's glass.  It's all smooth and non-porous and everything.  So I had to apply lots of coats.  This one really doesn't have a meaning.  It's just me and the things I see.

Texture with a Twist:  Contemporary Artist Reference

"Solitude"

Mixed Media and Found Objects

This project was based on Alberto Giacometti's "Three Men Walking" sculpture.  At least, I'm pretty sure that's what it's called.  It's made of a wooden base with facric and plant training wire, aluminum foil, Rollo wrappers, fake flowers, and picture-hanging hardware.  It's about feeling alone in a crowd of people.  Also note the colors of the flowers. The red and purple people see each other and are formulating opinions about each other, hence the opposing colored flowers behind them.  We formulate opinions about people the second we see them.  It's the way we are.  The yellow person, on the other hand, is surrounded by yellow flowers.  He only sees himself and is worrying about how he comes across to other people.  That's about what socialphobia feels like. 

Maquette

"Hollywood"

Cardboard and Aluminum Foil Sculpure on Wooden Base

This is basically a small version of something that's supposed to be bigger.  It definitely deserves its name, too.  It's called Hollywood because it's shiny and twisted, like Hollywood.  The other Jade actually played a big part in making this because I couldn't think of something to make.  So she and I were up at the art annex one afternoon, and she just randomly said "Hey, Jade, I can do this cool thing with straw paper.  Wanna see?"  So she folded up some straw paper and then pulled on it.  It came out looking something like this.  I thought, "It's just confusing enough to work!"  So I took the foil and covered the wood and cardboard with it.  I folded the cardboard like she showed me and put it on the block. The whole thing took me about 20 minutes.  Funny thing is, though, the teacher seemed to like this one the most.

Form (Inside/Outside) Project

"Love Me"

Found Objects an Acrylic Paint

This one was fun.  I couldn't think of anything to do for this one, either, but then for some reason, at that moment, I looked over at the tin left over from the chocolates my dad gave me for Valentine's day.  Then I just thought, "Yeah".  Then I looked over at the caution tape left over from the Li'l Bro scavenger hunt, and I thought, "Yeah!"  Then I dug through my bag and pulled out my paints, and I thought, "YESSS!"  Then I looked over at the bleeding hearts (flowers) in a plastic bag that one of my friends gave me, and I thought, "Sure".  But then I started looking at ways to press flowers and realized it was going to take way too long to be done one time and thought, "Crap."  So I went up to the art annex and looked for some found objects to add.  Someone had left a patch of chicken wire on the floor next to the barrel of wood scraps.  I took one look at that and thought, "Yeah...."  So I glued it in the tine and splatter-painted it.  I also painted the ends of the wire.  Then I glued the caution tape on.  The lid of the tin is on the back, and it's painted black with the ribbon purple and green (the anti-Valentine's Day colors), but I don't have a picture of that side because I didn't think about it while I had the camera. 

This one has a very profound meaning.  It basically means that even the most annoying, angry obnoxious, emotionally unstable people need someone to love them.  They may act like they want everyone in the world to just leave them alone, but it's because they're afraid of being hurt.  Some people (like bullies) lash out at people because they're angry or insecure.  They need someone to care for them, too.  See, when I went to Gallia Academy, I rode the bus, and there were these kids that were loud and obnoxious and perverted, but they stuck together.  They were the only friends each other had.  As it turns out, none of them had good home lives.  They needed someone to be there for them, so they stuck together.  Then when I came to college, I started hunting scragglers (people who always sit by themselves at meals).  I found one once that sat in the cafeteria who always wore headphones and ate a lot of things with his fingers.  I smiled at him once, and he moved to the other side of the table where he couldn't see me.  I actually talked to him later, and he thought I was making faces at him.  He was weird.  In fact, he creeped me out a lot.  But as I started to spend time with him, I realized that he's like me....and he's lonely.  Now he's one of my best friends, and I think he understands me better than most people.  We're close, and it's mainly because we've both found someone we can relate to. 

This project boils down to the fact that people need people. 

I hope you all liked my artwork.

Thanks for reading.

*hugs*

jimXD

Just updating to say.....

.....I'm pulling my second all-nighter in a row!  XD 

Yes, by the end of tomorrow, I will not have slept in 48 hours.  Go, me.  I stayed up all night last night finishing up on one of my more drawn-out projects.  Now I have my last final tomorrow (Or should I say, in 8 hours), and I'm just updating to let you all know that this thing is had.  I got this.  I cheated the system and got my wireless internet back in my room (even after they turned it off on me), I'm reading (yes, reading, as in, not skimming) wikipedia articles, I got 3 full boxes of Dots here and 5 unopened cans of black cherry soda here. 

Wish me luck.  My finals so far have not gone well....except my 3-D design one.  I kicked butt on that one.

YES!

*hugs*

~jimXD

What are the three quirky habits you have?

Oh, so you only want 3?  OK.  Um....  OK, here goes.

*ahem*

1)  I play with things in the immediate vicinity or on my person.  I have this thing about playing with my necklaces, zipper pulls, hair, and shoe laces.  I also play with whatever happens to be in my hand at the time, especially if it's a pencil or a pen.  For some reason, I always want to have something in, on, or touching my hands.  I'm not sure what that's about.

2)  When opening a straw wrapper, I either pound one end of it on the table or carefully tear it all the way down at the seams. Sometimes, I also tear the wrapper into little pieces.  I also have this thing about chewing on straws and coffee stirrers.  It's kinda weird, but it's something I've always done.

3)  Now for a more recently acquired habit.  My friend John always calls me a salad picker, and his claims are well-founded.  I refuse to eat lettuce that's white, brown, black, pink, or yellow.  I only eat it if it's green.  So I end up picking half my salad out when I eat fast food.  It's not good.  I think they should charge me half price since only half of the salad is edible.

Thanks for reading.

~jimXD

   

I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!

Why can't I just keep relationships?

It seems like every relationship I've ever been in hasn't lasted very long.  My longest was with my best friend Jesse (who no longer talks to me, unfortunately), and it was 2 months.  My shortest was with John (who is still one of my best friends), and it was almost a week.  I think it's either that 1) I can't commit and therefore don't put in the effort to maintain them, or 2) After a while, I just stop caring and let it go.  Feelings don't last very long.  I realize that.  But I can tell pretty quickly whether or not the relationship I'm in is built to last. 

For instance, I knew from the get-go that I wasn't going to be happy with Jesse, but I thought "Oh, it'll get better."  A word of advice:  It never gets better.  If you find yourself thinking that, stop and evaluate everything.  If you really just can't stand being in a relationship in general, don't seek it out.  I had that problem for a while and really screwed up some things with a lot of my guyfriends because  I was just dating because the opportunity presented itself. 

But it's not just romantic relationships that I'm having a hard time with as of late.  I'm losing friends.  Some of my guyfriends don't come around and talk anymore because they have girlfriends.  So I've ended up with all these single guys who are completely obsessed with me.  I don't understand why they just can't leave me alone.  On that note, I often find myself avoiding them.  I'm just lonely, and it's only going to get worse during the summer.  I don't have hardly any friends around where I live.  In fact, my best guyfriend is going back up to Columbus for the summer.  The people I do know that live near where I do aren't very mobile, though, so I can't hang out with them very often.   It sucks. 

I don't know, I just hope I can figure something out.  And what's worse, I may not have internet at my house, so I may not be able to get a hold of anyone.

Thanks for reading.

~jimXD