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Christian_audiophile
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Name: Daniel
Birthday: 10/14/1987
Gender: Male
Interests: Anything with a circuit board. Photography.
Expertise: Well... I'm a jack of all trades and a master of none.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
5/7/2004
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| Hey there everyone? How are you all doing?
It's been awhile since I've been by the old xanga... but I just thought I'd check in and see how all my old old friends are doing.
As most of you know, I switch to blogger quite some time ago. I would love to be able to syndicate that blog to this one, but I just don't have a feasable solution yet. So, until then, behold the power of the iFrame! In the frame below, you will see my blogger site, which means that's one less button click for you! (unless you decide to be so kind and leave a comment. ;) )
But anyway, leave me some love guys! Let me know how ya'll are doin!
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| Xanga...As you all can probably tell... I am not really using Xanga anymore. However, I am using blogger now and then, and, you don't have to be a member to post comments on my blog ;)
You can check out my photoblog here
http://aspiringphotographer06.blogspot.com/
And my regular blog here
http://audiophile8706.blogspot.com/
If you're on the tech scene, and know what an RSS feed is, you can add this to your reader:
http://feeds.feedburner.com/aspiringphotographer
http://feeds.feedburner.com/audiophile8706
Or Atom feeds...
http://aspiringphotographer06.blogspot.com/atom.xml
http://audiophile8706.blogspot.com/atom.xml
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| 3 months later....Wow, i really havent been here in awhile.. i guss i just kinda fell out of blogging. To busy i guess. Things have been going alright in my life. Im all set to go to WITC next year to work on an AS in IT:Network Specialist. On top of that im back to my good ol lawn mowing job which is actually starting to fail me seeing as we have recived no rain in well over a week. And yeah. Who knows.
I really dont know what to type here anymore, its been so long. My life has been crazy i guess... and today has just been an odd day.. well.. the week has been an odd week i should say. Something in me just feels... off. I got so much in my life right now.. yet.. i feel like something is missing... maybe its just peace thats missing as im about to walk into the unknown... leaving 13 years of normal edl (everyday life) and going out into the world.. out into life...
I guess i really just dont understand some things anymore. One of them being the feeling just mentioned. Another is how some people, one in particular, can love a guy like me so much. She deserves so much more that what i am, so much more i can offer... yet there she is.. giving her heart to me. A girl that means everything to me, who has everything iv ever even dreamed of.. and more. Everything seems way to good to be true.. And i guess thats what im scared of... that it is too good to be true.
What does she see in me? Since shes been in my life.. iv been discovering alot aboiut myself.. and all i can see in myself is a fat spoiled baby...one that doesnt deserve the love that she gives. Is that true? am i selling myself short? Am i being completely stupid, overthinking, and not just being thankfull for what i have?
I dont wanna dissappoint her.. i dont want to hurt her in some way.. i dont want her to see a side of me that she might hate and run away from.. I wanna be her "white knite" in a manner of speaking... but how can i do that without the self confidence to change my own life.. become healthier by losing weight, and by becoming less of a spoiled brat by not counting on the, for now, always present parents?
Is it maybe that all of this is caused by the insecurity caused by the impending, seemingly dauntless, future? Everythings changing in my life right now as i leave high school... am i scared that our relationship will change too? I mean, why wouldnt it, right? you lose friendships as you leave highschool and friends go their own ways, why would this be any different.. right?
Anybody ever feel this way? anyone at all? Someone please say they can relate.. if someone cant i fear i might go insane.
Trying to figure out faith, life, love, happiness, and other ponderable things......
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| It's been awhile..Seems as tho it has been awhile since my last post. I think my main reason for not posting is the dissappointment in never getting comments. Or rather, only getting comments when i make a depressing post. Kinda funny isnt it? People will comment, and be there to console you when your sad.. but theyre never there to rejoice with you when you're happy? A few of my friendships have worked out that way too... Like Morgan for example... I tell her about all my depression, she's then there for my shoulder to cry on, then, she forces me to tel my parents.. and now we barely talk. I just dont get it i guess.
O well.. i guess that is just a phase of my life thats past now.. Afterall, i should get used to it. In 3 short months i graduate... As much as im looking forward to it, im not. I cant wait to get out of school.. yet at the same time.. its what iv known my whole life. Friends will move off to college.. and i will prolly slowly lose contact with everyone i grew up with/around. Thats just the cycle of life tho isnt it? I mean, isnt it said that most of the friends you have in highschool you will lose, and the ones in college are the friendships you keep? Guess ill be pretty friendshipless then. I dont plan on going to college. I dont see the need to take two years of generals again, and then only take two years of what your actually going into. Trade school, or business college, seems to be the best way to go... Yet, here i am, 3 months left in school, and i still dont know what im doing with my life. First i thought i was going into audio production.. but wait.. that college only does radio, not production. Then i thought i was going to WITC for computer networking.. but the more i think about it, the more i think thats not where im spose to go with my life. Music feels like its my main calling.. music, and then sidejobs in something like photography. Music and photography are my two passions in life... the two things i can always come back to when everything else seems stupid. While i know there are classes for each, theyre all in four year colleges, which i dont wanna attend cuz im sick of generals, ESPECIALLY ENGLISH.
I just dont really know what to do right now. All i can say is i feel like a deadbeat..a lazy deadbeat.. i dont even have a freakin job right now. And right now im really getting scared... Looking at all the expenses of the future.. house.. family.. right now i cant even take care of myself.. how could i take care of a family in the future?
What should i do with my life?
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| Random observation...
You post bad news.. everyone comments.
you post good news..no one comments
can anyone figure that one out? 
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