I was telling Anthony the other day that if you have real friends... they won't care if you call them every day, every month... or once in a blue moon... as long as you call them... and you answer the phone when they call you... then everything will be okay...

that's how you know who really loves you...

I've talked to so many people in the past week who have faded from my present mind set... but who have managed to remain in the crevices that hold the happiest memories of my childhood, adolecence, near-adult hood... but they've all been there when it counts... when it matters... when the bricks have disintegrated and that was left was a faulty foundation which was badly in need of reparations... they've been there to hush the fears in the darkness... to silence the laughter in the mischief... they've been the source of wonderous adventures under the starry skies...


where would we be without people around us to remind us of our presence in the world... though we may be alone in our travels around the world... each taking our own journey down a forbidden path... we each have someone there to tell us that we are needed... we are welcome... we are indeed LOVED... whether we make it out of the darkness... whether we go too far ahead... whether we get lost in our own ramblings... they love us still... through the years of silence... the moments of frustration... they still love us... for that's what friends do....

Today... was kind of a horrendous/scary/okay day. It was really nice outside... especially on campus... and I got some stuff done at the bookstore... but yea... I guess you can never stop the shit from hitting the fan.

I found out that my cousin Joaquin... who's been MIA for a bit... is now in a halfway house somewhere in Kern County... his dad put him there.

bleh.

I hope he's okay... I'm sure he is... but when you're told that someone you love was/is possibly in danger... the ground falls from underneath you... I was really scared for a minute... but then I realized that I, personally, have nothing to be scared of. I can't protect him, I can't save him, hell... I can't even be there to talk him out of whatever he's thinking about.

You can never stop someone from making the decisions that they've already decided upon... they have to face the consequences on their own... and that's what he's doing... granted the consequences didn't need to be so extreme... but maybe... maybe he'll be okay after this.




that or he'll just be even more crazy.

mmm...

So everything is finally resembling something called "Life" or "A Life" I guess I should say.

While everything still remains a big hustle and bustle everywhere... its pretty satisfying to have everyday be productive... Distractions still remain... but at least I go to sleep at night actually tired