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| So I ordered this badass tablet (as a peripheral device for my computer) to enhance my skillz in photoshop and just art in general. Because of it's price and lack of weight it qualified for free 3-day, count it 1,2,3 day shipping. I ordered it on Monday at the same time I ordered my roommate's birthday present (which I shipped UPS ground). They both sent me confirmation emails that they had been shipped on Tuesday indicating to me that I should get the tablet on Thursday or at the latest on Friday evening. I wouldn't expect to get the roomie present until tomorrow or Tuesday. However...
I received the roomie present unexpectedly on Friday. The tablet that I have been drooling in anticipation for? Did not ARRIVE! Unfortunately for me the bastards didn't give me a tracking number either so I'm waiting blind. I should have just let it be shipped UPS ground instead of FedEx 3-day (they're both free). Oh well...
Anticipation is half the fun right? ... bullshit
On a "happier" note, I shared my religious views with one of my friends on Friday. I left her in tears... of sadness. Apparently, it's easier to convince someone that your ideology is supreme if it indicates that somehow things are better after you die.
At least I have my most wonderful girlfriend to keep me from destroying the world. Egypt, however, will feel my wrath regardless. Thank you, Ting. Thank you for everything.
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| I can't seem to keep this thing going with regularity... but I want to, and that will just have to be enough. I should be studying my pharmacology right now. I have an exam on Wednesday, and while that may seem far away to most people (it did while i was still in undergrad) it's not enough time now. I decided to start running again (instead of just elliptical) with my workout. I didn't really want to add anything that would seriously burn calories because that's never really been an issue for me, but with all the extra protein i'm getting i've been adding a little pudge weight. Sheesh...
On a brighter note, I ordered a freakin' sweet drawing tablet for my computer. I kind of fell in love with the graffiti application on fb. It's crude and has extreme limitations, but I think that's why I like it. Not to mention the "Replay" feature which allows me to learn from other artists. I've only made like 5 drawings, but if you view them you can see that my abilities are getting exponentially better. I'm really tired of drawing with a mouse though and I require better equipment to enjoy my new found hobby.
I've discovered I really need some sort of creative outlet all the time. It doesn't seem to matter much whether it's writing music, playing the piano, drawing, singing, acting, video editing, etc. etc. I just need something. Drawing on a computer is new to me, but I really like it and I think it will be one of my new favorites.
I've realized something important about myself. I've never been satisfied with mediocrity. I can't seem to let anything that is just "okay" be. I could continue to draw with a mouse, but I know I won't be able to do the best that I can do.
I can't wait til I get that tablet.
Clay's Life Lessons #973: "Don't ever sneeze while you are peeing"
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| Gosh, this must be a new record for me. What, almost two months since my last entry? I miss making entries all the time. Usually a long span of time means I'm happy. That is the case here, but there is also a confounding variable - I'm flippin' busy as hell these days! It was easy to write all the time when I was in undergrad because well... undergrad was easy.
I had another badass apocalyptic dream the other day. I dreamed I was on my way to go camping somewhere, but my roommate was driving. I was staring out the back window of the car (which is weird because I never do that in real life because it's really uncomfortable) watching the sky. A bright green asteroid/meteorite (i don't know which but it was big), reminiscent of the one in Meteor Man except the size of a football stadium probably, came cruising through the atmosphere and slammed into the earth. A cloud of dirt rose immediately up to the top of the atmosphere and was heading towards us. Smaller pieces of asteroid were also raining down and hitting closer to us. I thought the blast was going to engulf us, but it never did. It doesn't make sense because we were only a couple hundred miles away, but in my dream this event heralded the end of civilization as we know it. Interestingly, I only felt excited.
Then I woke up and drove into the city that I hate and went to pharmacy school.
Ting is beautiful. I'm happier every day.
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| Recent Emotions: Confusion, Fatigue, Jealousy
Confusion - That's the easiest one. I'm back in school and things in school are often confusing. There just seems like too much. It keeps going on and on and on with more and more detail. Am I really going to remember these things? Am I going to remember these things long enough to help anyone with them? I just keep on plodding along, studying, trying, forgetting, re-studying. Which brings me to my second emotion.
Fatigue - Okay, so fatigue isn't exactly an emotion, but its connection to my confusion is so powerful that it must be included. All that plodding is making me tired. I'm tired of doing this. I'm tired of the city. I need some fresh air. Ah, another opportune segue.
Jealousy - Ahh jealousy. My only good emotion I'm including today. What? Jealousy = Good? Impossible you say? No, not impossible. Jealousy takes a bad rap, but it just so happens to be a rather good indicator that you care about something or someone. Jealousy is a rather silly thing; most often unfounded, pointless, and an utter ruiner of lesser minds. Of course it can be good. It's rather like getting punched in the face when you are in the middle of a battle instead of getting shot; you know you aren't dead yet and you remember to duck more often. I welcome the jealousy I feel because I know it's ridiculous and it reminds me how much I care. It reminds me that my heart isn't made of stone... contrary to common belief. It reminds me to appreciate and not to take for granted.
I was like a skeleton, freezing, starving, in a barren and wintry scape, laid upon the earth in a heap of troubled bones. Two years... two years I had nothing to drink, nothing to eat, nothing to see, and nothing to feel... two years! Then she was there, a good spirit in the cold, warm and smiling and carrying a carafe of golden wine. Almost forgetting how or why, I opened my rusted mouth and she began to pour. Its powerful taste succored me in my pitiful situation and began to fill a void I hardly remembered existed. I don't know if I will ever get enough. Keep pouring.
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| Today I went sailing with my dad for the first time in something like five years. I don't think I ever enjoyed sailing the way I did today. It was cold outside, brisk to be more accurate. Not enough to make you rack with the shakes, but enough to make your nose run and numb your fingers. The wind made my eyes water, but it felt good on my face and through my hair. My dad let me handle the boat, but I realized that I had no idea what I was doing. However, for the first time ever, everything my dad told me to do made sense. Like when you tack, you loosen the jib on one side and tighten it on the other when it gets pulled over by the wind. I mean, it sounds so simple it's stupid, but for some reason I never grasped the idea when I was younger. I did today, and it felt good. I felt like I had accomplished something, like I was powerful. I harnessed the wind and made it do my bidding.
"It thrilled through him when he first felt the keel answer to his hand
on the spokes and slide over the long hollows as the foresail scythed
back and forth against the blue sky." ~Kipling
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