I miss my friends....

Ok, so i guess i've been feeling a little down in the dumps lately so this is my chance to vent about it. I know I haven't used xanga in like, 4 months or something but this is something I need to do to make myself feel better.

Being married to Justin for the past 6...count 'em....6 weeks has been nothing short of amazing. Although our relationship hasn't really changed, he's been nothing but wonderful as we're getting settled into our new place and new phase of our relationship. I look forward to coming home everyday, cooking dinner together and then just spending time with one another.

Then there's the problem of my 'friends'. Don't get me wrong, there are a few who have been really helpful since the wedding with our move and getting adjusted to things but then there are ones who want nothing to do with me. Its like, now that i'm married, i'm like, some old biddy who has to stay home every night so one one even bothers to ask me to go out and do anything. I hate it. I love my friends and they mean the world to me but this is something that I shouldn't have to put up with. Its like, no one has time for me anymore. I know that marriage pretty much brands me from being 'Chrissy' to branding me as 'Chrissy & Justin'. I have a devotion to my husband but I'm still the same person I was. We like to go do things with people but we don't spend every waking moment together either. From now on, if you're my friend but you don't act like it, then I'm done with you. I'm tired of always being the one to contact you and you only contacting me when you realize that I'm really upset. I may be Mrs Justin Fullmer but that's no reason that you people can't treat me like a person you can come to. I love having a huge group of friends but if only a few of them are good enough to treat me the way I deserve to be treated...then fine...atleast that shows me who my real friends are....as for the rest of you............no more effort from this end...its up to you to keep our friendship alive....I'M DONE!

Ok, so long time...no write. I'll take a brief moment to write an update.

Yes, I'm still around. Still living, breathing and all that good stuff. Still not feeling 100% but things are getting better. Supposed to go for blood work this week. Started daily meds for the rest of my life and forever. I swear my stomach still hurts like, everyday. thanks for everyones support and i want to make plans w/ each one of you to catch up and redeem myself for being such a bad friend this semester.

Wedding plans. 8 more months to go and i don't even want to think about it. his parents are driving me crazy. maybe we should've eloped? december will be time to start looking at tuxes and planning the registry. and january will be invitation time. bridesmaid dresses are to be here right around thanksgiving. found out that very close relatives aren't coming....assholes. but i don't care anymore. these lyrics are my new motto to live by:

Garden Party ~ Rick Nelson

"...but it's alright now,
I learned my lesson well,
see you can't please everyone
so you got to please yourself..."

So. In summary...I love you all. Forgive me for my mistakes because I'm learning. And after being so sick, I'm going to do my best to take care of myself and show each of you that your support is what keeps me going.

Oh yeah, I forgot that I'm stupid. I forgot to register on the day I was supposed to. Thankfully I still got everything I wanted.

Currently Listening Garden Party By Rick Nelson see related

I want you to know I'm happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me
Is she perverted like me
Would she go down on you in a theater
Does she speak eloquently
And would she have your baby
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother

'Cause the love that you gave that we made
wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, 'til you died
But you're still alive

Chorus:
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
And now you're thinking of me when you f*ck her

'Cause the love that you gave that we made
wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, 'til you died
But you're still alive

Repeat Chorus

'Cause the joke that you laid in the bed that was me
And I'm not gonna fade as soon as you close your eyes
And you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it...well can you feel it

Repeat Chorus (2x)