So I finally got my internet code...

Me and D. still keep in contact throughout the summer even though we live in 2 different states. He calls me almost every day. It's nice. He applied to my school and he starts in the fall!! I'm kinda worried though cause I have a lot of male friends and I'm kinda flirtatious...He's not the jealous type though and neither am I, but he's never been put to the test either...Me and D. seem like boyfriend and girlfriend. But we never said the word...He called me wifey last time he called and it caught me off-gaurd...He said, "Hey wifey!!" and I said, "Hey!!..." I kinda hesitated partly cause I was caught off guard, wasnt sure if I heard him correctly and also trying to remember what the male word for wifey is....It was an awkward situation....That's sweet though. I'm thinking once school starts though he might like a different girl since there are so many now. and now since I had to cut my hair, which is one of the things that attracted him to me...im worried. But I dont know, im fine being just friends with him because I think he's more attached than I am. Something tells me he's clingy though...I dont know. I dont mind being around him, but I hope that doesnt change.

You all 'en been missing much though...summer's boring. just working and talking on the phone and spending time with family. not much juicy gossip lately. That excersing every day with one a my best friends isnt happening anymore cause i cant get to the gym, but somehow im losing weight faster without it than I was before...I hope im not sick, although I did lose a lot from the flu....I dont know, but it's cool! lol. Would anyone be interested in my diet and excercise plan?

***I was supposed to finish my other entry, but I did a new one first instead while it's still fresh in my memory***

[May 3, 2008]

YOOOO....Today was crazy!!!

I woke up at 7:00am on Saturday morning....not easy for me to do even on weekdays when i have classes....My eyes were all tearing from being tired and my throat was hurting for whatever reason...I ate my 3 sugar cookies that i saved from yesterday since the school cafeteria wasnt even open yet...then i was with my school organization to do a function in the town that my school is in at 8:30am...it was supposed to be a short function, but it was longer than expected and it ended at 11:30....it was sorta fun....

I left the organization around 12pm and was gonna go eat lunch with the people in the organization, but the shower was calling my name so I missed lunch. I went to my room and took a shower. When i got out i thought about catching up with my friends at the cafe, but they most likely wouldnt still be there and i didnt wanna eat by myself so i didnt go...Then, i tried the vending machine with my $5 bill (our vending machines take 5's) but it didnt work cause it didnt recognize the new $5 bill design and just gave my money back. ....i really wanted those purple skittles.........lmao...I just decided to eat at 8pm so I could use the rest of my prepaid money at the cafe's late hours before the semester finishes and they keep my change....I was starving!! It was so bad that I had a headache

I was tired already, and then the function made me even more tired, plus my legs were hurting from it too so i went to sleep from like 1pm til 815 when D.W. called. I was so happy to hear from him. He hadnt called in a while and a lot boys been trying to talk to me. I was unsure if I should tell them I was single. Im glad I didnt cause i love D.W. I wanted to tell D.W. that today actually, but I was shy, even though I think he loves me too... ...But I just love him!!...I was gonna eat, but he asked if I wanted him to pick me up, and he doesnt have to ask me that twice so of course I said yes!! I cancelled my plan to eat at the cafe cause maybe we would eat together and because I wanted my stomach to stay tight lol...

At 11pm he was outside my dorm and I got in his car and we drove around talking a little while before he parked in our spot and we made out. He touched me a litttle and tickled me a lot. He said he liked my shirt cause it was silky lol. He said it was sexy and he told me he loves my body. He kept telling I have abs and my stomach was hard, lol. It was, but I was trying to be modest about it. He asked me if I been working out, lol.

Me and my best friend A.S. been working out every day for an hour at the school gym. I'm realy glad cause I love the results and I was afraid I would gain weight from the birth control, but I actually lost weight and gained abs. So it's all good. By the way, my birth control will be ineffective on May 7th. Im not worried cause that means soon that side effect will end. But im never going on that type of birth control again!! I just rely on the condom and plan B if necessary. All contraception is included in my health fee, so I took advantage of it. Plus, im not so worried about losing my virginity anymore. D.W. isnt begging me for it or pressuring me about it and he still loves me the same so...I think that's beautiful. Probbably when he starts living on campus we might do it. But we can wait and im glad he has self-control. I think his religion has something to do with it. He might even be waiting for marriage. but i dont know. He's the right one to lose my virginity to though. When I went for my follow up appointment for birth control they reviewed my symptoms, and I realize it wasnt that bad. I was expected to have blurred visiopn and I  didnt. They expected me to gain weight, but I didnt. They thought I would suffer leg cramps. I didnt. They thought I would lose hair. I did, but it was from my relaxer, not my  birth control, and plus hair grows back anyway, so im not that worried, lol. Im used to losing hair from relaxers all the time. By the way, im deciding to go natural and only use the hot comb and braids. Relaxers are the white man's poison. So i only had one side effect and it was the one that everyone is supposed to get. Im really glad.

Nothing's open at 11pm in the town where my school is located lmao...only clubs are open at that time and we're both too young to get in... :( But we parked there and kissed. He was gonna plug in his laptop so we could watch a DVD but we both agreed that would be a weird thing to do in a parked car plus it's battery was too low...somehow by the time i got in his car i wasnt hungry anymore...we just kissed and kissed and kissed until he couldnt kiss anymore, he said his jaw was hurting, lmao!! he said i outkissed him...Plus he was tired so he kissed me goodbye and I went to my dorm. I was 1am. He had asked me when I got in his car if I was hungry but I said, "I'm aright." He asked me a lot of times to make sure, cause he's so caring. but i lied because i didnt wanna make him pay for me again, he's too nice. i dont think i deserve him....On the way back he asked if i wanted him to drop me off at the cafe instead of my dorm, but i told him no since it was about to close anyway.

i went in my dorm, about to go back to sleep, but i was too hungry, and i would be even hungrier in the morning...the cafe doesnt open until 11am on sundays, and that would mean i only ate 3 cookies at 7am and would be starving til 4:30pm tomorrow. because I dont wake up til late on sundays and then it takes me forever to get out the building and go eat....

so i decided to walk to the supermarket which is across the street from my school. It was 1:06pm and it closed at 1am....In my hometown, supermarkets are open 24/7...so i walked farther to applebees, but that was closed at 1am also and it was 1:20am...It was kinda weird walking by myself in the dark at 1something in the morning looking for food...I walked a little farther to the mcdonalds. It was open! lmao...I didnt have a car,  and only the drive-thru area was open....guess what i did...I got on line. Some car tried to run me over! but later i realized why............... this group of girls in the car looked like they go to my school (only cause they;re black and other than my school the town's population is predominately white, lol), but i dont think they did. They wanted me to get out the way, but i told them i was on line. They said okay and offered for me to sit in their car with them. I said no thanks though cause it was full plus i didnt know them like that.... they said something else, but i couldnt hear them so i told them taht and just went about my business. Then someone got out. I turned around and was like, oh.-no. It was a girl with dreads, black sunglasses, and male clothes....A gay girl. She asked if I wanted her to wait with me. I said, "If you want..." I really didnt want her to. Lesbians make me really uncomfortable....She tried to talk to me. Then she said, "So you really dont like girls at all???" I flat out told her no. I also told her I have a boyfriend. She said, "Yo, fuck that dude! He should be here with you, paying for you! Want me to buy you something? --I buy you something" She was really creeping me out at that point and then I was also offended by what she said about my boyfriend...It's funny though, cause she's a girl, but she did have more game than some boys, I was impressed. lmao, she was funny. Never will I like girls though. Why would I want something that I already have. I mean we got the same body parts. Really, if I wanna feel a girl body part, I have my own, lmao!!! Girls cant do anything boys cant and they dont have a dick. Why do girls like each other??? I think it's a fad...Dudes were trying to talk to me too, that girl said those men were breaking their necks to look at me, lol. It was kinda scary though, cause I was by myself and it was late, and they were older than me.

Anyway, luckily, my two friends from college came to my rescue. I didnt even recognize them at first, but I was like, thank God! somebody's here to spare me! lol. It was H. and J. two crazy dudes that I met through my best friend C. who are of the same ethnicity as her. They're so fun to be around. H. is always joking on people with no mercy, he's so ignorant sometimes, but he's funny as hell and then J. is just real mellow but he's funny too. They both think im real cool. But of course, they're wondering why im <b>standing</b> at a drive-thru window...They were laughing their a---- off!! "Ayo, why [my name] <i>standing</i> on the drive-thru line?!!! Ahahahahahahahaahahah" "Yo, [my name], you goofy! The only person I know who stand on the drive-thru  line!!" I told them about how they wouldnt serve me cause they "dont take walk-ups"...I dont know why, maybe car accidents..but whatever. Then H. and J. asked me why I didnt get in those girls' car and I told them I didnt know them at that one of them tried to talk to me. Of course, H. likes lesbians being the guy he is..so he went to talk to them, lmao!! But then H. and J. offered me a ride in H.'s car so I accepted. They were also laughing about how I walked all the way to McDonald's at 1someting in the morning. "[my name] is the smartest dumb person, yo!" J. said. lmao!! I explained to them that i dont have common sense. "I know she smart, but that was crazy yo!...how'd get into college, eh?"J said. "[my name], you're a smart...woman, but what you did right there, no offense, that was stupid..." H. told me. I was laughing my ass off though. I entertain them. J. said he doesnt believe the things I do, but I honestly thought to give it a try standing in line at the drive-thru cause it was the only place open within walking distance....I was glad they gave me a ride, but H. and J. had weed packets in their lap. I thought to get out the car to eliminate the risk of being caught up in that if they got caught, but I risked it anyway...hunger makes me do crazy things like stand in line at a drive up window...

Anyway, we got the food and H. and J. kept cracking jokes and speaking in their language that I dont understand, but I like listening to it. I assume they were talking about girls as usual and I think im glad they made the conversation private cause it was probably nasty...but I like people at my school. they look out for me. Cuase I was gonna be real  hungry tomorrow morning...I like how I'm not allowed to walk even a few blocks before a friendly student offers me a ride. It's nice. It makes my day. J. asked me for my number again cause his friend M.P. (lol, his friend's name is funny) wanted to talk to me. He asked me for it a long time ago, last semester, and I gave it to him, but I gave him the wrong number by accident. It really was by accident. J. thought I was trying to play his friend. Lol, i remember when I gave his friend my number and J. said, "Ayo, and dont try to give us a fake number either..." Me and my other friend on 4-way were cracking up becuase we both assumed that J. was used to getting fake numbers or something for saying that.  I do that a lot though, it's an honest mistake. ...and I was wondering why M.P. never called me...I thought he didnt like me. Now I dont think I should have gave J. my number for M.P. cause all J.'s friends that he tries to hook up with me only want one-night stands. Plus M.P. could barely speak English when I talked to him on 3-way awhile back. That would be a problem in a relationship....I love H.O. and J. though, they're my homies!! They never fail to entertain me, and I always keep them laughing with my goofiness, lol.

If I do ever talk to M.P. it would be if me and D.W. dont work. cause I consider him my boyfriend. matterfact...he was supposed to call me when he gets home. Either he forgot, or he fell asleep. He better be safe! Gosh...Im realizign how much I really like and love this boy!! And to think I wasnt really interested in him at all almost when I first met him...funny...I think I can love D.W. now cause im over P.H. and his lame jealous self.

[my name] loves D.W.