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Completely_Compelled
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Name: Teddi
Birthday: 12/18/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: she paints with her words, she laughs with her eyes, she dances when she walks, her head is way up high. she sleeps under trees, she searches the sea's, she'll remember everything.
Occupation: Writer
Industry: Non-Profit
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
5/13/2005
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| A quick, basic update.
I swear the last three days have felt more like three weeks. I am completely exhausted in everyway possible- mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. I can't wait to sleep.
Yesterday was the last day of MEC. Highschool is over. I cannot believe it. Such a awareness of this transition has it's own set of emotions.
Today I was at Lebanon Valley College from about 8am-4pm, finding out about classes, meeting my Professor's, checking out activities, and learning more about the school. I am excited, yet also am a little scared.
My head is healing. I get my staples out on Friday. My fatigue could also be from the fact that I don't sleep as well with staples on the side/back of my head. I have to be careful how I sleep, take a shower, etc.
Along with staples in my head, there are many lessons, thoughts, and ideas that are going around and around in there, along with circulating throughout my over-loaded spirit. I think that's a good place to be, but it's also a heavy one.
Tonight at Girls Only blessed my heart. I love the beautiful girls in my group. We found a baby rabbit on our evening adventure walk and as of now, it's in a cage in my bedroom and I'm trying to nurse it back to health. Pray for "Bunny". I'm far too attached to this earth and everything on it that breathes. I'm filling up with tears because of a 5 inch rodent in a cage on my floor. I'm rediculous.
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| My prom night was yesterday, and it was beautiful. All my friends looked lovely, the food was delicious, my date was such a gentleman, and my table at dinner was hilarious.
Ironically, my prom night ended a little earlier than other's. On the rockin dance floor, a few friends and I were doing that trust game-where you fall backwards into someone's arms. It was fun, and we did it a few times. On my third time as the person who fell, there wasn't anyone there to catch me, and I fell straight backwards into the bar table. I ended up cracking my head open, being taken to the ER, getting staples in my head, a tetnis shot, and some tests. I'm okay now, except that my head is very, very, very, very sore. I guess I can't do anything conventionally!
Otherwise, the prom was beautiful. I am so thankful for my friends (I had eleven voicemails when I woke up today at 1pm), and Julia and Johnny held my hands at the hospital when I got my shots and staples. Memories, memories.
Senior's 2008
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| This afternoon I heard the song "Learning How To Die" by Jon Foreman. I've had the CD on loop for the past few weeks, but today I really heard the words. And when I did I thought, This is me. This is my life. This is my journey.
I said, `Please.
Don't talk about the end.
Don't talk about how every little thing goes away.`
She said, `Friend, all along..
I thought I was learning how to take,
How to bend not how to break,
How to live not how to cry,
But really..
I've been learning how to die.
I've been learning how to die.
I realized that I have been learning how to die. That means so much. Yet I don't have words.
Tonight at youth group was incredible. I felt intimacy, community, love, and honor. I felt that we were washing each other's feet, just without actually doing it. Our pain is each other's pain. We are each other's. No man is an island.
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| I wrote this tonight in a dark room full of girls who prayed, cried, and laughed. But mostly prayed and cried. I sketched it on the back of a napkin. My words overflowed, but not as much as my heart. Hosanna heard.
I see puffy clouds of majesty,
And I know every inch of sky longs for You.
I see gardens of splendor and glory.
And I know every flower blooms for You.
I see cherry blossom trees of pink and red.
And I know every sweet part grows for You.
I see spring lightening cut through black skies.
And I know every song of summer sings for You.
I see a summer slowly journeying here.
And I know it's defeating winter for You.
I know it wants to bring You glory,
I know it longs to bring You glory,
It was made to. It was made to.
I see the free girl with death under her feet.
And I know she woke up for You.
I see the girl with a home that feels decayed.
And I know she'll try to breathe love for You.
I see the girl with a confused heart.
And I know she won't escape Your eye.
And I am the girl of peace, who will continue to believe.
And I know I am alive for You.
I know we want to bring You glory.
I know we want to bring You glory.
We were made to.
It is not something we choose, it is something we harbor.
It is not something we do, it is something that we are.
It is not something that we make, it is something we become.
We are becoming, we are becoming, we are becoming;
Creatures that live and breathe,
To bring You glory.
We are forever, and we never will cease. These souls that bring You glory.
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| I always wanted God to lead me into a lifestyle of community. I am not sure why, perhaps because it is the opposite of "alone-ness" but yet, also didn't mean being surrounded by tons of people just for the sake of it. I always wanted community, but sometimes the concept seemed like a lot of blah, blah, blah.
Lately I have felt God streching my understanding of community, and asking me to step into it more. I realize the more that I do, the more rich I feel in my relationships with Jesus and people. However, it also becomes more straining as I am challenged in really all aspects of my life; spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally and relationally. Regardless, I wouldn't change that. I feel that I am in a good place right now, and though there have been challenges and heartaches, I feel secure and right.
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