I'm not a dumbass nor am I ditzy. I just play dumb for the sake of _______. So, no I'm not as stupid as I appear to be. 

Its getting lonely. I'm getting that craving again. Argh, gotta get rid of it.

I need therapy in sleep. I need to get rid of this addiction of staying up late at  night. Its killing me slowly. I also need to do my homework and stop procrastinating. Argh... life sucks so much cock right now.

Someone give me something happy to think about. Something or someone new and fresh. I'm suffocating in rotting air. Why do people suck so much?

I'd rather drown myself in fantasy books and manga than bother with reality. Its just so troublesome or maybe its just too boring. And everyday is so repetitive. Its an neverending, monotonous cycle. I'm tired of seeing the same faces everyday, traveling to the same places, retracing the same routes. But what is there to do other than this? There simply isnt enough time in the world or ideas.

I'm also getting quite lonely.
Love causes so much hate.

I'm also getting sick of making promises to myself and other people that I cant keep. So.. I guess you can call it a resolution: stop making false promises. So that means, no more "I'm going to do this homework early on or study for the SAT this week." or "I'll do it for you!" Yeah.. no more volunteering for things without thinking about it thoroughly.

I am one ticked, unhappy, depressed, pessimistic bastard.
Where oh where is the joy in life?

I'm also sick of having a different mind from everyone else. So I'm a little old-fashioned. Maybe a bit of a drama queen and a bit too romantic (not in the love-love way.) Like if I had some "crazy" idea to spend the rest of the night sitting in the upper level of a parking lot to stare at the sky and talk about random crap...no, its not good. And yeah, I also wish I kind of lived in the suburbs. Then there would be a cliff from which I can see the entire town at night. I want to be a little different. I want to break my reputation. I want to stop being who I am but be myself at the same time... I just want to be a girl...

All these wants and needs and wishes. Theres nothing in life I'm satisfied with. Once a human gets something, they want more and more and more. Greedy ass mammals.

This entry keeps getting longer and longer because everytime I press submit and the page reloads I get a new thought and feel like I must write it down or I'll lose it. My memory is very poor and its deteriorating. And recently, due to the lack of sleep, its gotten worse. I promise I'll stop with the thoughts at this paragraph. Good night folks.