...........hey xanga............what's up??.............

lol I kinda forgot about this place since I got on myspace, but myspace is startin to get kinda boring to me....it's getting old I guess....it's still fun somedays, but it's not as personal as a xanga and I guess that's part of its appeal....*sighs* I'm really only here because I don't hav any messages or comments right now, I've just responded to everything and have nothing else to do lol....so yea here I am on xanga doing nothing....I still write a lot u noe....I wrote a poem the other day...I would post it but I think it's in one of my other binders, all my notes are scattered everywhere, but by the end of this year I'll have them all collected in one place I guess...when I find it I guess I'll come back...does anyone still read these??? that's one of the other reasons I moved to myspace...all my friends were on there...if anyone still reads mine, leave me a comment or send me some sort of sign just so I know I'm not writing in vain...well, see you when I see you...

man I wonder if ppl stilll read these things....I know I don't, I stick to myspace and I think everyone else does too....I only came here b.c. I'm bored and I felt like writing or typing or whatever...I'm going thru a halloween crisis....I've been talkin about how i've wanted to dress up uber bad this year and no one even cared...so now it's 5:42pm, malls close in like 20 min. and I hav no costume...I'm so disappointed this year....and on top of not having a costume I hav retarded ass practice tom. so I can't even go trick or treating or to the leuzinger dance...this is  going to be the worst halloween ever......i think I'm gonna shoot myself in the face

Currently Watching Legally Blonde By Reese Witherspoon, Luke Wilson see related

I was going thru old crap I saved on my compy and find this thingie I wrote like 20 years ago.....

I’ve spent a majority of my life focusing on the negatives and downsizing the positives, but now when I look back on my life I can remember all the good times. All those memories have been with either my friends or family, they are my life. Without them I wouldn’t be the person am I now or even be interested in the same things I am now. My loved ones bring out the best in me, and if the had never existed, I might as well have not lived either.

The reason I hold back is, not because I don’t trust you, but it’s just that you can’t regret what you haven’t said. I think too much to just come out and tell you how I feel without thinking you’d, either, not feel the same, or think of me as weird. I’m just so afraid of everything it makes me want to die, but I’m even afraid of that. You are what holds me together and without you in my life is like me dying, I know I’m difficult, and I’m sorry. Just stay here with me and dry my tears, I need you the most now. Just be with me….

interesting isn't it?? lol not really...

 yea it's sad how true it is lmao...

Currently Listening Naked By Marques Houston see related

- Sex With You

I'm getting tired of little boys

well not really...I just want a man lol

anyways Tuesday was my birthday so yea.....it was pretty alrite I guess, I just didn't get anything I really wanted...this year was, I think, was one of my worst birthdays..on Monday I just kept wishing that my birthday wouldn't come, but it did...and I cried a lot...I officially hate birthdays....well mayb not birthdays in general, just mine...

ahhh I'm so bored....myspace isn't working for me and I woke up a lil while ago so I needed to type to get my brian going....dammit! BRAIN!!!! I can't even spell lol....

I'm sleepy..goodnite...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz