I’m about to start typing and I don’t know how long (or confusing) this
will be.
Also, I really couldn’t tell you why I’m writing this today.
Sometimes, I feel like I just need to
write these things to help me think them all out. I guess that’s what a journal is for, but
hopefully I’ll come out with something useful/encouraging/whatever (although
probably not original).
And also, if any of this sounds like preaching, it probably
is preaching to myself.
Life is just one of the weirdest things ever.In thinking about this recently, I’ve been
realizing several things which are not really all that connected, but are all
important.
First of all, it is almost creepily amazing how the little
things that we do have a huge impact on other people.This is really basic, but people usually
completely ignore it.I mean, everybody
out there lives for themselves, what do I want? What’s in it for me? etc.We call this selfishness and we tell little
kids, “don’t be selfish.” That’s
good.But there’s more than selfishness.When we sin, we hurt others.When we make mistakes, we hurt others. It sounds like a pretty lousy system actually,
I mean, one person messes up and it throws off the whole thing.But then, it really works better than anything
I could have thought up. In the same way
that we hurt one another, we also have the power to heal one another. Think about it.You commit a sin, and it hurts me.What does this do for me? It gives me an opportunity to turn around and
show Christ to you. I can help you
through your sin.Of course, this only
works if I’m not so caught up in myself that all I can think about is, “he hurt
me.” We’d all be nowhere if Christ said,
“they killed me, I’m not saving them.”
And then, I’m struck by how much we complain. We complain every single day of our lives
about the smallest things.I mean, the
Israelites complained and they had to wander in a desert for forty years and
never made it to the promised land.I
don’t think complaining is any way of honoring God OR getting Him to bless us.
Another thing.Where
are we, as Christians, judging our success in life? When do we begin to say that we are “worthless”?Are we ever worthless if we’re obeying God
and seeking to follow Him? The temptation
with Christians, I suppose, is to know what God wants them to do. For example, He wants me to have this job or
that job. (Or, for that matter, he wants me to have a job.) So you pursue that course of action, and then,
what happens?It doesn’t work.So does that make you failure?Are you worthless?No.You’ve followed God, you’ve obeyed Him, and He’s taken you down a harder
path than you expected. Should we be
surprised by this?Should we give
up?Should we start blaming God or other
people?I’m reminded of the line from that
hymn, “content to fill a little space if Thou be glorified.”
And the most wonderful thing on earth can be change.Good change.Seeing people change, grow, mature over time is amazing. I guess that’s one reason that old friends are
wonderful.You know how awful they used
to be, and you can see just how far they’ve come. It gives us all hope.Isn’t it true that the people you respect the
most usually don’t start out with all that much? They aren’t the perfect people, they aren’t
the ones who always get it right, they aren’t the ones who are completely confident
in themselves and know what they are doing. You respect the people who get it wrong a
million times and just keep trying and trying because they DON’T trust in
themselves, they trust in the grace and mercy of God, which never runs out, and
promises to finish the good work that it has started.
And, I just thought I’d tell all of you that don’t
already know, that I have decided to attend the University of Delaware
in the fall. AAAAHHH!!!!!!!
I spent two hours of this afternoon in the dentist's office, and now my jaw hurts and I have a headache. The dentist told me that my wisdom teeth need to be taken out, but since none of my four older sibings have had theirs out, I doubt my parents will decide to actually get it done. They aren't causing any problems right now, so it's not too much of a big deal to me. But the hygenist spent a good portion of the time telling me how chapped my lips are...
After feeling very lazy today, and not getting too much done, I started thinking about how I'm getting behind in school, and that is NOT a good thing. I was trying to encourage myself to keep working, telling myself that I'm trying to graduate, the sooner I get to work, the sooner I'll be done! But none of it was working. I felt like maybe I'd lost sight of something. I hate work. But we were made to work. It helps us to keep focus on why we're here, and what we're supposed to be doing/thinking/etc. And, as Christians, God has given us a specific calling in his Kingdom. But I think the tendency is, with people my age, to be thinking all about what we want to do with our lives. Where do we want to go to college, what do we want to "be when we grow up", that sort of thing. That's a good thing, we need to look towards the future. But God has put me right where he put me with things to do here and now. One of those things, as much as I hate it, is schoolwork. I've decided to try to think about that way more often. I'm not just doing this because my parents are making me or because I need to graduate, I'm doing this as an act of sacrifice and service to God who made me and put this in my life for me to do. Instead of trying to "just get done!", maybe I'll be able to find joy in it. Even though I don't really enjoy it, there can be joy found in doing something with a good attitude just to bring glory to God. Who knows? Maybe it's even possible with math.
