Well... I guess I'm due for a new post.
"Wow... I really like you like this. You're like... nice and stuff." -my sister, Michelle
That made me smile. It's so true... I have been much nicer. I haven't been on the computer nearly as much as I used to be, and I've been talking to my parents a lot more. It's kind of weird, but I really enjoy having conversations with them. My dad and I always talk about the neatest things... and I can actually focus on what he's saying and on what I can say next. I'm conversing!! I've been outside a lot more too... the weather has been really nice these last few days, so it's not a chore to take a walk or help out with yard work. I'm being the Lauren I used to be... and it's so wonderful.
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On Friday I had my physical... My doctor sat down and talked with me and gave me a some suggestions that could help myself feel better. She said to check out the Mediterranean diet, which I did... so that will get me eating well. I suggest that you check it out too. It's the diet that the countries around the Mediterranean Sea indulge in. (At first I wasn't sure if it was another type of "South Beach Diet," so just in case you didn't know... there you go.) She looked through my old files and she must have come across the one where I went for a consultation and explained the self-injury. I thought it was really kind of her to not say anything to me about the marks. She obviously saw them... they WERE there, but I suppose she figured it would only bring me more grief if she brought it up. I'm glad to know I have a doctor that cares.
She made me promise to call her every week. Geeze.
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Hmm, when I was being attacked by the nurses who do all of those tests for school and what not, I was asked a very interesting question. "Are you nervous??"
I freaked out on them... because a few people have been asking me whether or not I feel nervous. I DON"T. For the last few days, my teachers have been looking at me kind of funny. They look at me... then do a double take. Or they'll look at me and then look somewhere else, but just move their eyes back to me. I know I'm gorgeous and all... but come on... why are you doing this?? Then, I seem to have acquired the inability to look at them in the eyes. No matter which teacher it is... none of them. I'll look at them, and I'll have to squint. I must look so funny, so I just don't look at them at all... I wonder what they're wondering. Hah.
It's been frustrating the hell out of me. My neck and shoulders have been really tense lately too, so when I get paranoid from all of this attention, I think my neck may shake. Try it... tense your neck as much as you can and see if it shakes. That's what I do... involuntarily.
Anyway, back to 'being nervous' in the doctor's office. I questioned them for the reason they thought I was nervous and the main answer... my eyes were dilated. It's amazing how people notice that subconsciously too. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. I explained to my mom all of the strange things that have been happening to me lately, and she checked out the side effects of Lexapro when we got home. Apparantly, slightly dilated eyes is one of them. I did research later on and discovered that a tense neck and shoulder area was another side effect too... but these things seem to go away in time.
It's kind of neat... you can shine a light in my eyes... and they still stay pretty dilated. Haha. So why have my teachers been staring at me funny? I know that it's not in my head... POSITIVE. I suppose I look nervous... or I suppose I look like I'm a pothead. Why do I squint? When your eyes are dilated... things seem a lot brighter. Raise your head up from your desk... and you're a lot closer to the light. I wonder if I'll be called down to the office any time soon... I'm kind of showing quite a few signs of drug abuse. But me???? Think about it... come on... I'm NOT STUPID.
This is my reasoning... and I find it funny. Attaining more attention than usual makes me really paranoid, so I act weird and therefore, I have been twitching. That's a side effect too. I find it extremely interesting how all of these things started happening as soon as I started taking this. I guess nerve responsors and other various things are getting altered a little... my head needs a little time to adjust and put things back in place.
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I realize this was a very strange entry to be coming from me, but I'm guessing that future entries will be different too. I don't expect this to be at all very interesting to the person who doesn't know me personally... but for everyone who does... I'm a little different for now... whether that seems to be a positive or a negative thing to you.
Enjoy your day. | 
What an awesome thing to find out today...
