guess whos back

shadys back, tell a friend........every one went to my space.......

ill be getting comp soon, cant wait to catch everyone up

luvz  Zrystal

Gosh damn.....nobody comes here anymore!  

So much has happened in the last two months, it still doesnt feel real, drama follows me wherever I go I guess??I am not living in Texarkana anymore, work was like impossible to get, and I have my X to thank for that, I mean he did leave us without a way to go and he never let me work, so I lack the experience. I am part to blame, I allowed him to do me that way, and I am sure that it didnt help matters when I had to take my kids with me to job hunt or interviews because the X wouldnt bother to watch them, but then again, anything I try to do to better myself seems like it just gets under his skin and thats why he tends to act that way.   But anyhow, I tried........even though a certain someone didnt think so, I mean, in less than two months I applied all over the place in Texarkana when a ride was available to me, I applied for government assistance and put damn near 400.00 dollars in groceries inside that apartment. I handed over 250.00 dollars in cash, 200.00 of that was my child support, and I never complained not once,  the only thing I asked for in all that was ciggs.  I cleaned the apartment everyday, I had supper on the table waiting damn near everynight, I washed not only my clothes but hers as well.. and on top of all that.....I was taking care of my kids, so yeah, when my neighbors invite me over for a drink I would go, and I would have a good time. Not once did I have to BUM anything as someone would tell my sister. I do believe it may be called an INVITATION, you know, when someone ASKS you to come.  Me and the boys met some very special people in Texarkana, and we have all become really goods friends, so why would I deny going over to their houses just because she didnt like it? If my kids were being neglected than I could see her point of view, or if I hadnt put forth an effort at all in getting work, then I would understand and bla bla bla.... so in my opinion, dont hate on me just because I am social, and dont dog on me just because they were social back, and dont talk shit behind my back because I refuse to be controlled, my divorce was final last month, so as of then, I control myself, no one controls me..... But what this all boils down to...... (pay attention)........TRUST......... she invited me in her home, but she didnt trust me,  she allowed me to stay for almost two months, but she didnt trust me,  why? the hell if I know, I have never given her any reason to not trust me, ever! and all she can come up with is that people have done her wrong in her past friendships so therefore she doesnt trust ME and she even said she resents me because of that! well let me break off a little somethin' somethin' ......I have had a hard knock life myself, I have been beaten', starved, neglected, pushed around, cheated on, etc. etc. you name it, but you dont see me holding that against anyone. So just watch out with who you room up with these days, you might just get your ass kicked out for visiting a friend your roomie introduced you to in the first place, like I did.  And I know what  she says would completly be opposite from my view because she tried telling it her way to my family members behind my back, I was shocked at the things I heard.   who should be the one with a trust issue now?  I am thankful for the roof she gave to me and the boys for the month and a half, and I still love her no matter what, but I feel I did contribute enough to earn my keep, for what little we stayed. So there it is y'all, another hard lesson learned, never trust the ones who dont trust you, and live the days even better than the last without looking back at the shit that hurts you, thats what I did...and I am in Branson now with my family......nothing will bring me down now.  gotbeer