| | Some UpdatesSo I'm leaving Wal-Mart, and I see a shirt that said "Made in Ireland," and I started thinking. Isn't "Notre Dame" French for Our Lady, but isn't Notre Dame the Fighting Irish (I have a weird chain of thoughts if you haven't figured that out yet)? Then I thought that it would probably be less honorable if they were the Fighting French. What if they were?
I can see one of two things happening during a football game:
1. The opposing team's offence would go through a small neutral country, and ND would surrender unconditionally, or
2."I fart in your general direction," "I'm French. Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king," "You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries," and "I wave my private parts at your aunties."
THANK GOD THEY'RE IRISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Second, today is a good day. My dad went to give a deposition and my mother's husband (I don't like to admit any relation to him because he's a jerk) was there to do the same. But anyway, a gun discharged in my mom's house feet away from my little brother while my stepfather was holding it. He is the police chief of Phillipsburg and he didn't file a police report, and my dad's lawyer made him look like an idiot. That's not even the best part! Mr. Moore, my dad's lawyer, is a former prosecutor for one of the surrounding counties. He is personally going after my stepfather. This could be a felony. If you think my heart is black and calloused for taking immense joy in this wonderful development, you don't understand how much pain he put me through.
Third, my new ringtone:
"Answer the phone, or put it on vibrate. Seriously, that’s rude. You could be at dinner or at the movie or something and the phone’s like Brirr, Brirr, and it ruins the movie for everyone or maybe it ruins their, ya know, their bruschetta or their, uh, cheese platter. Ya know, it would be a terrible thing, ya know, you wouldn’t want someone ruining your cheese platter or your…" |
