Hello Jounral <3

I recently told my girlfriend about my plans on eventually maybe using hormones, she thought it was a little bit strange, but she told me that she would support me no matter what, but not to become to much like a girl, because she started dateing guys for a reason.

I need to get a licence, its about time I got one. It will be nice to be able to drive out and shop by myself, instead of being all secretive about it in front of my friends, even though they know the clothes I'm buying aren't for my girlfriend. I've tooken pictures recently by my girlfriend as I'm crossdressed. Once I gain the courage to get them developed, I might post a few, =) or a least the ones that aren't sexual, lol.

I can't wait till I have a life of freedom, away from stuff like school, and image, and family, and stuff like that, and then I can be with my girlfriend and marry her, and live happy, I'm happy now, but I know in time I will be happier.

Bye for now <3

Hello Journal <3

=) Summer is here, and I have all the time in the world to do nothing but hang with friends, and be with my girlfriend. I am blessed, or maybe damned, but in a good way, my girlfriend is just so perfect for me, its mindblowing. I'm so glad I told her about my Crossdressing, she is so supportive. She dresses me up, and helps me look pretty with make up, and kisses and hugs me, and makes love with me while I'm dressed as a girl. For so long I've felt that what I do is wrong, but when I'm with her I realize that everything I do is perfect, otherwise we wouldn't work so well. I can't get over how much I love her. I stopped crossdressing for a while, but my girlfriend taught me to love myself, though loving her, theres nothing wrong with her for loving every part of me, i should learn to love myself.

I want to get a wig, I can't grow my hair out, not only will my parents look down on it knowing now that I do crossdress, but it would ruin my day life as a emo kid. I admit that its longer then most guys, hanging in my eyes, and is long and spiked up in the back, but I want it shoulder length, and if I can't get that naturally, I want to take the easy way out. I know where I can get a wig, but I'm a little bit shy about purchasing one, I am tempted to ask my girlfriend, but I already put her through hell when she bought me panties lol, imagine me and her going through racks and bin fulls, me trying to act bored, and her trying to read my eyes weather or not I like it or not, she was mad at me for not being a better help, but once she saw me in them she seemed cured of any grudges.

My hair grows to fast, I shave my legs and my privates, and the little trail of hair that leads up to my belly button, but it grows back to fast. I haven't gotten armpit hair yet, and from the way i looks I might not ever, I have a few strains, or at least had, they started to grow 3 years ago, but since I pulled them, I haven't seen anything in a long long time, so I'm hopeful. But I wish I didn't have to shave them every 3 days, its bothersome, and my parents are beginning to question why I use so many razors without actually having facial grow real facial hair yet.

This is a bit of a rant, but I felt like ranting, my life is really good right now, and everything just keeps getting better it seems. I want to buy new clothes though, but I haven't got the money, I quit my job, so I'm broke, but my girl friend lets me wear her stuff, and we're the same size, so its rather fun. She is gothic kind of, not hardcore or anything (no pericings, or tattos, or anything extreme like that) but you know the fishnets and the skirts, and the arm attachments, and bitchin make up, all very sexy in my opinion, and all stuff I love to try on and wear. But I want some more fantasy wear, for both me and her, not that anything is dull or anything like that, lol, I don't see how any of it ever could, but its always nice to be able to do a 100 different things in a day, then just a few.

Anyways, I'll end my rant, I'm happy, I wish everyone could share in my happiness, which I'm sure most will. My best advice is to be true to yourself, and to others. Secrets are important, but if its part of you, share it, otherwise you will be a lying to others, and yourself. And if your looking for love, be yourself, me and my girlfriend didn't work out well the first few months of our relationship, and it wasn't till we broke up that I was honest, and now we are perfect, and I feel great.

Bye For Now <3

Dear Jounral,

Well I'm back. My parents discovered this web site, and also all my clothes, so I had to abandon this site for a while. I'm not to sure if they are checking this, but I'll make a post anyways.

My mother wasn't all to happy about it, she was the one who discovered the clothes. I then afterwards told my father, he wasn't to happy about it either. I guess in the end they wish I wasn't a crossdresser, I don't know much after that.

I did an survey and essay at school about cross dressing, it was kind of incriminating, but I don't really care. I found out that guys are actually more tolerent to cross dressing then girls are, I got a lot of nasty comments from different girls saying that cross dressing is wrong, and its only done by weak men, and men have no right to be weak, it was definitly interesting.

I kind of stopped cross dressing. I guess my parents might be happy, though I won't tell them. I don't know why I stopped, only that I don't really have this huge need to do it anymore. I guess in a way by finding my stuff even though they didn't take it away, they kind of took away my desire to do it. I think it might have something to do with the fact that I liked doing in private, only shared the idea with a few friends, but now that my family knows I'm ashamed of it... I don't know if I should be or not, but I just haven't had it in me to cross dress lately.

My mom talked to me about cross dressing, and I kind of told her off a bit. I told her she was over dramatizing it, that I was still her son, and that clothes were clothes. I don't know if thats true, if clothes were clothes then I probably wouldn't have such a fantasy over being dressed as a girl. But I told her that it didn't make me any different. So yea.

I donno. I'm a litte depressed now. Over what I don't know, but I am. This isn't something that will go away. Maybe when I move out I might start again, but for now I just don't know if I can do it, knowing that my parents know.

Anyways, thats about it.

Bye for now <3

Hello Journal <3

Well tomorrow is the big day, first chance I get to dress completely for my girl friend. I'm a bit nervous, actually a lot. I'm almost curtain we will make love, just thinking about it makes me excited, but to keep in PG I'll just say its something I've always wanted to do. I'm not to sure what I'm going to wear when it happens, she warned me that its a possible chance that upon seeing me for the first time dressed in girls clothing, she might just have to take me right then, lol, so I better choose something I really like first, something special, this being my first time having sex willingly as a girl. I think I already know what, so we'll see.

I've told 5 people now, the last friend being gay, he thought it was really cool, and spent the rest of the time imagining me in girls clothing, with a small smile on his face. Since its slowly coming out, I'm going to have my girl friend take some pictures, not this sunday, lol, since we might not have time for that, but soon. But yea, I'm slowly coming out, and so far all my good friends know, besides for two, who both happen to be in the navy. But I'm starting to feel a lot more comfortable, and maybe I'll put a face to these words, we'll see.

My girl friend asigned me homework asignments to help me be more girly, and her first was to notice girls shoes, lol. I've never been one for footwear, maybe because it would be harder to hide, but I've never had any girl shoes, so I never took an interest. Upon telling her that, she told me we'd have to change that at once, saying I can't rightly call myself a girl, if I'm not obessed with shoes, so like a good girl I've been keeping tabs, writing down shoes I like, and don't like, catching brand names, and what not, to better myself into girl hood. The next thing shes going to do is teach me how to do make up, I know a little bit from the girlfriends I've had in the past by studying them, but I don't know everything, shes going to show me how to do it, and do it compentently, because she said if i'm going to marry her and be a girl, shes not going to help me do my makeup all the time.

I'm happy, for once in my life I can say that, I have friends who accept me, and a girlfriend who loves me for everything I am. I never thought it would happen, I thought I would be myserable till I moved out, and had to start over again a new life as some outcast, I was wrong, and that makes me happy, I don't pretend to know the future, but for once I look forward to it, and that is a possitive change.

Bye for now <3

Hello Journal <3

Things are going good, my best friend came down from college, and I finally told him about my crossdressing, and although he wasn't the biggest fan of it, he told me he didn't care, he mentioned the fact that I can no longer go into detail about me and Tessa's new crossdressing sex life, lol, but its not like I ever did in the first place, lol, so yay! He told me he was suprized, and asked a lot of questions, he was the same guy who used to say that I was the last person on earth to think was gay, and he still thinks that regardless that I'm bi, and mostly attracted to guys, he also said I should have told him eariler, because the whole thing didn't seem like a big deal to him, and he was afraid I was going to tell him that Tessa was pregant, or that I had AIDs.

There was a closing sale at the mall yesterday, so everything was like 75% off, so I snuck away from my friends and bought nearly $300 wore of clothing. The onld disapointment was this prom dress I bought, it was the one I wanted the most, but when I got home at first I thought it wouldn't fit, but then I realized that I hadn't zipped it down all the way, but when i tried to zip it back up, it couldn't get the last 6 inches, so I might have to go get it altered, which means I'll probably tell another one of my friends about my crossdressing, its a girl I know who I've been friend with a long time, used to be one of my friends girl friend, but they broke up, she works with her family at a dry cleaning place, and they do alterations, so I'll see what happens I guess. I probably bought at least 16 things in tottal, plus some really random things like panties, and stockings, I can't wait for this Sunday, because I'm going to go over to my girl friends house, and show her everything I bought and, lol, probably going to make passionate love, lol, because since I've told her, I've been longing for her to see me fully dressed, and shes been longing to make love to me as a girl, so definitaly looking forward to that.

Today went great, I got to wear a pair of my new panties, and felt really confident, so I was able to do well in class, so yea, I donno, I'm happy, I'm in love, and everything is going good. I've been talking about strap on stuff with my girlfriend, since I made it clear to her that I'm a huge fan of being penetrated and giving blow jobs, she told me she was up for it, though she doesn't want to me to do her the same way, but she would take a lot of pleasure in "dominating" me, as I lie there helpless in stroking myself in drag, or watching me on my knees going at it passionatly with a dildo. I realized that I am in love with a complete freak, but I guess she can say the same about me, we complement eachother in all our once considered flaws, she liked girls more then guys, but wanted to be with a guy, I was a crossdress who could bridge that gap, so I guess you can say were perfect for eachother. I don't think I can meet another one like her, and I don't plan to, I plan to marry her, though unfortunatly she will be the one wearing the dress, but she promised me that afterwards if we still are the same size, I can wear it while she fucks me, lol, god my life seems perfect.

Well I got to get going, my parents are out once agian, and I'm going to start dressing while talking to my girlfriend, a new thing that is really fun, because she demands me to do stuff while dressed, its really... lol, exciting.

Bye for now <3