my biggest fear:

"Tears and fears and feeling proud,
to say "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds,
I've looked at life that way.
But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I've changed
But something's lost when something's gained
In living every day

I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all"

como triste me pone, como solo soy

up til 3 doing things i wont disclose, woken up at 5 to 9 to go to swim practice with no time to eat... two hours of swim practice... that was over, nicole asked if i was staying and i hadnt planned on it. matt picked me up so i asked if he could take me back after i eat lunch quick, he said probably not..i asked if he could spare a minute and take me back after we got home and that was fine.. so i threw my things together for the day, forgetting a green sharpie, and went back to the pool and hung out with my favorite person all day. played a lot of guess who and i dominated until this kid stole my question, and i like playing a question can only be asked once per game between the players. sat around and talked of a lot of important things and whatnot-- and why its been taking me forever to read letters from a stoic. naturally, talked of omaha and her trip to the beach this past week.
she said her mom told her that she could throw me a party 'cause im going into the military and wont see anyone for a while- which surprised me cos i dont know how well her mom knows me. but shes doing that so im excited. swim meet went well, jess came. didnt do too well, but i havent been swimming in however long its been. i mean i still won my events, but they werent good swims at all.

tomorrow i may or may not do the same thing... but i'll take marvel guess who. i may play tennis with bobby mow if i can.

all in all, today was probably my favorite day of summer so far. but i miss adam terribly.

and i talked to mark today, which has been long overdue! he's-a probably help get me in better shape before basic.

though i guess i had fun in omaha, it is good to be home.
timmy is by far the stupidest kid ive ever gone anywhere with, for various reasons (at least 2 and a half dozen).

omaha sucks. 14 deads birds that we saw final count.
swimming was pretty sweet, but on the flight home i was reading Seneca and found a quote I'll use to describe how i feel about the olympics:

"wherever you look your eye will light on things that might stand out if everything around them were not of equal standard."

lady on the first plane home thought i was studying for the PCAT and that gave me a good chuckle. dude on the second plane home was south american of some nature and reading a book by gabriel garcia marquez (an author who's one work we read in spanish v). if i didnt feel akward talking to people, i'd've taken advantage of the mopportunity to practice my spanish in a real life situation. oh well, i dont care about spanish anyway.

came home and found my final transcript on the kitchen table. kinda pissed about it-- in a graduating class of 409, with 13 valedictorians, im ranked #12. fucking valedictorian statue determined mid-year makes 'valedictorians' out of at leasr two people who arent, because i out-rank them with a 3.99. i want my goddamn ap scores.

three swim meets this week, im going to try to get to practice each morning before i leave for the beach on... friday? until the 20th. i hope i can beat timmy for the individual spot at champs.

i need to get out of here.

watched some olympic swimming trials today.
pre-lim.'s were kinda boring, with like 12 heats of women's 800 free and 12 more for womens 200 back.
men's 50 free was ridiculous. there was some black dude in heat like 13 of 16 and we were like "black person??" but then he ended up with a 21.59, long course yards... and broke an american record. so... yeah

wandered around downtown omaha for a couple hours, which was awful.

finals from yesterdays pre-lims and semi's... and todays semi's... men's 200 back was a race between the 2004 olympic gold medal winner and the current world record holder-- 2004 medal winner won by .02 seconds, and tied the world record. that was the most intense race ive ever seen. then there was the 200 IM where the guy who just got 2nd in the 200 back was giving phelps a race, lost by ~.4, but phelps broke his old world record in that.

started walking back to the hotel to save on taxi fare cos theyre expensive as all getout, found what we believe to be the omaha ghetto and was like, no we'll call for it now.

and there was a point in the finals tonight, since it was the 4th, where they asked armed force members to stand up to be recognized. and you better believe i did, haha. and dumbass timmy did too cos he didnt hear what to stand up for and saw i stood up- so i yelled at him like we've been the whole time and he flipped out. it was wuite funny.

and got a free t-shirt. and took another guy's free t-shirt