| cadet log time 23:51 I find my friends slowly turning into my enemies one by one I seem not to trust at all. I feel trapped in my own world and there's no escaping it. I need to move I need to be free the friends I have I need to change. everything I thatt once tied me down to this place has loose connections. It's now saddening me to have missed my chance a long time ago. Never trust a female is being imprinted into my hand and heart as the pain slowly eats away at my mind. A thought a beckoning is on a horizon though I hope there for I go on and wish to nurture and grow something soon. all I want in life anymore is to leave a small legecy in my name before I die. |
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| cadet log time 2133
well I'm tired, sad and angry at myself again. tis weekend was a big munstrum of confusion with flaky wishes and slow moving people. the shore gets boring in 2 hours flat and then all the argueing comes. well that's all I can pt on te subject but life never really clears up for oyu I've found.
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| cadet log time: 1933
Summer back I have three hours of school left of straight tests and all I can think about is the hot summer nights. last year I made a mess of then pinning over lost love and finding a troubling inthe end of it all anyways. I don't know what to do as my first fret being money and a severe leak there of. I really ponder some times on the thoughts of droping this cadet title I have now and getting a reall soldier title becaus eof that pronblem. I can't stand school I hate sitting indoors and looking at books I don't enjoy doing basicly nothing all the time I really want to explore the world as a big field trip to get sent off to places people don't even know where and all for free. I don't know though if inthe end I'd really ever want to return to what I'm doing now and get that specail bar on my shoulder. thinking of the present though I'm really wonderign what to do for this sumers job as I have three choices. I think I have to find out what the frist one says before thinking of the other two which are just seasonal jobs. lastley as I'm up for change I need to think about who I should spend time with this summer as my old friends are starting to drive me crazy. it's almost a bad thing to say but it's been stuffy and not enough running outdoorness with my usaul crew. So log this is me and my rambling thoughts, it's time to sign out now.
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| cadet log time: 0224
after all the probems of this semester I final found a small footing that is until she rolled back in town. I don't know what to do with my self again as I loose control and start to drift. studying is a slowly accuring thing and it's scary to think I'm not goign to make it as I had always just made it. I think I've hint my limits on coasting and now it's time to climb. I think I need to clear my mind.
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| cadet log time: 0049
I had to break off the first of my flings today, wasn' t to cool. though it was truelly problematic I don't want to the drama to occure. but again looking to the future it's going to be a better day even in the rain as I farwell that love of mine.
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