DNeverEndingMom's Xanga

Conference Call

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 04:29:37 GMT

I love it when God confirms things in a persons life. I went to the Beth Moore conference this past weekend. It was such a blessing. Several ladies from my church and others in the area, hopped on a bus and took off to Nashville. I was able to meet some women in the church that I had only seen from a distance. They were amazing. We had Bible study on the way. We loved and laughed with each other. My Sister and Mom went too. Speaking of which. My Mom needs alot of prayer right now. She is getting so far away from the Lord at the moment. Any fruits we may have caught a glimpse of before are gone. I am scared that she has just been playing the church game. I pray that is not the case.

My sister learned alot. The message the women at the conference gave us set us free. Praise God!!! To HIM be the glory!!! She has finally realized that if God has forgiven you, and called you back to HIS ministry, that you are only letting Satan hamper Gods goodness when you continue to roll around in guilt. The message impowered us both. I am trusting that Gods message will not come back void with my mom. Seeing alllllll those women praising God. Loving Him, and Reaching out for HIM. It was amazing. I never really thought of how big my family was in Christ until I saw over 23,000 women lifting their voices to praise HIM.

When I was at church this past sunday... I just sat back and watched my family from the choir loft. They are funny. The older women were the worst. LOL. They were irritating the young children then shushing them. A bit honery, yes, but it was precious at the same time. I saw the love of wives for their husbands. The women would be leaning back on their husbands, or vice versa, and soaking in the WORD that was preached. I finally just watched... With the love for my family GOD has given me. They are my family, HE adopted them as well as me. It is just amazing.

Next time you are in church. Just look around. They are your spiritual family. Your adopted siblings. HEHE. I am adopted, I am a special kid you see, I am proud to be a member, of the royal family.

I don't understand

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 20:18:18 GMT

I know we are not supposed to put our trust in man. I am in pain right now. God is Good! He is always Good. I feel betrayed. I really do. I was approached and hurt by words said. Rhonda and I will not be singing a duet. She didn't even want to try it out for a bit. I know, if she did, she would have had the solo. It is the whole bowing to authority thing. Yes, that means I got the solo. Completely. No duet. I hate that she was hurt though. She is going through so much. I just cry at the descension that is going on right now. I am being shunned, ignored, laughed at. If I was so horrible, would I have been given the part? Johnny is a perfectionist. I know God has changed my voice for just this song. God speaks to me through this song. I have been the outcast all my life. I never fit in. That was in the "world" though. This is my church family. There are some women trying to lift me up. They are loving on me and encouraging me. I just really hurt over the 3 that are treating me like trash. I really was bonding with one of them. She was someone I looked up to. I still pray for her. I love her. I just feel hurt seeing the maliciousness in my sisters. It makes me doubt myself. I know that is not of God. Satan is having fun with me right now. I hate it when he uses Gods family to strike at the heart of a person. I know what I have to do. Pray, read, trust in God. That is a given. The pain is still there. I know no one reads this, so its all good.

Wow, I wasn't expecting that

Thu, 17 May 2007 20:24:17 GMT

Before I get to the wow. I will make another log in my site about the growth of my kids. Ajay is now 9 years old. I measured him a week ago and he was 4'7". Robert is now 4'2 1/2". He is catching up with his brother. He scares me. Also on log. Ajay is getting a darker mustache. Robert is asserting himself more. They are growing sooo fast. Ajay past his pre-algebra test. Yes, I said pre-algebra. He is awesome at math. If he can get it, why should I slow him down? Tiffany is in algebra and is ready for geometry. She loves math too. Robert? Goodness, that boy doesn't want to read because his brother and sister will do it for him. He just doesn't want to. Unless he is reading a sign on the highway and wants to go to the place advertised.

Socks is now one year old. He was the black kitten that I fed and took care of when his mom left him. Wayne told me that he did not want another indoor cat and he would be strickly outdoors. I wasn't even allowed to bring him in. Well, Wayne brought him in in November and he has been inside ever since. So much so that he was neutered and declawed. What gets me is that "I" was the one to love on him daily. "I" was the one who fed him. "I" played with him because he was wild. Now whos cat do you think he is? Waynes! Thats who! So, not fair.

Ohhhhh, I have an answered prayer. God is good. Even though my cat leaves and forsakes me, God will still love me and be there for me. I prayed that if He truly wanted me to sing solo that He would allow me to sing with Rhonda. She is a beautiful singer. She can sing soul and reverent and just bring it on the fast and fun songs. I figured that if I am not in the praise team, and have no experience in front of a microphone. That it would maybe be easier if I were to do a duet with one of our best singers. That way it is not just me. Well, Wayne signed me up to try for a solo. He told me he wanted me to try it because it is fast and he wants to hear me sing out. SO, out of obedience to my husband I practiced, and practiced. I tried out for him, but he told me I was still signed up to tryout at the church. Well, I tried out. Out of obedience mind you. I never would have thought of singing this song because I don't have the right voice for it. I was wrong. Our music teacher made the solo a duet. She does the soulful parts and I get the booming, high parts. I was not expecting this. I am still numb. I am rotating between weeping in awe of Gods plan and just not believing He would choose me. I am nothing to look at. I am not near as faithful as I should be. Yet, He keeps changing my voice and allowing me to tap into His strength.

I am going to go cry now. I will talk to you later. God Bless and know you are in my prayers dad. I am making these notations for you and me. Love you, Ann

Its Been a While

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 22:30:09 GMT

To all moms out there with teenagers... I have good news. God still loves you. LOL. This is not the end. I would like to suggest a book that has completely turned my little girl around, "Understanding Every Young Girls Battle". They have one for men and women and teen boys. I do not know who the author is now, but they have several crowns waiting for them in heaven. I am also working with a book called "Respectful Kids" by Dr. Rodd Cartmell. It explains how to bring the best out in your kids. They are good christian books that are OHHHH so helpful.

I am writing this part as more of a marker in time than anything. Tiffany, who is not yet 13, is now taller than me. Not by much though. I can still take her down. HEHE. She is 5'7". Ajay, he will be 9 in May, is now right at 4'6". Only a foot to go to be around my height. Robert is only 5" shy of his brothers height. It is scary because he is only 6 yrs old. The boys are skinny. I can't keep them fed. They eat all day long and gain absolutely NO weight. It is sad when a single little boy can eat as much as you and your hubby. For breakfast alone they will eat 2 bowls of cereal, toast, an apple, an orange, sometimes and egg and still be hungry. I have to stock all the houses we visit because my kids eat all the time. They clean out friend and family frigerators.

Ajay lost another tooth. Robert hasn't lost any yet. I am expecting that by Christmas we will be able to teach him the "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth" song. HEHE. Can't wait myself. God is good! So far I have gotten to teach the others that song because they lost their teeth by Christmas. Tiff tried to whistle through it and Ajay just slapped his forehead and said " Mom... thats not very funny you know." I thought it was. He is such a stick in the mud anyway. HEHE. Until he turns your words around and says "Oh, Burn!". He is a hoot at times. Robert is my little sister incarnate, with a loving heart. They were sitting next to each other the other night. He could be her child. They look so much alike. Then he squinted his eyes and looked at her. She did the same back and told him " I don't know what your about to do, but its not good." About that time he gets up to fix her hair. NOT! He roughs it up and messes it into her face. Then decided to get some weeds and grass and rub in there. Well, that started a cat and mouse game.

God Is Awesome

Fri, 02 Feb 2007 16:17:22 GMT

God just totally blew me away last week. My prayers were answered. My hubby made it safe and didn't have to drive alone. He called me Tuesday night and 6pm to tell me that some of the guys were taking their wives and kids. That the hotel was cool with it. (Now mind you he was leaving out the night he called around midnight). He asked me to call the hotels and check if it would be okay to bring the kids and how much more it would cost. The hotel in St. Augustine said only $10 more. Because we would have 5 not 4 people in the room. That was doable. So we called the main hotel in Jacksonville. They switched our rooms with NO extra cost. Now, I know it wasn't a second honeymoon and we didn't get time alone, but we were together.

As it happened.I was able to make all the changes by phone in 30min.(By the grace of God) Then had to get the kids ready to go to town. My tire on my vehicle blew the night before and I had to fix it, get an oil change and try to get a transmission leak under control enough to drive the van not hubby's car.I finally got home from that around 8:30 pm. I had right at an hour to pack for me and the kids to go on the trip. God is soooo good. He totally handled everything. We missed the icy front that was supposed to be in Georgia and Mississippi. It looked like it sprinkled in some parts, but was clear.

When we got there we enjoyed one of the best seafood places, museums and the beach. Though the tide kept pushing us inland, we got some really neat shells. All different kinds that the kids and I will be investigating. Also, we found a vertibrae. I will be looking it up soon to see if it is dolphin or not. But it is definately a vertibrae. It has the holes for the nerves and spinal cord.

It is snowy out today. We went outside to investigate all the prints then for play. We found little fawn prints on our front porch. The momma was a little further away, but they were there. From there we found that they go around the side of the house and bed down beside the house in the brush. Then,they leave across the back of the house and into the woods. We figure they do this because Wayne is up early in the morning and they feel safer leaving out the back than going in the front of the house. Now we are going to get up early to see if we can see them. At least the boys and I will. Tiff just wants to shoot and eat bambi. LOL. She is still convicted people. Praise God. And when she feels like it never happened, she feels even worse. I see fruit again. I haven't seen that from her since Aug. of last year.I will talk to you all later. Thank you for your prayers.

Whats New????

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 18:08:58 GMT

Wow, alot. Thanks for asking. In my last entry I said I was watching people about to fall. Well, one of them sure did. My daughter decided to run away. She and her friend have been bucking us (me and friends mother) for the last 3 months. We have been trying to explain about modesty and what God expects from his daughters. Well, they dressed in their mini-skirts and snuck out at 2am. I thank God that he had some really large dogs follow them. The dogs held the 2 vehicles of guys off. If they hadn't been there the girls would probably have been raped. They were running away to a guys house. Just them, their 2 sets of clothes, and 60 cents. They made it 6 miles before they realized they made a very bad decision. They went to call home and the payphone was missing. They prayed and God sent them a mail-lady with a cell phone. Wayne (my hubby) picked them up and I called the girls parents to come help me waylay them when he got back.

We didn't whoop them. Though we wanted to. God told us that he would do that and for us to love and instruct them. I tell you what. I am glad I listened to God. He whooped up on them better than I ever could. A whoopin from us may have lasted 10 min., but God's has lasted 4 days. Both girls have really sore feet. Mine doesn't have the blisters like her friend, but she wore a thong and a mini-skirt. Thats right ladies... chaffing from hell. HEHEHE. Her thighs and her crack. LOL. God is good. I think I like him whoopin up on my daughter better.

Whats even better? Sunday morning God placed it on our pastors heart to preach on something that really convicted her. It was on the lame man at Bethseda. Jesus forgave him and healed him and in the end the man betrayed Jesus. The man didn't even tell Jesus thank you. He just took off. That is when the preacher told us to stand. That even Jesus was not thanked and was not appreciated for his works. We are to stand and even though He knew the man would betray him at some point, Jesus still forgave and healed. We are to do the same for our prodigal sons and daughters. At least, that is what God gave me from the message. That evening was a message on healing and standing strong. The choir sang "My life is In Your Hands." That was healing for me and my husband.

Please pray for my daughter to continue to stay convicted. For her to learn that running away from your problems is not placing it in Gods hands and trusting him. Also, pray for me to continue to not be bitter. My husband and I were going on an all expense paid competition for his work. We were going to have our 9 year anniversary celebration there. We were looking forward to spending time together alone. Now he has to drive 16 hours alone and I have to stay home with the kids. I do not want to be bitter, I am trying not to dwell on the stuff we had planned to do. This is his last opportunity to go on one of these trips. They even have a banquet night with dancing and $150 plates. All paid for through his work. With a one income house this wouldn't be possible for us any other way. I need you to pray for his traveling. He is leaving out at 1am tonight. We haven't been apart for this long ever. I feel like I am loosing my other half. I am so sad.

Thank you my friends, Ann

Praise and Prayer

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 18:29:40 GMT

Hi all! A group from our church just returned from "The Way of the Cross" in Texas. The WTC goes into Mexico and evangelizes to the people in the poorer areas. There were over 5,000 souls saved on that trip. The people were loving and their hearts were ready for the Word of God. Praise you Jesus for the harvest you gave that day!

I say all that, not just to give God the praise, but to ask for your prayers for the group that went. Now that they have hit the pentical of the mountain top and seen Gods glory, Satan is about to mess with their lives. Please pray for them. They will be going through alot now. Satan does not want a Christian to continue to be fired up for Christ. He wants a defeated Christian.

Now with that said, I need prayer for my father-in-law (Robert). He had a biopsy done on his nose. It has returned cancerous. He is a wonderful, Godly man. He needs the comfort of alot of prayers though. Cancer is a very scarey word. The doctors do not believe that there will be a problem getting all the mass. Still, he needs a prayer for comfort and healing. Especially healing since he is diabetic.

On to me. I need prayers to let go. I keep seeing the people around me getting so close to the cliffs edge that they are going to fall. I want to snatch them back, but I know that I can't. I have to let them fall and let God lift them up and bring them back to him. It is still hard. When I see someone coming so close to ruining the relationships around them, I want to step in. God is teaching me to let them go and let Him handle it. It is especially hard because I now have a 13 yr. old daughter. I see what is about to happen. She is about to be so hurt, but I guess it is a lesson to be learned. Even a 2 yr. old doesn't know what hot means until he touches the oven or a coffee cup. It puts a whole new meaning to "Let Him increase and myself decrease." I have to let Him handle their lives and I have to step back. He is better at raising kids anyway. Look at Jesus.

More of my Boring Life

Wed, 27 Dec 2006 04:19:14 GMT

Had an uneventful Christmas. I tried to text or call a couple to wish them well and let them know I didn't forget them. It was actually pretty boring this year. We bought the kids a Game Cube so we didn't get much of board games going. Pretty much all those over wanted to sleep, or watch a movie. We finally got a rousing game of Pinochle going. Me, my Hubby, his Dad and my Bro-in-law. The only people alive I guess. I couldn't even blame it on turkey. We didn't have any. I didn't even get around to putting up a tree this year. Between the homeschooling and the kids off doing their own thing... I didn't have help, so didn't put it up. I know, bah humbug. HEHE. I figure it is a family thing, why should I be the only one to put it up? That was all on Christmas Eve.

Christmas Eve morning wasn't boring though. The childrens choir sang for us and we (the choir) joined in. The message explained alot about the story of Jesus' birth. Like the fact that each town had a flock of sheep and shepherds watching them near the town. These were the sheep used in the sacrifices unto the Lord. The other shepherds were to go far from town and into the wilderness with their flocks. Now, for the shepherds to see Jesus that night they had to be close. Can you imagine it? The men sent to look after the sacrificial lambs leaving their posts to look over The Ultimate Lamb of God. It just amazes me how God works. Isn't he Good? I was just so sucker punched by his sermon. He also preached on Gods gift to us. Not only Jesus, but the gifts he gives us to do His will for His glory. If we don't use it for His Glory we are tossing it back at him.

Well, I am looking forward now to January. I will need prayer. Lots of it. Being the wallflower I am this is a hard calling. I need to turn my Fear to Faith. Faith in the strength of Jesus in me. I am still having problems with trusting what the Lord can do through me. I am still amazed He wants to use me. Anyhow, I will be trying for the Praise Team in January. Please, pray for my strength to grow and my fear to turn to faith. I will also be trying out for another song. I will not give up until God tells me enough. I figure I will just grow stronger with each failure: Not in myself, but in Gods use of me.

My Sister and Friend are on the mission field this week. She is already under attack. She just called having sugar problems. Mom and Dad are there too. They live at the mission center. My sister took 2 lost people with her so that they can here Gods word preached on a bidaily schedule. Also, so they can join going over into Mexico to witness to people. Please pray for a harvest. The people in these areas are starving. Body and soul. Pray that there are true salvations and that a seed is planted in these 2 friends she took. There names are Melinda and Michael. Also, pray for her neice and nephew. One is saved the other not so much. She is very selfish and believes she should be the center of all. I just pray that she will realize how fortunate she is and is touched to the point of wanting to help others. I just pray for a missions heart in these children. I know how well children can be used in the mission field. They have their own language it seems.

Sorry I was sooo lengthy, L8r all

The Time is Here and Now

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 05:34:56 GMT

Well, I don't need to take my sis to Baskin Robbins. Johnny has revitalized the song "For Every Mountain." He is bringing it back. I tried for a solo for the Christmas special. A song I hadn't heard in four years and didn't get the c.d. for to practice. I had been sick and so didn't know till tonight. I didn't freeze like last time. My husband, who is quick to tell the truth even though it hurts, actually gave me a good report. Said I actually stood a chance of getting the part. You have NO idea how encouraging it is from him. He is not the kind of man to tell you you have a chance if you don't. Let your yes mean yes and your no mean no.

I will let you all go. Thank you for your sites and uplifting. I appreciate it and feel your prayers. Love you all

I am uncomfortable here

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 16:39:35 GMT

I guess that sums it up. The title that is. The kids school is going great. I am so blessed that God has sent me another Godly woman to help me there. She has girls the same age as mine and we will be working together on Tiff's tough subjects. Science and History. A little English too. We are going to focus on the USA this year. It seems like the schools focus on the USA geography for about 5 months in 4th grade, and then the rest of school years they are memorizing the other continents. I want my kids to know about their country. I want them to know their states and presidents. Also, the contribution each president gave us. What states were ratified and when. We are mainly going to touch on Chemistry this year. So, school is going well this year. I love the new friend God has placed in my life.

Now for the uncomfiness. I am being hammered from every which way. My marriage was going great, until Satan started the attack.So, I am going to go through the "Beautiful Offering" again. I guess you only get so much out of a study at a time. It was alot to cram in. So I am going to work on it again. Different season, different stuff to remember about. Even that I can contend with. It is my feelings, I will gain control through Gods help and love.

What is making me so uncomfy is that He is calling me to do something totally out of my zone. I am afraid to be in front of people. I don't like to be seen. I guess that goes with the low self-esteem. I am in the choir, but can fool myself into believing that no one sees me past all the beautiful women there. Now God has been calling me to the solo arena. I have had the same calling in the past, but sabotaged myself by singing songs that were horrible for my voice range. So, of course I didn't get the solo. God knew it and pulled me out of choir for over a year. I hated that. He couldn't chastise me more. I love to sing His praises. Now, He has taken childrens choir from me so that I can focus on just the adult choir. I see His hand in this too. Our Music Minister was just called away. So, I understand the need to be full time in the adult choir. I also see though, and feel the calling getting stronger, to try out again for a solo. I know what song it will be for too. I love the song. I want to be a blessing for the Lord, but I am afraid. Afraid of singing in public alone, afraid of being a disgrace to Him. Please, pray for God to just fill me so much that I don't let Him down. Pray for my strength in Him. So that I will trust soley on Him.

To my sister who will be reading this. It is a song our church hasn't sang since Susan left. It is so fitting though. I can see Johnny having us relearn it. "For every mountain, you've brought me over. For every trial, you've seen me through. For every blessing, hallelujah. For this I give you praise." It is my all time favorite. Lets see if I am right about them reviving the song. LOL. If I am wrong, and it doesn't happen with in 3 months. I will take you to Baskin Robbins.