Claire

A Story of Out Come(ing)s

She was ugly. She was convinced of the fact. Ugly as dirt, her grandma liked to say. Nothing about her was pretty. Her hair was a plain straggly dirty blond color, and her eyes were grey. Not the sparkling type of eyes. Even the end of her nose turned up, giving her the appearance of looking down her nose at people all the time. Her skin was a ruddy color that didn't go with her hair and eyes at all, she was always told. Every time she looked in the mirror, she would disdainfully tap her reflection's nose and say "You are ugly, and you know it, but what can we do about it? Hm?" As always, her reflection wouldn't reply.

When her grandmother came to visit her for the first time after she was born, Claire was already two. The first thing Claire remembered her grandmother saying was, "My word, Charlotte, I knew you had a daughter, but could she possibly be any uglier? You gave her a beautiful name, but she simply doesn't live up to it!" As a very little girl, Claire wasn't at all sure what her grandma meant, but her tone of voice filled in all the gaps. When her mother didn't step in and tell her differently, Claire, not understanding the small pain filling her little stomach, went to play silently with her dolls.

Things didn't change as Claire grew up. Every time her grandma came to visit, Claire would try to hide in her room for as long as possible because the moment she'd emerge, her grandmother would find little things wrong with her. Normally her grandmother's first words would be, "Still as ugly as ever, eh child?" while her mother and father wouldn't say a thing.

It didn't help that while she was in middle and high school, her only friend was incredibly beautiful, and Claire, always thought that the reason Jess was her friend was because Claire could never compare to Jess. Jess always had no problem getting the boys to look at her and be her friend. Several even dated her, while Claire was left on the sidelines, watching Jess enjoy her friends. Claire was a social outcast, so much so that she basically didn't have a social group.

The summers of her junior and senior year in high school, Claire worked at a library. It was a quiet job and she rarely had to answer that many questions. Instead she spent time in the stacks, quietly shelving books, finding books that looked interesting, and reading them. This was where Claire found the love of her life. Books wouldn't judge her by appearance, but instead, let her lose herself in them. She read them voraciously. Because her grandfather and mother had glasses, Claire eventually found that she too needed glasses. She blamed it on the books. Her mother took her to get glasses and Claire found one more reason to hate her appearance.

Granted, Claire had occasionally thought about changing her looks, dying her hair a different color, or getting contacts, but part of her stubbornly clung to the fact that she wasn't going to be like all the other girls in her school who would change their looks to get people, more specifically guys, to notice them. She'd always found those types of girls shallow, and more then anything in the world, Claire didn't want to be shallow. So, instead, Claire would read books, try to make intelligent conversation when called upon to do so, and would try her hardest to keep from becoming shallow.

Then came the big transition between high school and college. Claire looked forward to getting into a new life, away from family and from the people in her high school. Perhaps, she thought hopefully, I will make more then just one friend. Jess wasn't going to school with her, but was going to a slightly more expensive school, out of state.

End of July rolled around and Jess insisted on spending as much time with Claire as possible. Claire didn't mind spending her free time with Jess, because it helped the days go faster and she was just a bit nervous about stepping out on her own. Often, too, her mother took her shopping for dorm supplies. Then came move-in day. The boxes and bags that accompanied her and her parents were just a little bit overwhelming to Claire. As she looked over everything in her new room for the last time, she sighed happily to herself, knowing that this was going to be her new beginning.

After she said good-bye to her parents, she sat on her new bed, staring at the other side of the room which her roommate would occupy. She hoped to high heaven that her new roommate would become her friend. They'd exchanged a couple of emails to figure out what the other one was bringing, and Claire was pretty sure that everything would turn out well. Her roommate seemed pretty nice, but Claire reminded herself that her roommate hadn't seen her in real life yet, and therefore, Claire could not get her hopes up.

As she set her side of the room up, her brain worked away at all the different scenarios that would engulf her during her first week. Everything from becoming instantly wildly popular, to going through her college life as just a number flitted through Claire's head as she finished making her bed, rearranged her dresser and finally outfitted her desk.

She was so engrossed in the task of making the tape stay in the tape dispenser that she didn't hear the door open. A startled girl's voice brought her out of her reverie and she whirled, looking for the girl who was already dumping a large box on the other bed.

"Sorry, what did you say?" Claire asked. "I was busy with the tape dispenser."

"Hi, I'm Kelly." The girl said turning around, helping her dad who had just come in with a box. "I was talking to my dad, so don't worry about it. And you're Claire?" she added, stretching her hand out in a friendly handshake.

Claire took it, thinking that she really liked this girl, and desperately hoping that the girl would like her back.

"Yes, yes, I'm Claire. Is there anything I can help with?" She offered, seeing that Kelly's dad was already heading out the door.

"That would be wonderful." Kelly said swiftly. "There's a bit more to bring up."

As Claire followed Kelly out to her van, she studied her roommate. Kelly was pretty and bouncy, and Claire, looking at Kelly, could feel herself drawing inwards. This blonde bombshell looked genuine enough to actually care about other people, and yet get all the guys to fall for her at the same time. Claire felt she had another Jess on her hands, and while she liked the idea that she might become friends with the girl, Claire didn't want high school to happen all over again.

As she piled her arms up with boxes, Kelly looked over at her.

"Isn't this weather outrageous? What type of person expects people to move heavy equipment on a hot day like this! It's like someone could have a heart attack, or heat stroke!" Then she winked at Claire.

Claire, shocked a little by Kelly's remark and then the friendly wink, managed to sputter out a small chuckle, then turn towards the dorm.

"Well, in this weather, you don't expect people to freeze to death, while going outside." Claire said, almost without thinking. Where had that remark come from? That wasn't like her normally.

Claire could almost feel Kelly grinning behind her.

"Yeah, I'd so much rather freeze then have heat stroke." She said jokingly sarcastic.

The girls entered the elevator and the trip to the fourth floor was silent. When they got to the room, both girls set the boxes on the beds, and Kelly's dad entered with the rest of the miscellaneous things that couldn't be fit in boxes.

Claire fell silent as both dad and daughter finished putting things down and then said goodbye. Claire liked the way Kelly's relationship with her dad seemed genuine. She really seemed a little disappointed to be seeing the last of him for several months. Her dad looked very proud and almost "mother-hen-ish" to have a daughter going to college for the first time.

After Kelly's dad left, Claire went about organizing her side of her room. Kelly took one long look at her and followed suit. After about thirty seconds of silence, Kelly started talking, and Claire, subsequently, went into shock. Kelly chattered away and Claire listened, still not quite comprehending why Kelly was talking to her. Didn't Kelly know that Claire was the loner here? Didn't she know that Claire didn't have a social life, and that all the lowlifes looked down on her?

As Kelly talked, Claire listened, and occasionally found herself saying something witty and wondering where it was coming from. She never said witty things. To Claire's great surprise, during the following three days before classes started, Kelly dragged Claire with her everywhere. They had orientation together, they ate lunch together, they explored the campus together, and Kelly talked. Claire thought Kelly had the most annoying habit of turning unexpectedly, in the middle of a long rant and asking Claire for her opinion. More to Claire's surprise was the fact that she actually had one.

By the time classes started, a friendship had begun. Granted, from Kelly's point of view, it was rather one sided, but Claire was beginning to hope that things would turn out for the best. When Kelly asked Claire to meet her for lunch the first day of classes, Claire was slightly surprised, but agreed readily.

Classes and a schedule of sorts, which included meeting Kelly for lunch every day, slowly sorted themselves out, and Claire, being Claire, always made sure she had brought a book with her to class. This was a good excuse, she reasoned for someone to not speak to her. She'd give herself enough time to get to class while reading a book, and one cool morning in the middle of October, because her nose was buried in a book, she felt something large and rather hard hit her. Her book flew from her hand as she stumbled backwards, into part of a body of students trying to get to class, and then she found herself sitting, partially stunned, on the ground, warm liquid trickling down between her eyes.

There was a concerned voice at her shoulder and someone was removing her glasses. The girl who was bending over her, gasped when she saw the blood trickling between Claire's eyes and dripping into her lap.

"Oh my gosh!" was the girl's reaction, and Claire was vaguely aware of the girl turning and looking over Claire's shoulder, calling an obscenity to an unknown person. "Come on, up!" The girl commanded, and because Claire didn't have her glasses, or her ability to reason at that point, she obeyed. The only fleeting thought that hit her was her book.

"Where's my book?" she asked, still only barely aware of the fact that she was bleeding profusely.

"Here, I have it." The girl said briskly. "Hold this to your face," Claire heard as her vision was blocked by masses of white tissue.

"I can't see," she mumbled feebly as she held the tissue to her face as commanded.

"Don't worry, I'll lead you. We're going to the infirmary. Now. That stupid boy," and here the girl went off again.

Claire felt a gentle tug on her arm and followed dumbly along, wondering what had happened and why in the world her head hurt so badly. When they came to a set of steps, getting up them was harder then Claire thought, even though the voice at her elbow told her where the next step was. When they finally reached the infirmary, Claire was stumbling, and the girl was practically dragging her up the stairs.

For some reason, the nurse didn't think that Claire's wound was bad enough to require immediate attention, and instead tried to get Claire to fill out medical history. The nurse insisted that this was a necessary procedure. The girl at Claire's side, who was still nameless, seemed furious. As she grabbed the paperwork and pulled Claire away to sit in the waiting area, she began calling the nurse names.

At this Claire stopped walking. "Please, please, stop. No cursing please. It hurts my head." She said in the general direction of the noise. Claire had always been of the opinion that if a person couldn't make themselves and their anger known without cursing they probably weren't educated enough, but she wasn't going to say that to this girl because the girl had been kind enough to help her with her problem.

The girl stopped and said, a bit huffily, "Come sit over here with me. We need to fill out this paperwork. It's kinda important if we're going to get you in there. What's your name?" With that, the girl launched into a veritable plethora of questions, ranging from "are you allergic to any medicines," to "have any of your family members had blank diseases," stopping only to introduce herself as Lee after she learned Claire's name.

When all the paperwork had been filled out and Claire's student ID shown to the nurse, the girls were finally brought back to a room where a different nurse appeared, took on look at Claire, still blind because of the tissue on her forehead, and crossed the room quickly. She had Claire sit on the table and took the tissue from Claire's forehead.

"You were a good friend to bring her here," the nurse told Lee and added, before giving Claire more tissue, "I'll go get the doctor. I think that needs stitches." Behind her, Lee was mumbling something about how glad she was that the stitches were paid for by tuition. Before she knew it, Claire was on her back on the table, both the doctor and the nurse standing over her. The doctor was poking and prodding at the wound, and asking her what had happened.

After Claire had explained to the best of her ability, Lee helped fill in the gaps, handing Claire's bent and broken glasses to the doctor to look at. The doctor nodded, prodded the wound a bit more and then prescribed stitches. As the doctor got ready to sew up the wound, the nurse helping him, Claire looked towards Lee and held out her hand desperately.

"Do I have to?" She asked Lee, guessing what Lee's answer was going to be.

"Yes! Of course you have to!" Lee said, right on cue. "What else is going to help that wound heal? You haven't seen it! It's nasty looking! Yes, you have to. Here, I'll hold your hand." With that, Lee got up and came over to hold Claire's hand.

Three stitches and quite a bit of blood later, Claire sat up from the table with what looked like stubble growing between her eyebrows.

Lee giggled a bit at Claire's appearance, and Claire reached up to feel her stitches, and had her hand immediately swatted away by the nurse who was trying to put a bit of gauze over the stitches.

"No touching this now, Love. You need to let it heal for at least three days before you can think of letting it air out. The doctor's prescribing some antibiotics for you that you'll have to take twice a day for about two weeks. And you might have to get new glasses."

Claire groaned. "Get new glasses? That means that I won't be able to read until I do! And I can't do homework without my glasses! What will I do?"

Lee sighed. "You'll have to find someone in your classes, or talk to the teacher about the homework, and as for seeing, I can take you to the optometrist to get your new glasses. It shouldn't be that hard."

The nurse patted Claire's hand gently as the gauze was finally secured, and told her that she could get up and go home.

Claire gripped her glasses and her, now unreadable, book tightly as Lee lead her from the room. As they left the infirmary, Claire stumbling, Lee asked her which dorm she lived in. When Claire told her, Lee took Claire by the arm and started walking her back Cleary Hall.

"You need to sleep. And rest. This has been a traumatic morning. When's your roommate coming back from classes?"

"What time is it?" Claire asked in return.

"Almost twelve o'clock. Why?"

"Crap!" Claire exclaimed. "How close are we to the cafeteria? I can't see without my glasses, and this blasted bit of gauze isn't helping matters."

"We're about 10 minutes walk. Why?"

"I'm supposed to meet her there for lunch. I do every day. She'll freak out if I don't show up. Will you take me there? You're welcome to join us."

"I'm not sure you should be meeting anyone for lunch in your present condition."

"Please?" Claire merely pleaded, not mentioning that "in your present condition" made it sound like she was pregnant.

"Fine," Lee relented.

"Thank you," Claire told her, and then fell silent, letting her lead her to the cafeteria.

Kelly experienced three things when she saw an unknown girl leading an injured Claire into the cafeteria. First she was shocked, then angered, and then she felt worry. When the girl introduced herself and told Kelly what had happened, the anger flooded back heavily, replaced almost instantly by worry when she saw Claire's peaked look. Much to Claire's relief, both Kelly and Lee hit it off at once and instantly a trio was born.

Between the two of them, Kelly and Lee managed to get Claire to eat and back to the dorm. With Claire in bed, Lee left, assuring Kelly that she'd call and make sure Claire was doing ok, and promised to meet them for lunch the next day.

About two hours after Lee left, Claire sat bolt up right, and immediately regretted it.

"My classes!" she said, moaning and holding her head. "What am I going to tell my teachers?" She asked, desperately hoping that her teachers wouldn't be terribly disappointed.

"Well, you can go to class tomorrow, and give them the slip of paper that the doctor gave you. It pretty much excuses you from class because of an injury."

"The doctor gave me a piece of paper?" Claire asked, wondering when she'd missed this.

"Yeah, Lee told me that the doctor had handed it to her as you two were walking out. She kept it for you, and then handed it to me as she left. I'll hold on to it until you're ready to use it."

Claire nodded and lay back down.

The next morning in each of her classes, once her teachers had seen the small slip of paper and the gauze still decorating Claire's forehead, they nodded sympathetically and gave Claire a list of homework due. Each class, Claire sat in back and merely listened. She didn't try to answer any questions, or to draw attention to herself and her wound, but some how, she could feel stares on her during a good part of each class time.

Saturday rolled around and Claire gratefully slipped into the peace and quietness of the weekend. Kelly, of course, had decided that the weekend was a good time to go to the optometrist in town and get Claire glasses, so off they went to get Claire new glasses. They came home with a new pair that, while not exactly screaming "look at me," seemed to accentuate the nice parts of Claire's face. Or at least that's what Kelly assured Claire when Claire put them on.

Of course, now that Claire could see, she could also do homework, and this she did readily. She'd missed the ease with which she could do homework when she could see. Of course she didn't miss the homework itself. That she'd had to do anyway. Also, Claire figured that now that she could read again, Kelly and Lee wouldn't have to overwork themselves by reading to her.

The first class Claire attended with her new glasses was her favorite class, English. She sat in the back for this class as well, but she paid attention and loved the ideas presented in the class. This particular class, she had her nose in a book as she normally did before class started. She was at least ten minutes early, and looking forward reading perhaps a chapter. However, not two minutes into the book, there came a small shuffling noise to her right. A person lowered themselves into the chair next to her and coughed. It wasn't necessarily a "sick cough" or even a "clearing my throat" cough, but more of an "I'm trying to get your attention" cough. Claire heard this, and ignored it. Perhaps she had imagined the tone of the cough. Who could possibly want to talk to her?

Much to her dismay, the cough persisted, every couple of seconds, and then suddenly her book cover was tapped with a fingernail.

"Uh," came a very distinctly male voice. "Can I, uh, talk to you?"

Claire, slowly lowered her book, slightly annoyed at being drawn from her book, but also curious as to who would want to talk to her. The male beside her took the lowering of the book as a go-ahead, and started talking.

"I'm Phillip. I, um, I wanted to apologize."

"Why?" Claire asked when no more was forthcoming.

"You don't recognize me?"

"No, should I?"

"Crap," the guy muttered. "This is going to be harder then I thought. Um, I see you got new glasses. I'm sorry for knocking you over the other day. I was in a hurry and I didn't think you were that hurt. I see you got stitches. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Claire was stunned. "Um, ok." Was about all she could stutter out.

"So, uh, yeah," the guy trialed off at Claire's halting acceptance. "What are you reading?" He asked after the silence had gotten awkward.

Claire started from her daze, and looked at her book cover. "Uh, it's a romance. I don't know that you'd like it."

"Oh," Phillip trailed off, and suddenly there was no more time for words because the professor had called the class to order.

Claire was thrown into turmoil by Phillip's question. She'd never had a guy ask her about a book before. She finally figured that he probably asked because there was nothing else to talk about and brushed it off, glad that she could now concentrate on the class.

However, as she was packing up her books after class, Phillip turned to her. "Where's your next class?"

"I don't have a class after this. I was going to the student union to read." She told him, rather reluctantly.

"Ok," He told her, falling into step beside her.

Claire pulled her book out and buried her nose in it, ignoring this guy beside her who was an anomaly in her life. Claire hated anomalies. They were so confusing. Every time she looked up to make sure she was going in the right direction, he was there, one shoulder slightly in front of her, not blocking her way, but instead almost leading her, making a path for her to walk. Why was he doing this? Surely he didn't feel bad, did he?

When they got to the student union, Claire put her book down and turned awkwardly to Phillip.

"Look, I'm not used to doing this, but I'm going to ask anyway. Why are you following me?"

Phillip's answer was more shocking then anything Claire had ever heard before.

"Can I buy you a coffee or something?"

"Excuse me?"

"Can I buy you a coffee or something?" He said again, stressing coffee.

"Why?" She asked him, still not understanding why he was asking.

"Because," he mumbled, scratching self-consciously at the back of his neck.

"I-I," Claire stumbled. She wasn't used to this, even if the guy was suffering from a guilty conscience. "I really can't." She told him, panic starting to infuse her voice. She wasn't supposed to be hanging around anyone. She was the loner. "I'm sorry, I really can't. E-even if you have a guilty conscience. Please, just leave me alone."

Phillip looked a bit hurt. Maybe it was the mention of his guilty conscience. Claire really didn't care. She just wanted to get rid of this, this thing—this person who totally threw her for a loop.

"Fine, I'll go." Phillip said, "But I really am sorry. I didn't mean to bump into you that hard." But Claire wasn't listening. She'd already thrown the book up and was walking inside the student union to her chair, where she knew no one would bother her anymore. Besides, they weren't supposed to.

By the end of the day, Claire had pushed the incident to the back of her mind and had decided that she really couldn't wait to get the stitches out. People kept looking at her as if she had a caterpillar between her eyes. At least, that's what it felt like.

During lunch the next day, Lee asked Claire if anyone had said anything about her stitches, and Claire looked at her as if she were crazy.

"Why would anyone want to say anything to me? Much less about my stitches?" She asked, completely forgetting about Phillip and his apology.

Lee sighed. "I don't know. I just thought maybe someone would have noticed."

Claire gave a small bitter snort. "Oh, believe me, no one's going to be noticing me just because of some stitches. They don't notice me anyway." She added in an undertone.

"Nonsense!" Lee objected. "Kelly and I noticed you!"

"Kelly's my roommate! She can't not notice me, and you, well, there was blood, and people notice blood. Speaking of noticing things, did you notice the preacher on the lawn today?" Claire effectively changed the subject and Kelly and Lee let it slip with a slightly aggravated glance towards each other.

Two days after the Phillip incident, Claire had to go back to English class. As she found her seat in the back of the class, her book in one hand, she made sure to refrain from glancing around the filling room. She didn't want anyone to think that she was looking for them. Two minutes after she sat down, a male body lowered itself into the desk next to her and the attention getting cough began.

Exasperated after thirty seconds, Claire threw her book on her desk and glared darkly at Phillip. "What do you want? You apologized, didn't you? What more can you want from me?"

"To show you that I'm sorry." Was Phillip's shocking reply.

"You—you want to show me that you're sorry for knocking me over?"

"Yes."

Claire was speechless.

"When do you get your stitches out?" Phillip asked.

"Um, six days." Claire replied, just a bit dazed.

"That long?"

This brought Claire back. "Well, it has to heal you know! It can't just quickly heal itself! It needed stitches. Geez." She wasn't sure why Phillip was hanging out with her, or if he was even serious about trying to show her that he was sorry, but he was annoying! Why did he ask stupid questions, and why did he constantly throw her for a loop?

Phillip huffed and fell silent as the teacher called the class to order.

When class finished, Phillip waited while Claire packed up her things, and then fell into step with her as she left the building. Once again, he walked with his shoulder slightly in front of her as she read her book. When they reached the student union, he walked up the stairs with her.

"Can I buy you a coffee or something?" He asked before she even had a chance to spit out her protests that he'd come this far with her.

"Why?" she asked, as he had expected.

"Because, you look cold."

"You might just as well have said 'I have a guilty conscience and I want to make it feel better.' Just say it!" Claire said, tiredly.

"You look cold." He told her again, and reached out to pull her towards the student union.

Claire flipped. He wasn't supposed to touch her. Nobody ever did! She yanked her arm from his hand, book slipping from her grasp at the same time. With exceptional ease, Phillip's hand shot out and caught her book in mid-air, saving it from a puddle left over from the rain the day before. Instead of handing it back, however, he looked at the cover of it and grinned.

"Give me back my book." Claire demanded holding her hand out.

Phillip looked at her, and then at her book, and then back at her.

"Nope," he said finally.

"What?" Claire was shocked. "Why?"

Phillip tucked the book under his jacket and looked at her. "Can I buy you a coffee or something?" He asked, with a meaningful glance.

"If I get coffee with you, you'll give me my book back?" Claire asked him, amazed.

"You got it. Now, come on, you look cold."

Claire huffed. "You mean I look like I want my book back."

Phillip looked at her as he held the door open. "Hmm . . . nope. You look cold. And maybe just a little bit annoyed."

Claire stepped inside the student union and was immediately greeted by a wave of warmth. That was when she realized that she was shivering.

"Wow it's nice and warm in here," she said before she realized that she had said it.

Phillip smirked. Claire almost stomped her foot, but then realized how childish that was and instead walked huffily towards the coffee shop that was ingrained in the student union. Phillip trailed behind, watching her.

Once they'd entered the coffee shop, Claire turned to Phillip. "I'd rather have a hot chocolate please."

"Ok," Was Phillip's response. "Why don't you go find a table?"

"A table? I thought all you were doing was buying me hot chocolate!"

"A table, please."

Claire growled in frustration. This was so weird.

The table was the largest one Claire could find. Phillip saw it and looked at her with amusement. When he sat down next to her, she protested.

"I got this perfectly large table just so you wouldn't have to sit next to me! Why are you doing this? Why are you tormenting me? How come you have to bump into me to notice me?"

"Am I really tormenting you?" Phillip asked, puzzled.

"I don't know, you tell me! Aren't you planning on laughing with your friends behind my back at how gullible I was to think that you were serious about trying to say 'I'm sorry'?"

"What? No! What gives you the idea that I'd do that to you?"

"I don't know, maybe the fact that almost everyone else I know has done that to me!"

Claire turned pale and clammed up as soon as she realized what she'd said. She'd never told anyone this before. Never told anyone that she knew. Claire's feet took a hold of her and she stood bolt up right and ran. Naturally, Phillip called after her, but Claire didn't care. She was glad when he let her go and when she got back to the dorm, she realized that she'd forgotten her book. Phillip still had it. Claire mentally burned the book. She never wanted to see Phillip again.

Claire blew in to the dorm room in such a frenzy that Kelly immediately asked her what was wrong.

"There is this guy!" Claire cried in aggravation. "He keeps bothering me! Asked me if he could buy me a coffee 'or something.' He's in my English class. Honestly! Why is he paying attention to me?"

Kelly looked at her. "Did he tell you why he was hanging around?"

"Well, he talked to me first to apologize to me. But after he'd done that, I figured he'd leave me alone. He hasn't yet!" Claire was so mad she was shaking.

"Is that all he's done?" Kelly asked patiently.

"No! He-he-he took my book!"

Kelly almost laughed, but at the distressed look on Claire's face she quickly hid it.

"It's almost time for lunch." Kelly said instead, looking at the clock. "Come on, let's go meet Lee."

Claire, still shaking, stood up and followed Kelly from the room.

When Lee saw Claire, who was still shaking, she immediately looked to Kelly for an answer.

"It seems she met a boy who won't leave her alone and he took her book," was Kelly's calm explanation.

"A boy?" Lee raised her eyebrow. "What's his name?" she asked, turning to Claire.

"Phillip." Claire spit out as if it were venom.

"Phillip? Really? The boy who knocked you down?" Lee asked.

"Yes!" Claire exploded. "He apologized to me about a week ago, and now he won't leave me alone! He tells me that he wants to prove to me that he's sorry!"

Lee's eyes widened. "Really? Did he really say that?"

"Yeah," Claire growled.

By this time the girls had gotten in line for food and were sitting down to a table in the corner of the cafeteria.

Then something dawned on Claire and she turned on Lee as she sat down next to her. "How'd you know he was the boy who ran into me?"

Lee did something very near akin to blushing and mumbled into her plate, "He's in one of my classes."

"He's in your class and you never told me?" Claire's eyes widened. "Did you tell him to apologize to me?"

Lee buried her face in her hands. "You weren't ever supposed to know this, but he didn't know who you were, and so I told him. He knew me from class, so he asked me why I'd cursed at him. When I told him who you were, and what he'd done to you, he realized that he had you in one of his classes. I told him to apologize to you, or I'd hurt him or something. I think he was going to anyway. I asked you if someone had asked about your stitches, and you said no, so I figured he'd chickened out. When I confronted him, he told me that he had. I believed him. I didn't expect he'd hang around."

Claire stared at her. "You told him to apologize to me? He asked who I was? Are you sure you didn't tell him to prove that he was sorry?"

Lee gave an exasperated sigh. "Yes, I'm quite sure. I didn't know he'd keep hanging around to 'prove that he was sorry'. If he's really doing that, I'd say he's serious. How'd he try to prove it to you?"

"He keeps trying to get me coffee 'or something'. He almost did today, but then he took my book and I ran."

Kelly snorted. "Geez, girl, attached to your books much?"

"Well, they were some of the only friends I had for my high school years!" Claire cried exasperated, and then paled again. What was it with her and saying unwanted things around other people today? Claire, not wanting to pull the running act again today, buried a forkful of lunch in her mouth.

Kelly and Lee looked at each other and sighed. Claire had just thrown up walls in their faces and they'd seen it.

"Well, all you have to do is get your book back from Phillip when you see him again in English." Kelly told her, purposely keeping the subject on Phillip.

"But don't you see?" Claire said, tucking her mouthful in her cheek. "I don't want to see Phillip ever again! He probably thinks I'm a moron." She turned to Lee. "You just wait, next time he sees you he'll probably give you my book so you can give it to me."

Lee snorted. "Not a chance. I'm not taking it from him if he does try. I don't think he even will though."

"Yeah, yeah," Claire said dubiously.

Shortly after lunch, Claire found herself a new book in her stack of many. Her world was almost complete again.

For the next six days she managed to completely avoid Phillip by simply ignoring him when he was near her and during class, surrounding herself with people she didn't know. By the time the sixth day came Claire was ready to get rid of her stitches and go back to being the regular Claire. Perhaps things could go back to the way they had always been, with Claire in the shadows.

Claire entered the infirmary with Kelly and Lee by her side, ready to get this over with. She'd never had stitches before, so she didn't know if they would hurt when the doctor pulled them out. Claire almost turned around and left when she saw who was waiting for them inside the waiting room.

Phillip sat in one of the chairs, elbows on his knees, hands clasped in front of him, staring at the top of the coffee table in front of him.

Claire stopped dead where she was, staring in horror at Phillip, until Kelly was dragging her forward towards the desk. It took all of Claire's strength to turn to the receptionist and tell her why she was here. Meanwhile, Phillip had seen Lee and had gotten up. Claire was extremely grateful that Phillip hadn't come over towards her. And then to her extreme consternation, Kelly started dragging her towards Phillip. Before she knew it, introductions were made all around and Kelly was gushing about how she had heard so much about Phillip and how she was sure he'd make a great friend for Claire.

The nurse came out to bring Claire back to the procedure room and saw her entourage. She immediately frowned and told Claire that she could only have one person back with her. Kelly and Lee looked at each other and, immediately, sat back down. Before Phillip could sit down, Lee swung her legs onto his chair, and set about reading a magazine. Phillip looked at Kelly who gave him a fierce glare, and turned to Claire who was watching the whole procedure with something akin to terror. Phillip shrugged at Claire and she turned on a heel, and stalked after the nurse, who seeing that the whole situation had been decided, had started towards the procedure room.

When they got to the procedure room, Claire hoisted herself up on the table, and focused all her attention on the door, purposely ignoring Phillip. The nurse had summoned the doctor and as the doctor walked into the room, Claire realized that she was shaking. Her nerves had finally kicked in and she was trembling from head to foot. The doctor looked at her, then looked at Phillip, and then looked back at her.

"You're trembling and I don't want to hurt you when I try to cut your stitches. You need to be able to sit still. Maybe your boyfriend could hold your hand."

Claire let out an aggravated snort. "He's not my boyfriend."

"Well, still," the doctor insisted, and Claire decided that she really didn't like this doctor.

Phillip looked large and awkward as he got up out of his chair and came over to the table where Claire was sitting and hopped up next to her. As he took one of her hands in his, his arm snaked around her waist pulling her close. Claire stiffened and sat completely still. She did not like this.

The doctor nodded approvingly and came at her with the scissors and tweezers.

The next five minutes were the most awkward of her entire life, Claire later decided. As the doctor snipped her stitches and pulled them gently from the wound, dabbing here and there at the little drops of blood that came with pulling the stitches out, Claire sat there, rigid in the crook of Phillip's arm as he held her gently.

"Do you want a band-aid?" the doctor finally asked and Claire shook her head.

"I'm fine. Can I go now?"

"Yes, but make sure to check out first!"

Claire was completely relieved to hop down off that table and yank her hand away from Phillip's. She was going to kill those girls if it was the last thing she did.

As soon as they were away from the infirmary, Claire rounded on the girls.

"Why did you put me through that? Do you know what the doctor did to me? He had Phillip hold my hand, and while holding my hand, Phillip decided that he was going to put his arm around me too!"

Both Kelly and Lee smirked.

"Why did you do that?" Claire asked again, furious.

"Well, both of us figured that because both of us would want to be there, neither of us would. That left Phillip. Make sense?" Kelly told her.

"You still didn't have to do that to me! You could have let me pick who came with me!"

Lee was amused. "If we'd let you pick you would have taken for forever!"

Claire couldn't say anything to that because she knew it was true. She would have taken a while to choose whether Lee or Kelly were to come with her, and then probably ended up letting them pick anyway, and they knew it. Claire huffed, all the steam gone from her. She hated the fact that they were right, but there was nothing she could do about it. Gingerly, she reached up to touch her injury, a habit she'd developed, she noticed, when she was stressed.

"Well," was all she could get out.

Kelly patted her shoulder. "It's ok. We probably should have asked you first, but, well, you know."

Claire nodded, accepting Kelly's hidden apology.

Phillip had bid the girls goodbye outside of the infirmary, so the three of them tramped back to the dorm to do more homework, seeing as it was the weekend. Lee had brought her homework over so the three of them sat and did homework and occasionally complained about something ridiculous that their professor or professors had assigned.

Much to Claire's consternation, her mind kept going back to when she was sitting on the table with Phillip's arm around her. The circles he drew in her side with his thumb seemed burned into her skin, even though he had only been drawing on her shirt. She had had a crush on a boy before. She had practically fallen over her feet when a certain boy looked at her with something other then distain, or pity, her first year of high school, but when he looked at her for a second time, and then a third, in the same day, Claire went home, heart pounding. She became convinced that he liked her, and developed a huge crush on him, only to be sorely disappointed when nothing came of, and he later went on to make fun of her with some of his friends.

Much of the weekend was spent analyzing her feelings and thoughts towards Phillip and, much to Claire's relief, she found that she thought Phillip to be merely annoying, and not an object of her affections. She rationalized that because she didn't like anomalies, she would dwell on them far too much, and because Phillip was an anomaly, well, it went down hill from there.

She probably would have kept to this opinion, had something not happened the next week. Claire had had a dream. It was a dream about high school, and like normal, it was frighteningly real. Everyone had been ignoring her, and, as dreams always do, her loneliness was magnified. She had always been lonely in high school, but in her dreams was when she really realized it. Claire hated to admit it, but the dream colored the rest of the day. She left her dorm knowing that the day was going to be awful.

Later that day, as she and Phillip were sitting in English class together, because Phillip always sat next to her now, when the teacher finally ended class. For some reason, he had noticed that she was more silent then usual. She wasn't answering the questions the teacher asked like she normally did. So Phillip, being Phillip, turned to her after class to ask if anything was wrong. Claire who had been trying to hold the tears in all day could no longer do so when Phillip turned to ask, with concern in his voice, if she was ok. So, instead of actually answering him, she grabbed her backpack and made a run for it, pulling her hood up over her head. Phillip had seen the trembling bottom lip, and as soon as Claire ducked her head and left quickly, he was out of his seat, grabbing his bag, following her.

Claire couldn't get away fast enough. Her head was spinning and her eyes were blurring, and worst, all the loneliness from the dream and from high school came pouring back. As she normally did whenever this happened, Claire ran. Claire ran, tears blinding her sight, not caring that she was passing a swarm of students, until she found a small secluded spot where she could sit down and cry.

Phillip found her sitting curled up in the corner of a building, her hood over her face and her shoulders shaking. She'd picked a relatively secluded spot so he wasn't worried about anyone seeing her. As he approached, she didn't look up, oblivious to anything but her own misery. Phillip had known that she was hurting, but he hadn't know why, or just how much. Without a thought, Phillip set himself down right next to Claire, and pulled her into his lap, taking her glasses off gently.

Not caring exactly who was holding her, Claire let herself succumb to the warmth of someone actually caring enough to hold her when she was hurting. She relaxed into the person and laid her head on his shoulder, crying for all she was worth. Phillip, not knowing exactly what else to do, sat and held her, and murmured soothing things such as, "it's ok," "I'm here," and "everything's going to be alright."

It was a good five minutes before Claire's sobbing subsided, and when she'd stopped crying long enough to wonder who was cradling her, she looked up, to find Phillip looking quietly at her, head rested calmly on the side of the building. Embarrassed that he should see her like this, she ducked her head, biting her lip to keep her from crying further.

"Hey," Phillip said quietly, understanding her silent dilemma, "Hey, it's ok. I won't laugh at you. Everyone needs a good cry. Especially you, of all people."

Claire's eyes watered at that statement, but she quickly dashed away any tears by driving the palms of her hands into her eyes and rubbing furiously. As her breathing steadied, she scrambled out of Phillip's lap and to her feet. Straightening her backpack, she watched and Phillip stood to his feet as well and handed her back her glasses.

He stared frankly back at her, and as he did, she found her mouth opening to ask him a question.

"Why do you care?" she asked, scuffing her toe in the dirt and pushing her glasses on.

"Why should I not?"

Claire shrugged, and then did something she'd sworn she'd never do. "No one else has cared before, besides Kelly and Lee, and maybe Jess, my friend in high school." She told him.

"Why is that?" was Phillip's frank question.

Claire pulled her hood up again and leaned against the building. "Because I'm ugly and I'm not worth it." She told him.

"Who told you that?" Phillip asked, seeming a bit surprised.

"Everybody's told me." Claire supplied dully.

"Well, I haven't, and I'm sure that Kelly and Lee haven't, so who's 'everybody'?"

Claire was getting uncomfortable. "Look, can we not talk about this?"

"No," Phillip shook his head. "You brought this up. Let's talk about it now. It seems like it will eventually come out. Talk. Who's everybody?"

Claire sighed. "Almost nobody's told me to my face, but they've always implied it. The only person who has really told me to my face that I'm ugly is my grandmother. Every time I see her, she makes some sort of comment on how I haven't grown prettier, and how I’m still just as ugly as always."

Phillip snorted. "I don't believe that for a minute! You're not ugly!"

"Ok," Claire held up her hand. "You can't say that!"

"Why not?" Phillip asked, confused.

"Because, you're feeling sorry for me now! I don't want your pity, thanks. I've had people looking down on me all my life, and no one has ever looked at me as someone worth being around, so I'm quite used to it now. You don't have to go out of your way to be nice to me now that you're feeling sorry for me. You saw me cry, for Pete's sake! I'd feel sorry for me too! Now please, leave before you raise my hopes and I have to live in further misery!" Claire knew she was being dramatic, but she didn't see any way out of her problems now. She'd lived with them for 18 years of her life, and no one had stooped down to her level to pick her up out of them before, and in all honesty, she didn't believe that anyone was going to stoop to pick her up now.

Phillip took one look at her and stepped towards her, sweeping her into a huge hug. How he knew, Claire didn't know, but the hug broke all her walls down again, and she found herself crying yet again. She clutched at him as if he was her only hope and he held her as she cried.

Once again, Phillip found himself saying things that he thought might be soothing. However, he was much more acutely aware of why Claire was crying. Phillip couldn't imagine being told he was ugly all his life. Her parents hadn't ever stood up for her? Phillip found himself wanting to strangle these people.

"Look," Phillip found himself saying into Claire's hair. "I don't know who your parents, your friends, your grandparents think they are, but they have no right to tell you why they dislike you. I bet if you searched, you'd find out that they say mean and spiteful things to everyone they meet who isn't like them."

Claire pulled back to look at him slightly through narrowed, watery eyes. "My grandmother has always been spiteful, but that doesn't mean she's not right! And all the people at my school, I don't know them well enough to say whether or not you're right. I am ugly though." She added belligerently.

Phillip sighed, and put his hands on her shoulders, reaching up to wipe away a stray tear from her cheek. "You are not ugly. I don't know how you can honestly believe that. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror?"

"Every morning." Claire said pulling a backpack strap onto her shoulder and starting to walk. Phillip followed her, wondering how he could get through to her. He let the subject drop, however, much to Claire's relief.

Phillip didn't let the subject drop, though, when he saw Kelly and Lee next. When he informed them in small detail of Claire's break down, and why she'd broken down, both Kelly and Lee, much to Phillip's satisfaction, were shocked.

"She thinks she's ugly?" Lee asked incredulously.

"She was rather adamant about it." Phillip told her.

"Why?" Kelly wanted to know.

Phillip told her.

Both Kelly and Lee huffed at the idea that Claire could be so impressionable. But then Lee turned serious.

"We need to show her that she's not ugly!"

Phillip turned to her. "Are you doing this because you feel sorry for her, or are you doing this because you actually thing she's not ugly? Because it will show through, and the last thing Claire wants is someone telling her she's pretty when she thinks that they're not serious."

Kelly nodded. "I see what you mean. And we're not doing this because we feel sorry for her. She is genuinely pretty. I don't see how she doesn't see that."

Phillip snorted wryly. "I told her that too, and asked if she had ever looked in the mirror. She said she did every morning."

"But she obviously doesn't see herself." Lee snorted mirthlessly.

Two days later, as Phillip sat down next to Claire, he turned to study her, and then said without preamble, "Your hair looks really nice today. You ought to keep it down more often."

Claire's book hit the table with a resounding thud as she dropped and stared, mouth agape, at him. "Ok, what do you want?" She said, sounding extremely suspicious.

"Nothing," Phillip shrugged.

Claire sighed. "Look, if this is about the other day, then please don't."

"It's not—" Phillip started to say, but at Claire's stiff stare of disbelief, he shrugged. "Ok, so maybe yesterday made me realize exactly what you're going through, and because I can't believe that you think you're ugly, I've determined to show you that you're not by pointing out things about you that I find exceptionally nice that particular day."

Claire stared at him. Phillip grinned back, and Claire felt herself twitch once before she turned away and picked her book back up.

Phillip grinned to himself, and leaned back in his chair, waiting for class to begin.

The next couple of days, Claire found herself the brunt of a plethora of compliments from Kelly, Lee, and Phillip. At English next week, Claire turned on Phillip as he sat down. "Come to lunch with Kelly, Lee, and me tomorrow? We always meet in the cafeteria at noon."

Phillip, looking rather startled, nodded. The fact that Claire of all people was asking him to join her and her two friends for lunch was amazing.

However, Phillip was rather less impressed when, the next day at lunch, Claire turned on the three of them.

"Why are you doing this? I know he set you up to it." She told Lee and Kelly. "Stop complimenting me when you don't think it's true! You know I don't like hypocrisy!"

Kelly looked at her. "He didn't set us up. He merely informed us of what you thought about yourself, and because we knew it wasn't true, we decided to show you that it wasn't. In fact, we were the ones who set him up to this."

Claire narrowed her eyes. "Don't. Please don't do this. Not if you don't believe it."

Lee huffed. "What have we told you? We do believe that you don't see how beautiful you really are! Whoever told you that you weren't can—can—" Claire ignored the rest of the words coming out of Lee's mouth and concentrated hard on the food in front of her. There was no way she was going to let this get to her. She didn't want heartbreak. When she looked up, she found Phillip studying her.

"What?" She asked him, slightly frustrated.

"When will you get that we really mean what we say?" He asked her quietly.

"Well, excuse me for not falling at your feet with happiness and thankfulness because you're suddenly complimenting me! People have constantly let me down. I'm sorry for not immediately believing you!" She huffed and stuffed her face with chicken.

Phillip sighed. "Fine, but if you'll allow us, we'll show you. No, we'll show you that we mean it, even if you don't allow us."

Claire glared at her friends as Kelly, laughed almost in relief and said "You tell her Phillip! Thank you!"

The rest of lunch was relatively silent on Claire's part, as Kelly and Lee chattered with Phillip and occasionally tried to draw Claire out from behind the walls she'd thrown up. The most they were able to get from her was a grunt.

For the next week, the most they could get from Claire was the occasional sentence. She talked more to inanimate objects then she did to her friends. Kelly and Lee would glance at each other over the lunch table and sigh. However, even though Claire wouldn't respond, all three of them continued to compliment her.

At the end of the week, Phillip had had enough. He followed her to the Student Union after English and sat down across from her, staring at her. After about ten minutes of staring at her, Phillip saw Claire shift uncomfortably in her seat and peek over her book at him. He took this as his opening and thrust his way into her bubble.

Before she knew what was happening, Phillip had grabbed her book, and sat on it. Claire sputtered out a protest and was about to lunge at him when she realized that there were people already looking at her. Well, not looking at her but glancing their way occasionally. Claire settled for sitting back down and growling under her breath at Phillip.

"Give me my book back."

"My, Claire, you look extremely pretty today. How are you, beautiful?" Phillip asked, ignoring Claire's demand.

"Give me my book back." She growled again, if possible even angrier.

"I think your cheeks have a particularly nice blush to them today. Are you cold, or is your cheery spirit merely shining through more today then usual?"

"It's because I'm angry! You—you—you—! Give it back!"

"People are staring at you. And no. Sorry."

"Why not?"

"Because we need to talk. This is the most you've said to anyone in the past two weeks. I think it's about time for me to congratulate myself." Looking like a fool, Phillip reached up and patted himself on the head.

Much to her consternation, Claire snorted in amusement. As much as she didn't wish to admit it, she'd missed Phillip and his craziness. Phillip saw the amusement and plunged in.

"There! There! There's a smile! I love it! You have a brilliant smile, but no one has seen it for the past two weeks because you don't trust us to tell you the truth."

Claire shifted in her seat. "I do trust you. I just don't trust me. I don't trust me." Claire repeated.

"No, you don't trust us. If you trusted us you would let us tell you the truth. You do trust yourself to not trust us. If there is one way you don't trust yourself is that you don't trust yourself to acknowledge that what we say is true."

Claire looked at him. "Ok, that made no sense. You want to repeat that in layman's terms?"

"You understood me. You know what I said."

Claire sighed.

Phillip kept on. "You know I'm right. You said you trust me. If you really think that's true, prove it to me. Trust me. Let us show you that you really are beautiful. The things your grandmother and other people say aren't true. In my mind I think they're just jealous of you."

Claire looked at him. "How do you know this?"

"What other reason would they have? Have you ever watched the popular kids in high school put down other kids? Have you ever thought that perhaps the other kids had something that the popular kids didn't have that the popular kids wanted?"

Claire nodded.

Phillip nodded back. "Well, now you see?"

"I see what you're getting at." Claire told him quietly. "But, I'm not sure I believe you about me. It's so hard to think of me that way."

"I know, but please, please, let Kelly, Lee, and me show you? Trust us? Trust me?"

Claire sighed. "Fine. I'll try to not freak out. Can I have my book back now?"

Phillip grinned. "Yes, fine."

Then as he handed the book, he added in a quiet voice, "You do look nice today."

"Yes, but the only reason my cheeks were flushed was because I was angry." Claire retorted.

Phillip wagged his finger at her. "Now, now, that's not the way you're supposed to reply to a compliment! You're supposed to say thank you and accept it graciously."

Claire almost ground her teeth, but instead said, slowly, "Thank you. I think."

Phillip pretended to look hurt. "That will have to do I guess. Try and work on that 'accepting-compliments' thing." Then he winked at her and Claire about fell off her chair.

Before her blush could become extremely visible, she pulled her book in front of her face and pretended to read. Phillip grinned at stood up.

"I'll see you later, Claire-bear." He told her as he started to walk past her and ruffled her hair.

Claire's book quivered. "Please don't call me that," was heard from behind the book, and Phillip grinned.

The next week was especially hard for Claire. Every time either Kelly or Lee would compliment her, they would look at her as if waiting for her to say thank you, and then when she did, they would continue. When Phillip complimented her, she would look at him, and he would look at her, raise his eyebrow, and she would reluctantly say thank you.

However, as time passed, Claire found it increasingly easy to accept the compliments from Lee and Kelly, but every time Phillip complimented her, she felt as if he wanted something in return, but whenever she asked, he always told her that she must be hallucinating. This would cause her to snort and roll her eyes, and Phillip would inevitably end up messing up her hair and calling her "Claire-bear." Claire detested that nickname, because it reminded her of Care Bears, but there was nothing she could say to Phillip that would make him stop calling her that. Claire stopped bringing a book to class all the time, and would instead walk with her head up, watching the scenery around her. For the first time, she got a good look at the people around her and the campus she lived on. Her friends smiled to see that Claire was coming out of her shell.

One rather rainy evening, Claire found herself on the way to the cafeteria to get food, while Kelly was out doing a class project. The sun had already fallen, and Claire was walking towards the cafeteria without a book, but instead a closed umbrella tossed over her shoulder, ready for use should the heavens decide to open. It had been raining all day, and had just let up, so while the clouds still loomed in the darkness above, there was no need for an umbrella at the moment.

As Claire walked on in the dark, whistling, arms suddenly encircled her waist and pulled her close against a warm body. Claire screeched, and clutched the handle of her umbrella. As she did so, she pressed the button on the handle and the umbrella shot out, grazing the ear of the person behind her. The person loosened their hold enough to allow Claire to break out of the circle of arms and turn around to land a large blow to the side of the person's head with her umbrella that was still closed, but extended. The person, obviously a male now, toppled over completely surprised, clutching the side of his head.

"Ow!" Came his surprised voice as Claire, reacting on instinct and fury at being surprised, battered him with a rain of blows from her umbrella.

"Ow! Ow! Claire! Claire stop! It's me!" the guy cried covering his head with both hands, before changing his mind and reaching up to grab Claire's hand as it came down once more. Claire startled when she realized that the hand gripping her was actually Phillip.

"What the heck do you think you were doing? Were you trying to scare the crap out of me?" Claire burst out, giving Phillip a verbal lashing instead of continuing with her umbrella.

As Phillip pulled himself up, Claire saw the blood trickling from the side of his ear and started babbling even faster.

"You're bleeding! Were you trying to make up for knocking me over, by letting me hit you over the head with my umbrella? And—and look what you did to my umbrella! It's bent! I'm going to have to buy a new one! Great, just great, what am I going to do?"

Claire might have gone on babbling if Phillip hadn't swooped in and kissed her.

There was a moment's silence before Claire pushed Phillip away and stared up at him.

"Hush," was his first comment. "I was only trying to surprise you and it looks like I did," was his second comment and "Claire! Claire, come back here!" was his third and last comment.

Claire had panicked, when feelings that she never wanted to feel again, came rushing over her, and she quickly scrambled away from Phillip before racing off in the direction of her dorm.

Phillip sighed and let her go. He hadn't been able to resist, and before he quite knew what was happening, (though he knew what he was doing the entire time) he had kissed Claire. He had wanted to for a while. He had also known that Claire would probably freak out on him, but the less reasonable side of him had hoped that she wouldn't. Phillip sighed and turned his footsteps towards his dorm.

Kelly found Claire huddled under a blanket on her bed when she returned. The lights were on, and Claire was staring at the opposite wall as if it were her life line. Kelly sighed and sat down in Claire's line of vision.

"What happened?" Kelly asked, when Claire focused on her.

Claire's mouth opened, and then shut and then opened again.

"Sorry, I can't read fish," Kelly told her sarcastically, hoping that it would kick Claire into speaking.

Claire shot a glare at Kelly. "He kissed me." She whispered furiously.

"Who?" Kelly asked, knowing full well who.

"He kissed me!" Claire said again, still at a whisper, but more in a state of shock.

Kelly sighed. "Phillip?"

Claire nodded. "I hit him with my umbrella, and I made him bleed. And then he kissed me."

Kelly burst out laughing. "You hit him with your umbrella? You made him bleed? Oh gosh. Way to go Claire! You did this before he kissed you?"

Claire felt a slow blush creeping up her neck and face and mumbled "I don't want to talk about it," before turning over to face the wall.

Kelly sighed, laughter subsiding. "Claire, you're going to have to face this eventually. Life doesn't allow you run from something like this without cutting friendships off and hurting other people. I still can't believe that you made him bleed. Wow." Kelly started laughing again.

Because Claire wouldn't talk, Kelly found Phillip the next day and grilled him as to what happened.

After he told her, she hugged him.

"Thank you for kissing her. She needs to know that you, if not someone else, likes her. That might make her see that she's not that ugly. I know she's thrown walls up now, and she'll probably avoid you, but you need to continue following her. Now I sound like I'm encouraging you to stalk her, but you know what I mean."

Phillip had assumed a rather amused expression and was watching Kelly babble.

"It's ok, Kelly." He finally broke in. "I won't hurt her. You know that. And yes, I will continue to 'follow' her as you so nicely put it. I'm not going to let her retreat."

Kelly breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you. Oh my gosh! Wait until I tell Lee! She'll be so happy! Just think! You and Claire!"

Phillip grinned down at her. "Not yet, but maybe someday, yes. Hopefully."

Throughout the next several weeks, Phillip continued to follow Claire around. To Phillip, it seemed like they had gone forward two steps and then backwards three steps. Claire tried to avoid him at every step, and while she didn't bring a book with her all the time, she studied when she wasn't conversing with the girl sitting on the other side of her. Phillip tried his attention getting cough on more then one occasion, but Claire ignored him. She was rather good at ignoring him now, because she'd had practice with it so often.

Finally, after three weeks of silence from Claire, besides the occasional "pass the salt" at the lunch table, Phillip finally cornered her. Oddly enough, it was the same corner that he had found her crying in on that miserable day so long ago.

"Claire, listen to me," he had started as they walked out of English together. When she wouldn't listen to him, he reached out to grab her arm. Somehow, she avoided him and managed to make a dash down the side of the building. Phillip let out a small growl of annoyance. This had gone on too long. He followed her quickly, and managed to catch her by the corner, grabbing her elbow.

"Don't touch me!" Claire let out in a small growling sob, and before he knew it, she was crumpled against the side of the building, crying.

Phillip was at a loss. He knew he'd rattled her, but he didn't know that he'd rattled her this much.

"Claire, look, Claire, I'm sorry you're crying, but I'm not sorry that I kissed you." He ran his hand through his hair in a frustrated gesture. He didn't know what else to do, so he just stood there as she cried. When she'd substantially finished, he tried again. "What's wrong Claire? What did I do besides kiss you?"

She turned to look at him, an almost furious look on her face. "You kissed me. You brought up feelings that I was trying to bury. The last time I liked a guy, he made fun of me, and he smashed my feelings against the lockers of my school. I made a promise to myself never to like a guy again, because he could break my heart as easily as snapping a twig, but you, you seem to have gone and gotten me to fall for you! How am I supposed to get back up from this?"

Phillip sighed heavily, his heart suddenly light. "Claire, oh gosh Claire. I didn't kiss you because I wanted to make fun of you. I kissed you because I've fallen as hard for you as you seem to have fallen for me." Not quite knowing how to go on, Phillip continued almost desperately, "I don't know how you could go through your whole life thinking that you were ugly. That anyone could see you and think you were when you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen. You're beautiful, and I mean that."

Claire was more then a little stunned at Phillip's words. She knew that he meant what he said, and it blew her away. To have someone telling her this rocked her world in every sense of the word. If she weren't leaning against the building, she would have collapsed in a senseless heap. Phillip stepped towards her and drew her towards him, his hands on her elbows. With the gentlest touch, he bent in and brushed his lips on hers before pulling out to look at her.

"You're beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you different."

Claire looked up at him and grinned softly. "I'll be beautiful, if only because you think I am."

Phillip grinned, pulling her to him in a bear hug. "I do, and you are."

At lunch that day, Kelly and Lee were very happy, and relatively overwhelmed to see Claire enter, rosy cheeked and shining, holding Phillip's hand and grinning up at him as if he'd given her the moon, because in a way, he had.