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DaAlmightySmart1
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read my profile
sign my guestbook
Gender: Female
Interests: ACTING, Reading, WRITING (Poetry, novels, etc.) and DANCE
Also, In case you didn't know I have a thing for guys.... Intelligent guys... Funny guys... Caring guys... *sighs*
Expertise: Hehe... Wouldn't you like to know ;)
Occupation: Student
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
5/22/2004
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| Me? trait snapshot: clean, likes large parties, outgoing, makes friends easily, optimistic, positive, social, high self control, traditional, assertive, rarely irritated, self revealing, open, finisher, high self concept, controlling, rarely worries, tough, likes to stand out, does not like to be alone, semi neat freak, fearless, dominant, trusting, organized, resolute, strong, practical, craves attention, adventurous, hard working, respects authority, brutally honest, realist, altruistic |
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| Silent ScreamI'm screaming inside
a silent scream on the outside
the loudest scream i've ever screamed
I. Need. Him.
Why?
Why do I ruin my life?
Why do I insist on breaking my heart?
How come every time something good comes along I have to fuck it up?
Why did I tell him?
I. Love. Him.
I'm screaming inside
a silent scream on the outside
the loudest scream i've ever screamed
I will never get him back
it's my fault
screaming
pain
I'm sorry...
please!
no use
he's gone
my fault
always
it hurts
im slowly dying
my soul yearns so fully it hurts
my heart burns so badly it cries
nay
it screams
screaming
pain
help!
im slowly dying
i just...
i just finally thought he was
the one
the
one
too late
i fucked up
again
my fault
always
I'm screaming inside
a silent scream on the outside
the loudest scream i've ever screamed | | |
| Nobody reads these anyway...I havent updated in a long time, but I thought I'd mention that things with Jeremy ended, college is fine, though I get distracted and can't seem to bring myself to study much (not that I ever did in high school), and there are way too many opportunities for me to weaken. My resolve is stable to a point... but I blame my extroverted nature for the cravings I am facing. I want things I know I shouldn't and i need to learn to move slower when it comes to relationships... i mean with my overly sexual cravings, maybe i will screw up, or with being near alcohal at a bunch of parties maybe I'll drink, and I'll like it. I have too mcuh of a chance of becoming addicted because I KNOW I get addicted to things, I KNOW I will not be able to stop myself if I do, and I KNOW that if I allow myself to pass those lines I've put up, there is a never going back. I dont know if I actually like people anymore or if it is my crave to rebound. I don't know if I actaully crave THEM, or if i crave the action itself. I dont know if I can get into another relationship knowing that I fear it with almost every fiber of my being, just as MUCH as I fear being alone. once again my friends... I AM fucking IRONY! | | |
| Don't Love and Nobody Gets HurtThis heading, stolen from Sam's heading on xanga, is true. In the end it seems more people get hurt from love then benefit from it... if you look back on loves that you've had in the past, especially the ones that REALLY hurt you, would you have them again knowing how they turn out in the end? My answer is yes, a million times yes... I live for love and for pain, i crave it. A conversation: but yeah i guess i never stopped loving that [person], the one that broke my heart... and the sad thing is i would do it all over again
[other person]
Well thats...interesting if slightly foolish i know its foolish, dont you get that... i cant help it... ugh... im sick of my emotions, they are my downfall and yet i love them more than anything... i love to feel unending pain and yet i love to feel unending joy.... im a horrible person and an amazing person, i am irony i want to strattle the line, be both angel and devil, i love extremes... the problem is you are an extreme, therefore i love you... its not my fault [other person] I am more of an extreme moderate does not two extremes create the perfect moderate, yet being the perfect moderate in itself creates an extreme... if that be so i too am an extreme moderate which is in essence two extremes, hence irony Why do i allow myself to love people i no longer should? Why do I subject myself to pain? I don't know, all i know is that I love, deeply, to the core, and some people and things i love more than others. This makes me a horrible person. To you, each of you who read this: I love you... | | |
|  tee hee
 he had it coming
 Shun!
OMG! They multiply! | | |
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