Bill Gets Owned Friday Night: 10:15: 6 and a mix deep pack up backpack for the party. LBC questions the amount of beer I'm brining. "There is no way we are going to drink that much." This leads to the "O NO HE DIDN'T" look. Yes ladies and gentlemen my ability to drink has been questioned and now i feel I have something to prove. This is called forshadowing. 10:30: Arrive at the party. 10:31: Ignore rent a cop tubby motherfucker when he asks to see my ID. 10:32: Lose half my beer because they are in bottles and that is not allowed. This does not make me happy, which seems to be a running theme for the rest of the night. 10:33: Talk and kiss some ass to get my bottles back, but I have to sacrifice a beer. Handed 9 red tickets, why I am not sure yet at the time. 10:34: NewMex confiscates my bag and takes it to his room instead of the basement. 10:36: First beer at party. Meet a "cute girl" and concentrate very hard on her name so hopefully i remeber it later. 10:38: Second Beer, and realizing I'm in a room with a black light and my shirt has a stain on it that makes it look like someone jizzed on it. This for some reason amuses me. I realize I might be starting to get drunk because something so obscene I find entertaining. 10:45: Walk into the basement and almost fell over from the amount of flashing lights everywhere, but even so my eye catches something. From the kitchen beer is being handed out and it finally clicks. I pull out my red tickets and do the whole look at the kitchen, then my ticket. This process happens bout five times and then the biggest shit eating grin ever comes across my face. I already have my beer upstairs but I have 9 tickets, so that means I get free beers from some other sad fuck who had his beer brought down there. 10:46 Fight my way across the dance floor letting anything get in my way between me and more beer. 10:50 Start dancing with a girl who smells. Quickly make excuse to leave before I make fun of her or puke. 10:51 See LBC and realize that he is going to have a good fucking night. I would like to take credit but I can't. 11:00 Bathroom party. Quick stop turns into a 20 minute venture of telling stores, making fun of people and going on a TP search for some girl. I figured it would be the best I could do after I demanded she use her hand 11:30 Go back to the room and slightly upset because I realize i'm not the drunkest person. Honestly I have a problem. Start double fisting to take care of this. 11:45 Call a kid a tough guy cause he is wearing a pink shirt. He is so not impressed and gives me the stink eye. I smile cause i know i'm almost there. 12:00 Worked my way back downstairs some how in the maze of a house it was and dance with 'cute girl." I am proud of myself because i remeber her name. First Victory of the night. 12:05 First near death experience of the night. Walking through the dance floor I scoot, and i say scoot because I am still double fisting at the moment, past a couple and get pushed. This push causes me to drop a beer, hard earned beer, and sorry i will not stand for such an injustice. So of couse me, being a tough guy, in return spins around with an elbow and nail the fucker square in the chest. 2ndBiggestTool:"Don't ever fucking push my girl again." Me: "Pardon me, next time I will politely tap her on the shoulder and ask her to get the fuck out of the way." 2ndBiggestTool: "Don't talk to me like that." Me: "Sorry once again I did not realize I was talking to such a tough guy." I then turn to leave because I can tell this is going no where fast and I don't trust my actions when inebriated. 12:15 Go to talk to a girl and after hearing one sentence from her mouth realize that even shit faced I am not drunk enough to put up with her annoying banter. 12:30 Working the music and having a huge jam session in some room. Believing I am Sting and LBC is the Police we put on a show for the crowd. 12:40 Moment of the night. "Cute girl" comes up and joins me and Fezzard on the couch. 12:41 I am kissing cute girl. 12:43 She leaves and I look over at Fezzard and just smile and shrug my shoulders, and continue to drink, at least now in celebration no longer to prove a point. This is the point i think this may be a postive night and i like the direction it is heading. I need to stop being so damn optimistic. 1:15 An hour and half of pre information for the money maker. Walking back to the room my beer is in I pass TheBiggestTool. He looks at me and extends his hand... TheBiggestTool: "Hey, you know (insert name here) right?" This name was of the cute girl I had kissed. Me: "Yea." Slightly excited thinking maybe this cute girl was looking for me. Dead Fucking Wrong. TheBiggestTool: "Yea well check this out." He continues to walk by and I see his hand is behind him and attached to that is another hand and i follow the arm up to the face, and go figure. Yep you guessed it cute girl. She couldn't even look at me she just put her face down and walked swiftly by. I being a smartass congradulate him and tell him to have a good fucking night. Are you fucking kidding me. Did that just honestly happen. Did I just get owned like that stuck up prick in Good Will Hunting. Yea this tool was not as creative as matt damon was but he got the same point across. And of course this is one of the moments that I can see clearly in slow motion and still can't believe i witnessed it and that it happened to me. Now the thing is I really did not care bout the girl that didn't fucking bother me it was the whole situation and the fact that i let something like that get thrown in my face. So now of course i am disgusted with myself and this leads to heavy emotional drinking because i now think i am once again a failure. 1:30 LBC informs me he will be disappearing for a while and that he will meet me back at my house later. Fucking great I'm so fucking cool that my friend ditches me in a time when i need a drinking partner to keep me motivated. (no worries LBC, no grudge) 1:45 Realize I am in bad condition and decide it is better to leave before I make an ass of myself as i usually tend to do. 2:00 Walk home with two random dudes who are afraid of the police and start running when one drives by. This makes me laugh. Drunk laughin bill leads to him falling on the ground. I hit my ass so hard I feel as if I have a had a fence post run through it. Laying looking up at the sky I realize this would be a pathetic way to get a minor and get up. Getting up was a little to much of a task as I once again fall. 2:10 Finally make it home bruised and battered. Thinking my night of humiliation might just be over. Yea right are you kidding me. Watching TV in my room Fezzard decides to come and mock me. "Have you seen me make out with a girl only to lose her to another guy." This was prombtly returned with a double bird and some incomprehendable words that were not clear due to my drunkeness. He laughs and walks away. I live in a very supportive enviroment. 8:00 Saturday. Wake up fully clothed sprawled on my futon which i was too drunk to pull out and horribly dehydrated. 8:02 Find my phone, keys and wallet and smile because my life is still together. | 
