I haven't written in here for a long time because I wanted to make sure I saved it for something special. Well that time has come and that something special is Eric's birthday.

Eric, I know you wanted me to write in my xanga again so here's a special entry just for you, dedicated to you, all about you.

Four years ago in 9th grade you, Jennifer, and I wrote something on a green piece of paper. We cut it into pieces and all kept our own piece and we said we'd be good buddies from then on. Well I'm really glad that that held through and I really got to know you better this year. Spanish class would be nothing without you and Psychology would be dull without our leading Jabbawockee, too.

You're such a sweet and sincere person--I've never met someone as warm-hearted as you are. You're accepting of every kind of personality and you have this capacity to understand people and empathize. The world needs compassion and without people like you still here today, I would have my doubts about what our world is coming to.

Thanks for being my friend, Eric. Have a happy 18th birthday and this card is for you:

I picked the color orange because I know you like it (you use to always shout my name when you saw me in my orange sweater). As you can see, you're sporting a tennis racket (because you're pro like that). And last but not least there's a warm, fuzzy thing because you're just as sweet!

Hassle Me

"Look at you! Sitting in front of the computer, with a book open, and your glasses on. You look so studious. You're going to rule the world."

Something about ruling the world from a desktop doesn't appeal to me. Maybe it's because the thought of spending hours doing homework and steadily trudging towards world domination just doesn't fly well, particuarly with the pigs. I'd much rather be doing something else. I want to travel the world in a submarine. I want to join a group of traveling adventurers and pick up on language and culture. I want to read and learn, on my own time. I want to work and make money so I can finally afford things. Anything but this would do.

 My Shooting Star

I saw the shooting star of my life! I swear. This was the shooting star of my life! In my entire existence, the whole time I've been living and breathing on this planet, all 16 years of my life, I've never seen a shooting star. And today--tonight--just now, I saw one. It's everything I wanted it to be. It's everything I hoped it would be.

See, the thing is, I don't do a lot of things out of the ordinary. I go to school. I do my homework. I study. That's my life. That's all I do and sometimes I feel like that's all I'll ever do--go to school, do my homework, and study. Sometimes if I want to be on the edge, I do things out of order or add something in to my habitual routine and I go to the library or I take a ride on my bike.

But the highlights of my life are the people I know, the people I meet, the people I talk to--people, people, people--and the things I'm fortunate enough to see. Whenever I see a movie and see a world of almost surreal beauty, a romantic world where things turn out right, it gives me hope, but at the same time, gives me an expectation. Think about it this way, you expect your first kiss to be breath-taking. Why? Because that's how you want it to be. Well, I've never seen snow fall and when I do see it fall I want it to be worth it. I want it to be what I've always imagined it would be. I know this might be very unrealistic, but what can I do? Dream.

Why shouldn't it be perfect? Why should it fall under par? Why should it be less than what it's suppose to be? I've been waiting so long, haven't I?

Well yeah. That's how I felt. This was the perfect shooting star. And it topped the most perfect night, one of the best nights I've ever had by far. It was one of those nights where you and your girls all get together and sit around and share stories and laugh 'til there are tears in your eyes. They well up in the corners and you try and wipe them away, but another round of laughter, all 'round the table, makes you beg for more.

We were in the library and we realized we were being too loud so we decided to go out to dinner for some good 'ol Park Pantry fun. Our waitress was incredibly sweet. She thought we were sweet and even said, "You're so sweet, if you were hot chocolate, we wouldn't even need whip cream!" She told us about how she use to be a shopaholic, but mended her ways and cut it clean by working at Macy's. She was forced not to buy. She didn't have enough to buy. She couldn't buy. So she stopped.

And another thing! My brother and I actually got along today. It was incredible. This is history. Today is history. It is going down in the record books as probably one of the best days of my life. First, he put this top-of-the-line anti-virus software on my computer (yes, can you believe it? He actually took the time to do research and find this for me). Then he agreed to do some HTML stuff for our P.O. International website, as long as KT and Richard would allow it. And they did! So I got to see how that worked. Then we called my cousin, through the computer, (which was very exciting) and asked her some questions that we were dying to have answered. Afterwards, we started prank calling people using this voice simulation thing on the computer. It was crazy! You could make your voice like that one guy from Scream. Or if you're a guy you can make yourself sound like a girl. And vice versa. It was fun. We wanted to call our nephew's house and talk to his parents and pretend like we were his girlfriend (because it would get him in trouble or make him really embarassed or confused), but we realized we couldn't speak Khmer that well so we tried to get our mom to do it, but it was too late. It was time to leave for the library and do more fun things!

Oh yeah. I asked my brother to pour me a drink... and he did! He didn't even say anything about it. I was amazed. Maybe he does have a heart.

Now imagine this. After all of this, when my sister and I were getting dropped off at home, I looked up into the sky, at this small tiny space between our neighbor's house and their tree, and I saw the shooting star. It was a big white diamond in a deep purple sky. A long crystal tail trailed behind and it swooped down, in a perfect arc, forever etched in my memory.

Yeah, well that just sums up my shooting star experience. I don't want to sound dreamy and star struck (ha ha) or anything close to that, but that's how I felt. Today was the perfect day. Everything just worked and clicked. Today was a dream.

It almost feels pointless to write in a partnered xanga when your partner, more or less, never writes in it, possibly doesn't even care about it, maybe doesn't even remember it exists. It almost feels pointless to have a partnered xanga. Friendships don't always work out. Things happen. People spread apart. It only works if you want it to work, but what if you're tired of trying to make it work? It almost feels pointless to write in a xanga that you loathe the name of. It almost feels pointless to write simple when the world is so complex. It almost feels pointless to write here, to post this online, to post this to the public who is never there.

But what does it matter anyway?