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| JB's Demented World: Finally over.
Many people have IMed me over the past two months, asking when I was going to update my weblog. I then realized that ending this year-or-so long adventure on a complete and abrut cliffhanger is unfare to my readers. So, I decided to make a farewell entry. About 3 days after arriving at Clark University, I decided to retire my weblog. It had an amazing run and became a major part of my life and the lives of a few other people. I just felt that too much in my life had changed in just the first day here that it would be useless to try and keep this kind of journal up. There would be too many holes, gaps, and lost information. Besides, Keith Matera and Erica LaMagna technically own the rights to the story of my college years. If any fan wishes to know what happened to their beloved JB... wait a few years and Keith and Erica should compile some kind of story and/or movie. Plus, I will leave my complete weblog online for anyone to read... there will just be no new entries. Feel free to IM me on AIM at any time; I love making new friends, talking with fans, and taking abuse from critics.
If you are dying to know what is going on in my life... I am having a lot of fun at college. Yes, it's as good as I built it up to be. I have a very serious girlfriend; her name is Jenna. Classes are going well and I'm still a psych/film major. So, although life isn't perfect, it's doing a lot better.
In my time here, I opened an online t-shirt store. Please check it out and help me pay for food and other college essentials. Click the link below and enjoy my current designs (more are on the way).
Alright now, that I have that out of the way, I just want to end this simply and plainly. Goodby everybody. This weblog was the only thing keeping me going for one point in my life and I'm thankful to all of you who supported me and my work. I hope that something I wrote here of the past year and a half helped, changed, or inspired at least one person. If it did, then my job here is complete and I can retire from blogging a happy, fulfilled man. Thank you all for reading my stupid, crazy little blog. Have a great life and be happy. I'll miss this blog and the people who read it. I love you all.
Goodbye.
-JB 
The Official JB Store | | |
| JB's Demented World: Just adding to the weblog epidemic in Worcester, Massachusetts.
This is it. T-minues thirty minutes and counting. I am within my final hour at home. This shit has been weighing heavily on my mind and shoulders ever since last evening. Sure I've anticipated leaving for at least a year, but now that it's so close, I'm apprehensive about breaking through the threshold. The hardest thing to do in life is to break through that invisible membrane that stands between the present and future right before any major milestone. I used to cower away at that barrier's power. The major milestones dragged me through painfully, while the minor ones I've missed just passed me by, filling me with regret. Slowly, I've learned that I have to willingly pass through. Sure it takes a lot of energy and emotional/mental strength, but there is a huge relief once I am fully through that membrane. Milestones are never easy, but they always help you grow.
Last night was my final goodbye with the guys... although with Jon stuck at camp his goodbye was only over the phone. No better way to end it than watching cancelled TV shows and going out for frosty chocolate milkshakes at 1 AM. With the playing of the 80's hit "Don't You" the night was over. Rob and Ben slowly walked off into the distance known as Ben's car while the soft piano of the sad walking away music from the Incredible Hulk series filled the summer night's air. I'll never forget anyone I've crossed paths with these past 18 years. Shine on you crazy diamonds, and hey, there's always thanksgiving.
I bid you all adeiu... and will report again from my new home in Massachusettes. College is an experience. A ghost from my past once said I was "an aquired taste... a taste [she] whould love to aquire." That is exactly my sentiments towards Clark University. Goodnight you princes of New England, Kings of Massachusetts (that's right Keith, I replaced Maine in that quote).
-JB | | |
| JB's Demented World: Guaranteed to blow your mind apart!
As of wednesday I have returned to the world of the unemployed. I planned for one full week of non-stop fun and mayhem from that wednesday night all the way through the hours before I shove off for Worcester, Mass on this coming thursday. So far I've had a little fun at night doing mundane things with my friends. but more often than not (this night included) Ben has been understandably busy with Sarina and well Rob has not been picking up his cell phone or present at his house. My other friends also seem to have plans and the such. So I am here to make fun from my own devices. It is much harder than it appears. When you spend the whole day waiting in the house, holding out for an adventure that night, it causes much greater boredom and dissapointment when you find out you'll be stuck at home for the entire night as well. I am going just a tad bit stir crazy in here... especially since I'm mentally preparing for leaving here semi-permanently. I just wish I could see my friends more often during my last week at home. We probably won't be able to meet up again until Thanksgiving... and thats if we are lucky. Well I guess thats how things go. I hope we don't regret squandering our summer and taking eachother for granted just a little. The cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon. The moon. All that stuff.
All that's left now is to follow my balloon. Then again the red balloon will send me straight to hell. Maybe that's why I'm currently drinking a Mike's Hard Lemonade. This is the first time I've had anything alcoholic since Jon's party. I know it's a bad reason to drink, but I was so damn bored and depressed that I just had to take it out of the fridge. I know it won't get me even buzzed, but I know it will probably be able to calm and numb my jangled nerves a bit. I know it's not the best answer to my problems, but it's the one I'm chosing. My mom offered me a glass of wine, but I need something less refined and that can I can drink a bit faster. And actually there is less alcohol in a bottle of Mike's so I'm playing it safer anyway. I guess the unemployed life ain't all it's cracked up to be.
I've been using this time off from any kind of work to be as creative and cerebral as I can... and from time to time (especially afer 1 AM) I am actually achieving that goal. I now have a new picture of God. I see God as exactly like Willy Wanka as portrayed by Gene Wilder. Just look at that character... he is exceedingly gentle and compassionate. He allows the wicked to surcome to their own demise by giving into temptation and not heeding Wanka's simple warning. So he therefore lets evil people eventually weed themselves out without taking direct action to get rid of them. But, he must also test the good, by makign them suffer (i.e. when wanka flipps out on Charlie at the end) but rewards those who do not crack from the punishment with their wildest dreams (chocolate factory=heaven). And although Charlie was overal a good, innocent person he still "sinned" when he tried to soda, so you don't need to be perfect to be a good person, you just have to try your best and make up for your shortcommings. Charlie was a quinticential Job. Or maybe I'm just a crazy film student.
I've also been working on a crazy parody of Tommy. I figured since the movie of that godly rock opera sucked beyond all comprehension I might as well make a parody of the album songs directly and film that.... so it actually shows more respect to Pete Townsend than he showed himself when he made that movie. I swear that movie ruined my week. Maybe I shouldn't have built it up so much before actually watching it. Live and learn. Well I've been lving, but looking back on this blog, I need help learning. Speaking of which, this very blog (and my fans) is the topic of my Tommy parody. Yeah it'll be fucked up. Because that's how I roll.
-JB | | |
| JB's Demented World: It's the weblog about nothing!
Greg is gone again. I realize now how much I take proximety to my friends for granted. As I head off to college that will be totally different. I will be hundreds, even thousands of miles from all of my current friends, but I will instantly make new ones who will be living seconds or, at the most, minutes away. I have to stop burning all my damn bridges. Sure losing connections is liberating, letting me do and say as I please without fear of what everyone around me thinks. But that apparent freedom carries its own isolation and imprionment. Flying solo may prevent others from holdding you back... but it also keeps them from supporting you and just giving you company. Every time Greg leaves, he kinda fades from my immediate thoughts, but he always pops right back in upon is arrival. I'm going to have to try my hardest to make sure I can do that with everyone else from home.... make all my new friends, but come back to my current ones when we all return.
I am so annoyed by my job. My hours are so nuts and random that I never have time for this weblog anymore. The only positive thing to come from working this week was my semi-promotion. No, I don't get a raise. But I am no longer an ice cream man....I sell fish now. The breeze is better at the fish window and its much less busy. Plus as the casheir I don't actually prepare any food. It certainly makes my life much less stressful, but I still feel caged behind the counter.It's just like that song both the Who and Rush covered. At least I'm able to drown my unhappiness in material things and entertainment that I get with my influz of expendable cash from this job. If only I could get some sleep to feel rested enough to enjoy it. I work all day and do everything I wanted to do that day all night. I should stop and rest... but I always feel like I'm missing out on something when I do that.
Well I guess that's all thats been weighing heavily on my mind... that and my anxiety, turns out I may not be bipolar afterall. It may just be anxiety disorder, which is actually prevalent in both sides of my family. At least it is slightly less serious than the original; problem I thought I had. Plus, it better explains the panic and flashbacks!
Ok enough for one night... I'll report in again as soon as I can!
-JB | | |
| JB's Demented World: The theme of today's entry is "Come unto me, and love will find a way"
First of 50.32 respect points to anybody who can correctly guess what I'm trying to say with my opening and choice of music.
On to the real topic of discussion, which is, umm, damn I should have planned this out ahead of time. Now this entry is going to be one of those crazy stream-of-conciousness things. Did I just say that out loud? No, I just thought and typed it. Good. I got my room assignment/roommate in the mail yesterday. I have yet to actually speak with him, but I have high hopes. He's from Montana, and if he's anything like Jon's freind from Montana, he'll be an amazign roommate.
Man, in a couple weeks I'll finally be gone. All my downfalls, victories, and memorable little outbursts of originaltiy are about to be vaporized into the anals of distant history. I am starting anew and reinventing myself. College is a great clean slate, especially if you're the only person from your high school school going to your particular college. I think losing my legendary status is a small price for the ability to be something even greater in a school of new faces and personalities to either love or hate me. I just don't want to sink into the crowd... i still want to stand out, hopefully this time I'll start off closer to the top while doing so. I mean I am going to a very freaky-deaky liberal arts school, I think I'll have more people on my side for once. That'll be nice, nice indeed.
-JB | | |
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