| failure and that thing
that gets stuck
in your throat
So the UPCAT results are finally out and yes, I failed. No surprise there. I'm dumb as fuck so yeah.. Whatever. Jay and I are through as well. The sad thing is, I don't feel anything. I just feel numb and empty. Maybe it hasn't sunk into me yet. In a few days, I know I'll be miserable. I'm too tired and hurt to go after the things I want, and the price I'm paying is loss. WTF? It's like I just stood there and watched him walk away. Too tired to explain, too hurt to defend myself. It's not exactly the best timing either. Last night, we had a huge fight, we talked things through earlier, then for some reason we lash out at each other few hours later. Then we just both gave up. Just like that. He told me I couldn't keep my promises, I could have told him I CAN. I FUCKING CAN! but I didn't I just... said, "okay." just okay... It's not okay. Nothing's okay. And if I could travel through time, I'd go back and tell you. I'd tell you I love you and I don't ever want to lose you. I won't make the same mistakes.come over, come over.I'm dying not to hurt you. |
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| love and faithI wanna be your last, first kissThat you'll ever haveI wanna be your last, first loveTill you're lying here beside mewith arms and eyes open wideI wanna be your last, first kiss for all time In joy and sorrow my home's in your arms.I love you so much. |
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| the 2008 christening
Hello 2008 :) Oh man! The holidays, gotta love it. Grew fat and content.
My current addiction is moonRO. Yes! Ragnarok nanaman /gg I'm looking forward to a lot of things this year. Excited much? I'm optimistic now :) and you should be too. Pfft.I need a new layout. Hmm. Probably Friday. Laaaaaaaazzzyyy. |
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| severe nothingness  Since I've been awfully lonely and contemplative for the past month or however long it has already been, I figured I'd make this list of some stuff I want for the holidays. Nothing special. Just some books.
So here;
Carrie by Stephen King ( First Edition,1974)
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
Glue and Filth by Irvine Welsh
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Christmas vacation is officially on.
My master plan is to sleep in and try not to go insane.
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| I've got
a heart
so broken,
it's
unrecognizable.
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