Hey all Sorry I haven't written in awhile I haven't had internet access. Well let's see I have 4 days until I move out , I'm a little scared but I'm more excited. Finally I have freedom! So things have changed I'm not going to call Brandon anymore I'm going to call him today and tell him that I'm sorry for intruding on his life nad I won't call him anymore cause he's not what I thought he was. I was wrong to go for damaged goods, he told me I was like the rest of his exes cause I was dressed all cute and was going shopping at like 11:00 at night  (spartacus Portland) wioth a friend which was a night we were supposed to hang out. I came back afterwards to hang out with him but he was mad he didn't think I was coming back but I did (right there proves I'm not like his exes). He was upset (mad) and wouldn't talk to me finally the next day he was talking to me and he hugged me and said I'll call you later tonight. Since then things have not been the same, he was taking out stuff on me that his exes did to him. Hello I'm not your ex buddy I'm sorry she hurt you but I don't intend on doing that. Once again never date damaged goods. I feel bad that I wasted his time and mine. I just wished he would get off work so I can call him and let him know I don't like to leave ends hanging ya know. So I guess I'm back to being Chrystal again going from guy to guy every week. I'm kind of tired of being with a different guy every week. That's how I'm known around my family and friends if I had sex I would think I was a slut. I don't know I'm tired of being the heartbreaker, ice queen. I want to know what it's like to be in love and to have your heart broken. Sure it protects my heart but I want to live life to it's fullest have as many life experiences as I can getting your heart broken is one of them. I'm hopeless . Oye well life does go on and until I come to that day I will focus on school, living on my own, and I'm going back to chruch. My dad is trying to have a relationship with me after 18 years of nothing. He gave me money to pay off my credit card and is buying me stuff for my apartment. Then he told me if you have a 4 day weekend I'll come and get you then you can see Grandma and I since we're moving to Yakima. We'll see about that, one thing valuable I learned from my dad is never expect anyhting for if it doesn't happen you'll be dissapointed if you learn not to expect it however when it happens you'll be extatic. Well that's all I have to say for now I'll write later, hopefully I'm goin clubbin tonight!

                               <3 Chrystal Dawn Steinborn