Chronology, followed by other events
I am not an orator…nor am I an individual that can reread or relive the events that I have been compelled to put to paper. One day it with be an Authors task to parse them correctly. It is not easy to admit to being a victim of abuse and even harder to do so as a male. Everything stated within, as difficult as it may be to believe IS the truth and actually did happen to someone (ME)
In 2000 my mother died. A little more than a year later my father sold the family home of 40 years. After the sale he explained that it was his and our mothers wish and desire that my brother and I each receive a portion from the sale. After the sale he set aside 60,000.00 for each of us.
Shortly after the sale of the home I secured a position with the US dept of Homeland Security as an Explosives Detection Instructor and Trainer. This position had me deployed all over the nation for months. In the weeks before my deployment I met HER at my then place of employ as a School Bus driver for Marple Newtown School District. We had a few brief conversations and exchanged phone numbers.
In May 2002 I resigned with the school district as I was being sent to NYC for training. I had a brief time at home before my deployment where we made friends. During this time we grew closer.
Once on the road we spoke for hours upon hours while I was at various locations, from Washington, to Chicago, to ST Thomas USVI. While in St Thomas, after hours on the phone every night, I asked her to marry me. Early on, in our back and forth banter about marriage almost in a fantasy way. I mentioned “I want us to have a nice home, a real life” I told her I could make the down payment from money left to me from my mom and dad. She seemed excited. I was so excited and couldn’t wait to get home. In January 2003 I took some of my funds to purchase an engagement ring IN St. Thomas.
I returned home for good on February 11th 2003 and proposed to my wife on Valentines Day in a BIG public way. Despite warnings from her brother in law we were married on April 1st 2002. April FOOLS on me I guess.
We had a brief Honeymoon in Atlantic City where she gambled away 1200 dollars that was ear marked for expenses leading to home shopping. I didn’t mind as it WAS our honeymoon and I felt bad that there wasn’t time for a proper honeymoon.
We immediately began home shopping and (name removed) found one she loved quickly, close to her parents and we decided to buy it. I wrote a check for 40,000 and for 5,000 to secure us good financing. We closed and moved in on May 31st 2003.
Things went bad before we even got the keys. She stormed out of the settlement claiming she didn’t feel included. No one was addressing her, only me because it wasn’t her money. This day was really ruined for me. I walked into our new home alone, SHE arrived 20 minutes later.
I had sunk every cent that I saved and was given by family into what I thought was a future.
I truly believe now that I was scammed all along by a family of deeply disturbed people. I have been told things by XXXXX’s dad (HER oldest) and HER brother in law that are just disturbing beyond the parameters I grew up with.
I only wanted to have a family, mow the lawn, teach my NEW kids to play ball, just regular things. In the end this whole ordeal has lead to father’s death by stroke. And ironically 2 years to the day that I got engaged. Valentines Day.
All this being said, and all that has past I cannot sit by and GIVE away my mom and dads wishes. This windfall, if so deemed will be on the shoulders of the court. I cannot live with myself if I let this person get away with such a thing.
Events that finally caused me to seek protection from my wife
MARCH ‘03
After an argument about me being on speaking terms with my ex girlfriend. I agreed to call my ex to inform her we must never speak again. I did so and it led into an even more involved argument. I was accused of wanting every girl in sight whether they are walking on the street or in another car; (Name Removed) smashed one of my Collector Franklin Mint car models as well as shattered a framed piece of artwork from the wall.
Days later, after being accused of sleeping with the three women that lived in the apartment next door, I made a comment in a joking manner stating “ oh right, like I would want the girls in 16 to take care of me”, while out for a drive with the kids in the car that we had just purchased a week ago, SHE began to act in a frightening manner. She was stomping on the gas, swerving to hit poles, slamming on the brakes over and over again for more than fifteen minutes, throwing us all around in side the car. The kids were crying and screaming and I was trying to stop her and get her out from behind the wheel. She claimed she was going to “destroy this god damn fucking car” Once she stopped she yanked the kids out and proceeded to walk up Lancaster Avenue. It took me 40 minutes to get her to calm down get back in to go home.
APRIL ‘03
Continued accusations now involving every female to ever be in my sight. My Wife smashed another piece of art off the wall, including my Villanova Diploma. I was called a spoiled little rich asshole, a dick less fuck, and she stated “I’ll be happy when you’re dead”
NOTE:
The above and ALL subsequent episodes were followed by extremely tearful apologies; some of these apologies were in hysterics stating it would never happen again. Many times she would fall to the floor, grabbing my legs while begging me not to leave her. On this and other occasions she grabbed a kitchen knife and held it to her wrist. I calmed her enough to get it away from her then did the best I could to reassure her I was not now nor ever would cheat on her.
WHY STAY?
I loved this woman and our children with all my heart. I wanted to be the one to make her feel loved and secure. I wanted my family.
APRIL ‘03
After accusations of wanting my EX as well as “the girls in apartment 16” SHE smashed an ashtray on my mothers heirloom coffee table which put numerous dents in it then she smashed 2 remote controls, one for the TV, and one for the DVD player. I was able to repair the TV one but the DVD one destroyed. Later that afternoon I was attacked with an antique baseball bat. SHE was swinging the bat at my knees, I dodged most attempts but one finally connected with my knee. I dropped to the ground and while down holding my knee she began to dig her nails into my neck till I was choking. I managed to push her off of me and when I attempted to leave she grabbed my legs and begged me not to. I stayed yet again. The next day I was attacked asleep in bed in the same manner, finger nails dug into my neck while being accused of wanting to leave her. AGAIN, the tearful apology and promises that she would stop her behavior.
MAY ‘03
My wife in hysterics again; Stating I didn’t want her ugly body. She ran from the apartment and proceeded to walk right down the middle of Conestoga Road in Devon. She was yelling “I want a car to hit me, then you’ll be happy” I followed as closely as possible while flashing my lights at oncoming vehicles. This went on till she turned on Devon-Chester road and had nearly reached Lancaster Avenue. Once she reached the Post Office at Devon she threw her Engagement ring across the parking lot, and finally broke down and got back in the car. I spent about 10 minutes finding the ring then we returned home and she got in her car and left.
Next day: She broke down heavily in tears begging me to help her and to love her and not to leave her. What could I do?
JUNE ‘03
My boss, Edwin B. Santos JR. Federal Screening Manager at Philadelphia International Airport informed me that I need to ask my wife to stop calling me over and over again every day as it was having a negative effect on my job performance.
JULY ‘03
After accusations of having relations with various females I work with my wife came into the kitchen wielding the Franklin Mint ceremonial General Grant Sword that hangs on a display in our bed room. She was swinging it all over the place as I was backing away and trying to disarm her. One swing slashed my nose from top to bottom which I still bear the scar for. Before I disarmed her she turned the sword to her belly and she stated “I know you’re going to leave me and I can’t live anymore. After finally jumping her to disarm her I went upstairs and phoned the Police. When the police arrived I was too ashamed and afraid to tell them the story. I simply said “everything was ok now; we just had an argument” My wife stated to the police that she was just “upset”
An hour or so after the police left HER began to get upset again, this time her rage was directed totally at herself. She grabbed a butcher knife from the cutting block in the kitchen and began to walk around the house holding it at her wrist. I followed and tried to talk her “down” she didn’t want to hear anything I was saying and stabbed herself in the thigh with the knife, I immediately jumped on her and got the knife away. I helped dress the wound and got her calm. The night ended with no further events. THIS WAS TERRIBLY UPSETTING, THE KIDS WERE HIDING UPSTAIRS.
One day upon arriving home from work she asked to talk, she began to state how sorry she was for everything she has put me through. She proceeded to state that she thinks she does this to me because of the way her mother treated her and that she was hit by other men and she couldn’t control what she was doing.
JULY ‘03
As best I can recall this incident was 2 or 3 weeks after the sword ordeal. My wife, after hours of accusations which have now become a daily ritual attacked me in bed once again with her fingernails, digging them into my head and neck as she was in a full rage, crying, spitting, and fully flush red. I got out of bed and began to pack my things. After a conversation with her mother ( she ALWAYS called her mom during or after arguments) she kicked in the locked bedroom door, I grabbed my bags and went to the door, she tried to stop me by blocking the door then she ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife. I saw the knife in her hand and went into the kitchen to calm her. She was screaming how she knows I’m cheating then she started to hack at the kitchen counter with the knife till I was able to get it away from her. A few moments later her mother entered our home without warning. Stormed over to me in the kitchen, I back up to the counter and she stated she would “fuck me up if I ever touched her daughter” “you fat piece of shit”. I HAVE NEVER LAID A HAND ON MY WIFE. This time I DID leave and spent the night at a Motel near the Airport where I work.
NEXT DAY: I returned home after work to find my wife curled up in a near fetal position on the recliner and unresponsive. I got on my knees, told her I’m sorry for leaving and the bad things I said back to her mom. I told her that I love her very much. I asked her to PLEASE get some help, I will go with her. We can’t go on like this. I got no response what so ever. It seems like all I do is apologize for the ignorant comments I have made in the past but she is not ready to address what she is doing to me.
NOTE:
After she left for work in the afternoon I finally decided to try to document what was happening to me and I took Video tape of my wounds.
The beginning of the end
SEPT ‘03
My wife approached me in the bedroom after spending two solid days in front of the computer. She broke down in tears and said she was so scared I will leave and didn’t know how to tell me this. (She was not violent this time), I asked why she would say that… After a moment she stated she has slept with another man. This man was the father of two children who ride her school bus. He had asked her out, she went to lunch with him on a Wednesday. Wednesday evening she arrived home with some pink roses that she claimed were from a student. She went on to state that she called him and accepted a dinner invitation at his home for that Friday. She went to his home WITH our children where she proceeded to have sex with this man. After she told me about this she gave me a card and the long letter that he wrote her. She also bought him a birthday present. Needless to say this was devastation to me. My bride of only a few months had been with another man. I did my best to forgive her and try to heal but she never allowed that. Incredible as it sounds, the accusations actually increased at this time, she now claimed I MUST be cheating now because I want to get even.
NOV ‘03
After spending all afternoon to prepare a nice Birthday dinner for my wife, she didn’t even come home. What more can I say about this?
DEC ‘03
While sitting watching TV and discussing bills my wife mentioned that she wanted to go back to being a stripper to make extra money. This was very upsetting to me. I knew that after hearing this it was just a matter of time, I stayed but I don’t know why.
While out sledding with the kids, she whacked our son in the head for asking a question, then as she was going to sled down the hill she said “I don’t want you talking to anyone while I’m down there” I said “what” then she said it again, “I don’t want you talking to anyone while I’m down there” This whole scenario is also on video tape.
During an argument (again about her believing I was sleeping with someone) my wife became unbelievably cruel and in regards to the man she slept with began to state. “Tim did things to me you could never do” “He fucked me SO hard” “His cock felt so good” “He ate my pussy so fine” “you’re a fat ugly fuck with a little dick” ……Our Beagle puppy was walking around, she kicked her off the bed then said “I hate that dog, she reminds me of your EX, I hate her (the dog) I hope she gets hit by a car and dies”
AGAIN: All of her episodes were followed by extremely tearful apologies; some of these apologies were in hysterics stating it would never happen again.
JAN ‘04
While sitting at the computer playing a game my wife approached me from the right and slightly behind. She punched me twice at full force, my eyeglasses flew off my face and I felt my temple burning, I reached up and I was bleeding. After some months without being hit I thought that phase was over. NOW I knew I had to get out. She spent the next couple of hours grilling me over who I was sleeping with. She wouldn’t even tell me where my glasses were for 25 minutes. This night ended with no apology from her, we just went to bed, me in the bed her on the recliner like every night for the past 6 weeks or so.
JAN 11th 2004
My Birthday, Jan 11: No card, no cake, no present, not even a simple HAPPY BIRTHDAY from my wife.
JAN 31st 2004
She empties and closes one of our joint bank accounts. I only found this out by going online to check our available funds for house bills. (Statement available to prove this)
FEB ‘04
February 13, 2004:
In an last ditch attempt to show my wife how much it hurt when she constantly stated she was going to kill herself, I wrote a fake suicide note in hopes she would be able to see what she has been putting me through and seek help for herself. After thinking more clearly I decided to destroy the note but apparently I did not destroy all the copies. One of these copies was left it in my car. (A car which she never drives or goes in) This note was NEVER intended to be seen.
February 14, 2004
The next day after lunch with my father I arrived home to find my vehicle GONE. I phoned the police to report it stolen and they stated it was removed for insurance reasons. I had my doubts even though I was under the impression from my wife that the extra key/remote had be lost or missing for some months. I drove past my wife’s parent’s home where I knew she was living for the past week. My vehicle was there and blocked in by her fathers truck and it had “THE CLUB” on the steering wheel. I phoned the residence and my wife informed me that the State Police told her to remove the vehicle due to an auto insurance lapse. I phoned the insurance company and there had indeed been a lapse in payment, I assured them the check had been sent, which it had, it cleared on the 16th of Feb. In addition I made a double payment via check by phone due to the fact that she refused to release the vehicle to me until she had proof of insurance. The Local police informed me that since the vehicle was in both our names I had EQUAL rights to access to the vehicle, further more, PCO Bobb from the Bordendale barracks of the Pennsylvania State Police (484-840-1000) informed me that the State Police would NEVER advise anyone to move an uninsured vehicle from a private driveway.
Upon discovering this note my wife went to the Marple Police Department where she was advised to go to Mercy Fitzgerald Hospital and file what is known as a 302 order to have me involuntarily committed to a psychiatric facility for evaluation. At approximately 1400 hours on Saturday the 14th of February (Valentines Day) the Marple Police arrived at my home and informed me that my wife was on her way to file such an order and if I was to go with them voluntarily to Mercy that the 302 order would not be able to be filed. Upon arrival at the hospital I was informed that the police were less than truthful with me and would have to remain at the facility for a minimum of 72 hours.
February 15, 2004
After spending the night in this facility I was able to see Dr. Lee Silverman for evaluation. Dr. Silverman informed me that my wife was making claims of depression, alcohol abuse and suicidal tendencies. Despite these claims I seemed to need no medication and he could see no visible sign of mental deficiency or basis to uphold these allegations. I was informed that if I was still as calm, rational, and lucid come morning that we should be able to have a family conference with my wife and her mother hopefully Monday, if not then Tuesday and I should be able to be released.
2000 hours: My wife and her mother come to see me at Mercy. Within minutes of sitting down my wife begins to question me and accuse me of being with one of the patients on the ward. I spent the next 15 minutes answer such questions as:
“What is HER name?”
“Who is she to you?”
“What’s so great about her?”
“Has she been in your room?”
“Have you been in her room?”
“How many times have you had a smoke together?”
“What did you tell her about us?”
“Why did you brush her hair with your hand when you walked by her?” this DID NOT happen
“Why didn’t you call me for your clothes, why did you call your dad?”
Parts of this conversation were overheard by the girl in question as well as others. They are available to verify these facts if necessary.
Before leaving my wife stated to me: “I’m so in love with you, and I love you so much”
February 16, 2004
For reasons not explained to me the meeting was unable to happen on this day. Dr Silverman informed me the meeting would be Tuesday the 17th at 10:30am with my wife and her mother in attendance and baring and further accusations from my wife I should be released at that time. Naturally I was rather disappointed to be spending another night in this environment.
Late on this afternoon I was informed that my wife would NOT be attending the meeting.
February 17, 2004
1000 hours: My father arrives to support me in the meeting, we go in to the kitchen room where Dr. Silverman, and the Social worker (pardon me for forgetting her name) are waiting. After a discussion of some 10 minutes the doctor informs me I am free to go and that he sees NO reason to keep me there. Moments later my wife enters the meeting, the Doctor looks puzzled and reminded her that she stated she was not attending. My wife made attempts to invent issues to keep me there but the Doctor had made his decision and despite her objections he saw absolutely no reason for me to be in this facility any longer. All the parties aside from my wife and I left the room. My wife and I spoke for a short while where she stated how much she loved me, and was in love with me. I stated my father was waited and I really just wanted to get out of there and so we did.
Dr. Silverman diagnosed me with Adjustment Disorder/Marital Discord and directed me to have a substance abuse analysis done to ascertain if I had any issues pertaining to substances. After a lengthy analysis with a substance abuse counselor on the Friday the 20th I was deemed to have no substance abuse issues and was cleared.
February 19, 2004
After rescheduling 4 times over a 2 week period, I finally put aside my manhood embarrassment and went to get a PFA (Protection from Abuse) order against my wife. I arrived at the Office of Judicial Support at approximately 1400 hours. I was given a stack of papers to fill out and then was taken to another office where I was informed that my wife was there at the same time and was filing something against me. We sat in wait for the Judge for sometime until finally we were seen and I was quite upset to see it was to be a joint proceeding with my wife there as well. The rest is a matter of record.
The events described in this document are true and real. These facts are chronologically accurate to the best of my recollection.
Dean J. Harmon
Post Script: 9/3/2005
Events continue to this day. These events include my wife’s family following my moving company from my former home to my new residence. Stealing of my garbage cans from the curb. Sitting in front of my home. Her and her family following me. Accosting me, shoving me and taking photos of my acquaintance and I in a supermarket. (Police report filed) Mysterious phone calls, Phone calls to my recent acquaintance and her mother. Unwelcome visits to my deceased father’s partner. Illegal bank record acquisitions. | 
