all i think about

I can't hide it

although I've tried

I thought I was lost

It hurt, so I cried

Hands beneath me

You catch every tear

You show me the light

And that I have nothing to fear

A smile on my lips

contagious, I know

Your holding my hips

Kissing me slow

All the clouds are blown away

Because of you, I forgot the pain

O God, how I wish you could've stayed

But your gone, so again it rains...

Remanissing about the hours past

I close my eyes slowly

I close my eyes slowly

half asleep with a smile that will last

i didnt mean to..

don't hit me again

although I prefer it over the words u said

I hope u know how deep u cut me

can't u see the water in my eyes &

my face swollen and red

Doing right in your eyes is impossible

I try, Lord knows I tried

So much for the loving dad I thought I had

my heart is broken, and left dry

A disappointment is all I am lately

Is it lately, or have I always been like this?

Daddy's lil girl grew up to be a fathers worst nightmare

now its too late to ask for that g'nite kiss

I break all the rules and still think we were friends

all b/c I thought you understood me

Was I wrong, or did I just push the limit?

I give up, the way things are now are the way things are

are the way things will always be

I tell you I'm sorry, but I'm not

I thought it was okay

wrong impressions are fatal

maybe I'll do better the next day

hey, thought i'd update this thing, been a really really long itme. i dont even think anyone even reads these things anymore, but i still get the email mails every other day. well, me and shawn have been together for almost 6 months. still  going good , only thing is he might be leaving with his family instead of stayin here if he cant find a place. we got into another arguement today, well, not really arguement, just i lost it again and fuckin cried again like everytime i go to his house, i dont know what it is but he always pisses me off so bad, and i guess i start thinkin that maybe i deserve to be treated better, so i get distant when he does dumb things and then he'll ask me whats wrong and ill get mad when he tried to "cheer me up" by tackling me. god i cant make it stop, it happens that exact way everytime. I feel bad cuz im being a drama queen and i cant suck it up when it comes to him. And i couldn't break up with him cuz i care to much about him, that and i guess im afraid of being alone. Now ashley's leaving in may and i hope sandra and i become good friends cuz if not i wont have any that are gurls. O , i just got a lecture from my dad about how he caught me and shawn fucking upstairs, they walking in the house and he said that we were banging so hard the whole seiling was shaking and all the kids were in the house! yea, he's so pissed at me. he said from now on to do it in the floor so no one can hear. jeez, im tired. i have got to go find sumthing better to do

-mandy

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im tryin to put up these pictures  idk if itll work, but comments are loved!

so much shit is goin on, and its so dumb, boys have huge egos and sum of my friends arent helping! i just wish people can leave the past in the past and treat each day like a fresh start. this is getting ridiculous. im not happy with either of these boys rite now,so if they care about me more than fighting eachother then they should show it by dropping this whole myspace argument and concentrate on making the relationship b/w me and him better. im getting impatient and annoyed. i am not hard to impress and i dont mean to be flattering my self but dammit, boys are so fucking immature!    anyone want to be lesbian with me?!   LMAO   JK

-mandy