hey, thought i'd update this thing, been a really really long itme. i dont even think anyone even reads these things anymore, but i still get the email mails every other day. well, me and shawn have been together for almost 6 months. still  going good , only thing is he might be leaving with his family instead of stayin here if he cant find a place. we got into another arguement today, well, not really arguement, just i lost it again and fuckin cried again like everytime i go to his house, i dont know what it is but he always pisses me off so bad, and i guess i start thinkin that maybe i deserve to be treated better, so i get distant when he does dumb things and then he'll ask me whats wrong and ill get mad when he tried to "cheer me up" by tackling me. god i cant make it stop, it happens that exact way everytime. I feel bad cuz im being a drama queen and i cant suck it up when it comes to him. And i couldn't break up with him cuz i care to much about him, that and i guess im afraid of being alone. Now ashley's leaving in may and i hope sandra and i become good friends cuz if not i wont have any that are gurls. O , i just got a lecture from my dad about how he caught me and shawn fucking upstairs, they walking in the house and he said that we were banging so hard the whole seiling was shaking and all the kids were in the house! yea, he's so pissed at me. he said from now on to do it in the floor so no one can hear. jeez, im tired. i have got to go find sumthing better to do

-mandy