| 12:28Why do I have to question fucking everything. He shows he cares and says it (in his odd ways) but why do I have to have such trouble believing it. I understand he has to do stuff, but damnit, just fucking call when you say you will. That's all I need to make me feel better. Ok, you have to go do something, you made plans with me first damnit! I'm sorry if that pisses me off but I think it would with anyone. Its like you can do all this other shit but can't take a little time to come see me when I will give you gas money... God I hate how much I miss him, I absolutly fucking hate it. I don't want attached damnit.... I hate that I can never stay mad at you.... |
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| So...Got bored and read through all of my old posts and all I can think is..... What the hell happened.... |
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| HAI feel good. I'm not doing that much different or killing myself at all and I'm losing weight fast.... About 15 pounds in 2 weeks or so? Not sure, can't remember when my doctors appointment was and I don't care if its considered unhealthy, I feel good. Sorry Ash but I find it kind of funny that you're measuring your food, stressing about how much you ate in a day, doing "staires" and I'm losing faster then you. :) |
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| ........Ever feel like the most fucking hated thing in your life? Like no matter what you'll always be the bitch, the slut, the perosn everyone always looks down on? Yea, I'm having one of those nights and I'm fucking going insane to the point where I want to walk to town to get some form of human comfort from someone who I know I can go to. |
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| I Live In the Past To Much.....Been thinking about Kyle alot latly for some reason. I guess I miss him but when I think about him it's either extreme hate or missing him. I found the CD he made me and the note. I miss taking to him, he was great to hang out with and just alot of fun. Sometimes I wonder how hes doing and what hes been up to. Probably wouldn't be hard at all to find him though, but should I really try? Everytime I listen to Haste the Day, I think about him..... The song he showed still plays in my head all the time. "I will stand, I will stand, when everything falls away. I will fight this war forever or until I die." |
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