Corremos al fuego
Nuestros pies chisporrotean
Como un desayuno de madrugada.
Sabemos que no es correcto;
No nos importa,
Corremos, Corremos, y nos quemamos.

Debería valer la pena.
Nuestros manos sucios se sonreyen
Cuando nos descubren.

En el cèsped feo, descanso,
repugnè por nosotros.
Me besas mi cara
Y levanto con el sabor de sus quimicas
en mi boca. Dividí
correr, correr, y caerme en el fuego.
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We run to the fire
Our feet sizzle
Like an early morning breakfast.
We know it isn't right;
We don't care,
We run, we run, and we burn.

It should be worth the suffering.
Our dirty hands smile
As we discover eachother.

In the ugly grass, I rest,
Disgusted by us.
You kiss my face
And I rise with the taste of your chemicals
In my mouth. Torn,
I run, I run, and I fall into the fire.

I thought it was over. I thought it was over. Why? I know why. I need to stop thinking about the things that hurt me and the people who have betrayed and destroyed me. Sounds easy, huh? Not so much. I hurt so much. I am like an empty corridor; I can feel the pain resonate against my walls. Is this a panic attack? It almost feels like one the way my arms are so numb and shaky. I am so afraid. No more. PLEASE no more! I don't want this anymore. I can handle anyone else leaving me and betraying my precious trust. PLEASE stay with me. PLEASE understand me and help me through this. I just need someone to trust that won't leave me. It's too bad that will never happen. People don't understand me. I am not trying to play a game with anyone, it just happens. I wish someone would just help me. They just don't know how. If they can't help me, then how the hell am I supposed to get better? What a futile cause I am. I just wish people would understand how hard this is for me! I wake up every goddamn day and think of suicide, but I don't do it! I don't even get close to doing it! Look, I've even calmed myself down from the near breakdown state I was in before. I wish someone could understand how amazing that is for me. I would normally be in my bed freaking out right now, but I'm not. If I can't get support, can I at least get some acknowledgement? I need something for all of these steps I am taking. I am working my ass off to be less negative and be more social and less of a bitch to people. I don't expect a parade or anything, but the occasional, honest, "I really appreciate how you are trying to be more positive" would send me over the moon. Maybe I am just asking too much. I'm sorry. Ugh!!!!!!!