|
DarkImmortalGurl
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Samantha
Country: United States
State: New York
Gender: Female
Interests: Music is a big big big part of my life its what i use to get me through alot mostly everything music is always there for me i love it so much...I write songs i sing all the time anytime anywhere and i write poems to express how i feel... sometimes or a good amount of the time i drowned out my problems and refuse to see that i have them or that they exsist..... my hero and my friends get me through everything they know who they are i thank them and love them all... well
if you ever have a question or need advice im here im me at immortalgurl03 or email me at immortalgurl03@aol.com all my love Sam later days.....
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  immortalgurl03@aol.com
Member Since:
8/9/2003
|
|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| haven't heard this song in forever was listening to it alot today and it reminds me of alot of shit i love this song....haven't posted in awhile been thinking about alot of shit and am confused in alot of fields of my life at the moment.....school....work....love...happiness its all up in the air(get more in depth next entry).....ive made some mistakes and now im looking back on them learning my lesson and ive realized that this makes me human however i have to deal with the choices i made without thinking....also more importantly always think before you act cause it can drastically change everything like within a blink of an eye. i know i am not elaborating however i will when i get more time to just sit down and type out everything for myself ive learned that writing it all out lets me read it and also help myself configure wtf is going on...for it seems i have no regrets about the past because i can not change it however i can just create a future so with that being said why do i still look back on the past and wish to do things differently?.........ugh my head is all scrambled inside with constant thoughts its like the energizer bunny it just keeps going and going and i want to scream i want all the clutter inside to come together and form straight fwd thinking however its all mubbled jumbo and its leading me everywhere....i want to stand on a mountain and scream at the top of my lungs AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH......since there is no mountain lol.....ugh im just going to try to relax and smoke and hope for a better day tomorrow or even perhaps and better evening....
all my love to all some more than others Sam <3
"look into my eyes and tell me what you see
someone real this is real
watch your words to burn
open your eyes.....
open your eyes...." -Burton C Bell - Fear Factory-
THE BRAVERY LYRICS
"Time Won't Let Me Go"
Whenever I look back
On the best days of my life
I think I saw them all on T.V.
I am so homesick now for
Someone that I never knew
I am so homesick now for
Someplace I will never be
Time won't let me go
Time won't let me go
If I could do it all again
I'd go back and change everything
But time won't let me go
I never had a 'Summer of 69'
Never had a Cherry Valance of my own
All these precious moments
You promised me would come in time
So where was I when I missed mine?
Time won't let me go
Time won't let me go
If you gave me back those years
I'd do it all better I swear
Time won't let me go
Ba ba ba ba ba...
If I could go back once again
I would change everything, yeah
If I could go back once again
I'd do it all so much better
Time won't let me go
Time won't let me go
If I could do it all again
I'd go back and change everything
But you won't ever let me go
Ba ba ba ba ba...
| | |
| FOR ME TO ME ABOUT ME.
For
the record can i state that i am only 18 not 30,40,50 or whatever the
hell people seem to think i am or expect from me. Its one thing being
mature and its another making someone feel pressured to be older jus
tthought i get that out there.
I could of went to school and
still can but its a matter and question of him. He doesnt realize
everything i do i do it for him. All i gave up all my friends and at
times i feel my family as well.....but i didi it and did it for him. I
made soooo many sacrifices for him and to think he cant make any or
barely....he still at his own house with his family with everything he
is use to i adapted to his surroundings and he never did to mine.
so
here i am......rambling over something that seems and feels so dreadful
and horrible that in time when i look back probably wont be so bad but
for now it is.
i feel like nothing is falling into place right now.
i feel pressured and confused and toren between the things i really need and want and things that will just benifit me.
Ive learned not to depend on anyone but yourself cause in the long run all you have is you regardless of love....
love just doesnt make you happy you need more then love to just give and recieve.
where do i stand i dont know i picture it like this......
i
am in an empty room and there is just walls there is nothing in this
room its empty cause thats how i feel and i just keep walking around in
this room and never getting out..... [hahahaha call me crazy it sounds
like i am in a looney bin but i am not]....im trapped in this room with
no color no emotions and no direction.
People say they know or
claim they know but they have no idea people also think they know the
answers when really they know nothing.......its call assuming and
judging based on what you see....for the record what you see and know
are two diff things.
im tired and beat down at 18 it makes no
sense.....everyone makes me feel older and wants me to be older but i
cant be and tired of it and i dont want too.
Where do i go from here????? | | |
| So wh would of thought i would be still be sitting here wrting on this stupid thing...okay well its not stupid cause this site is the first of all the ones that i have that i devoted myself to but barely visit.......how can someone or how does someone think they love you but then do the complete opposite to make you think wtf is wrong with you....dont you realize i am still young and want to have fun or better yet i need to have fun from time to time in order to achieve happiness i need a piece of the past with me every now and then i need to be reminded oh snap that what it was i cant get it back and this is what it is......i find myself sometimes swimming in cirlces going nowhere fast......my mind is all sorts of all over the place with what i really what.....why do i have this job if i dont get paid enough to live on or be able to do anything......why do i devote all my time to someone to the point where it seems ive lost everything around me......why do i try for something to be something and its slowly turning out to be nothing........i dont know maybe its just me holding onto the past maybe its just me not finding what i want or getting what i want or need or maybe it is just me maybe i am so use to something one way i dont know how to allow it to be another cause it just doesnt seem right.......so where do i go from here what i do what happens from here on out?????....ive pretty much fucked myself royaly and now have nothing to barely anything to fall back on....and as im fucking myself over and over again for it seems i found myself in a tight spot considering i already made that mistake of just doing a big action w/o thinking and regreting later this time i am really just going to sit here and think it all out and through....this is for me to vent for me to feel like someone out there is listening cause writing has always made me feel better through anything that has hurt me upset me confused me and plenty more of things...............where my life takes me from here i dont know all i know is that i am toooooo young to already start living my life with the what ifs and maybe if i just do this........nooooo sorry not anymore it cant be this way i wont allow it so therefore starting tomorrow cause tomorrow is a new day i shall be different and on a different foot i am doing whatever i want when i want and i am going to make MYSELF happy keyword myself as in other pple apparently cant dont want to or always want me to tell them and i cant do that so therefore i am just going to do it myself from now on and only depend and rely on me............goes sarcastic for a min. while looking in mirror *gives myself a big hug* I LOVE YOU YOU ARE SOOOOO AWESOME....dont let other pple let you down you come to far to go back and or look back now just like you always say.........IT IS WHAT IT IS.....
leaving the past behind for what it was and looking at me myself and i for the future ****CHEERS GOOOO YOU**** yeah i know im a dick hehe
| | |
| Terrance passed away this passed weekend.....its doesnt come as a shock. Lyss summed it up better then me. Ill have her do it again and post it if i type we will be here all day i have many thoughts and this just is what it is for the time being.
R>I>P
| | |
| Hello All...just a quick one
myspace rules i am always on there so i barely come here anymore hehe.
Guess it is taking over the world.
Charlie and I are no more there is no more chuck chuck got chucked hehe
Its amazing "never frown cause you never know when someone is falling for your smile".
Even through all that lets just make it easy and call it drama its way over.
Well sometimes love comes knocking at your door when you least expect it.
Well it did and i couldnt of asked for anything any more better considering this site has been thru almost all my loves/bf's/crushes etc. thought id take note of this one because this one isnt going anywhere for awhile forever if there is such a thing.
I am older now and this is the one it feels right and i want it.
I can see myself marrying him and settling down with him.
I moved in with him and so far all is well and it seems like it never gets old i love it here and i love him being around me all the time.
Well only time shall tell seems like that line is always used and it never gets old and seems to amaze me however i hope to come back here and still all still stands as is.
 Mario n Samantha Equal love and its true forever and ever you have my heart i <3 u .
| | |
|
