This Xanga site is officially abandoned. I'm going back to my old one:

Http://www.xanga.com/b2pmichaeljin

I guess I haven't written in a while... Well I've been back from Jeremiah 24:7. For those of you who don't know what it is, it was a retreat held by Jericho Falls Ministry. I must say that it was a true blessing to be present at that retreat. I felt that God truly gave me a renewed sense of purpose. This is a portion of conversation between me and Janice today:

NWYGTofuBurger: sometimes i wish that i could do more
NWYGTofuBurger: not just with you, but with everyone else i talk to
NWYGTofuBurger: youth these days are under far too much stress
NWYGTofuBurger: it's so sad to see
aznJsPoRtzGrL: yeah~
NWYGTofuBurger: keep on smiling tho
NWYGTofuBurger: and keep up the prayers
aznJsPoRtzGrL: haha
aznJsPoRtzGrL: wuh smile?
aznJsPoRtzGrL: awww~~ man u sound juss like hojin oppa
aznJsPoRtzGrL: =*]
NWYGTofuBurger: haha
NWYGTofuBurger: i wouldn't know since i never really talk to him
aznJsPoRtzGrL: im so serious
aznJsPoRtzGrL: hes like dunt worri bout nethin
NWYGTofuBurger: you really shouldn't
NWYGTofuBurger: right now is the time that you should be using to enjoy life
aznJsPoRtzGrL: juss let GOD handel it
aznJsPoRtzGrL: and keep smiling and makin fun of me so that i laff
NWYGTofuBurger: just trust that GOd will provide
NWYGTofuBurger: and truly live
aznJsPoRtzGrL: and i luv u alot buh not in da weird stalker waii
aznJsPoRtzGrL: lolz
aznJsPoRtzGrL: yeah
NWYGTofuBurger: hahaha
aznJsPoRtzGrL: ur like a second hojin
aznJsPoRtzGrL: in a wai
aznJsPoRtzGrL: lolz
NWYGTofuBurger: freaky
aznJsPoRtzGrL: haha
NWYGTofuBurger: i always thought that he was like the complete opposite of me
aznJsPoRtzGrL: nd u both play guitar!!
aznJsPoRtzGrL: nah
aznJsPoRtzGrL: the way u both talk 2 me and treat me
aznJsPoRtzGrL: ish almost so much da same itz scary
aznJsPoRtzGrL: lolz
NWYGTofuBurger: well i guess it's because we both care
NWYGTofuBurger: and i think everybody comes to the same realization about life eventually
aznJsPoRtzGrL: yeah
NWYGTofuBurger: do you know what my prayer is?
aznJsPoRtzGrL: ?
NWYGTofuBurger: it's that one day the youth of the world will be free from all of the social constraints and hinderances and just be able to be youth once again, praising God with their zeal
NWYGTofuBurger: our society just makes kids grow up too fast
NWYGTofuBurger: and really serves to stunt their spiritual growth
aznJsPoRtzGrL: wow
aznJsPoRtzGrL: yeah
NWYGTofuBurger: the result is a hesitation from the youth to really take up the freedom that God provides
aznJsPoRtzGrL: AMEN BRO!!
NWYGTofuBurger: everyone i know is living in hiding. always worried what people might think or say, always so self-conscious and paranoid about worldy things
aznJsPoRtzGrL: lolz
NWYGTofuBurger: but you have to believe that nothing else matters in the end besides your relationship with God and once you accept that into your heart truly, you WILL feel a huge burden lifted from you
NWYGTofuBurger: that's the realization that i came to at Jeremiah 24:7
NWYGTofuBurger: when i talked with all of the kids there and stuff
aznJsPoRtzGrL: icicz
NWYGTofuBurger: i feel that God really gave me purpose at that retreat
NWYGTofuBurger: actually i guess more of a renewed sense of it
NWYGTofuBurger: and a mission before me
NWYGTofuBurger: to pray for the youth of the nation and of the world
NWYGTofuBurger: every day
NWYGTofuBurger: that one day there may be a great revival in our land
NWYGTofuBurger: and no longer will the world hinder us from praising God with all of our hearts and might
aznJsPoRtzGrL: wow
NWYGTofuBurger: i believe that there is great power in the prayers of youth that are united in purpose and in sincerity
NWYGTofuBurger: so i want to get as many people to pray with me
NWYGTofuBurger: and i have faith that the Lord will work miracles in this land
NWYGTofuBurger: i've been singing this song so much lately
NWYGTofuBurger: "Great Awakening"
NWYGTofuBurger: it's such a beautiful song
NWYGTofuBurger: and it's truly my prayer
aznJsPoRtzGrL: yeah
aznJsPoRtzGrL: i luv dat song

It might not make a whole bunch of sense the way I put it, but I think that you can get the point. There's only so much that the older generation can do. The growth of our faith is now our responsibility. Whether we like to believe it or not, we ARE the future and I truly believe that we ARE a chosen generation. One that will rise up above all the obstacles that hinder us and learn to fully rely on God once again. It may seem like a difficult task, but it's really not provided that we all take on our responsibilities. Let's bring revival to this land once again, Amen?

Finally back from friggin work. Just sat back, ate, and watched Andromeda (The absolute BEST god damned sci-fi TV show in the world!) So now I'm just sitting at my sister's computer once more and writing out the sad tale of my life. So I went to work today and it was so boring. Business completely sucked and I was basically sitting there for 11 hours... Friday night service yesterday was a dud. Sam didn't come. Hell, in fact almost nobody came besides the praise team. The whole congregation was just JDSN, Victoria, and Thomas... Stuff like that is very depressing for me. Maybe I should give up praise team. I don't think my heart is really in it anymore these days and it's not fair to the other kids if I'm not doing the best I can and giving my all. Hmm... it's something I'm going to have to think about a lot. In any case, I don't see me quitting the praise team in the real near future... maybe after this next year.

Well, I'm working on trying to start a band. Janice agreed to sign on and now I just need 2 vocalists, 1 more electric guitarrist, and a drummer. I think that's an acceptable team for the time being. Realistically, we won't be doing anything fancy for a while. The first 6 months to a year will probably consist of just song practicing and jam sessions to get our chemistry going. The band's focus? Hopefully it'll be a unified praise team that crosses denomination, church, race, and any other common barriers between fellow Christians. I was originally thinking of doing a secular band, but I concluded that it was a bad idea for me since I would be putting myself regularly into an unnecessarily bad environment... Well, I hope I can find more members and I pray that we can get this all started by the beginning of next year. If anybody is interested and lives in NYC (preferably...), just IM me or email me.

AIM: NWYGTofuBurger
Email: nwygtofuburger@paris.com

Man... so many things to do and so little time. I've got to start seriously doing my daily devotionals. I've really been neglecting it these days. Peter also popped a string on Friday so it looks like I'll have to play acoustic guitar tomorrow. Sometimes I seriously wonder where our praise team is going... I just get this strange feeling during our practices that tell me something is wrong. Hmm... maybe it's just me. In any case, I think I'll end this one here. Aiights then. Peace!

It's been a long week for me... Basically the last week of summer school. I'm so tired and stressed out right now. There are so many things that need to get done. On top of all that stuff, I had to bring my guitar (Ibanez JS100 AKA: "Cynthia") to the shop for repair. I'll get it back in about 3 weeks... The guitar tech found a crack in the body. Of all the guitars it could have happened to, it happened to the one that I personally love the most. <sigh> I also got into a major fight with my parents yesterday and this morning. I'm so tired of constantly yelling and trying to explain things to deaf ears... Whatever.

So at Victoria's request, I invited Sam Kang to come to our service this Friday night (tomorrow). He said that he'll come so it's all good. Actually my guitar teacher (Ken) might come as well provided that he's free for the evening. Hopefully he'll be able to give me some pointers that I can apply to my realistic performance. I've progressed quite a bit since I started playing, but it seems like the more I learn, the more I realize how much room I still have for growth. I need not only to grow in skill, but in maturity as well. I want to become a better musician overall. One who can remain cool under stress and have a clear mind in a cluttered environment. One who can act with a band as a unit, not being narrow minded, but seeing things from a broader perspective. My ambitions all seem so far away, but I know that they are just beyond my grasp at the moment and I need only to strive harder to achieve my goals in order to realize them.

One day, I will be a great guitarrist, a great musician, and a great person. That I can guarantee...

Now Listening To: "Turn The Tides" by 38th Parallel

So I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. For once, it hasn't been about the complete crappiness of life. Rather, I've been trying to figure out the bass line and the electric guitar riffs for "My Glorious" by Delirious. It's been coming along fairly well I think. I've almost got the whole bass line down and I'm about half way through the electric guitar part. It's all good. Just in case you haven't heard of 38th Parallel, they're a Christian band that does like a heavy rock style. It's sort've like Linkin Park in a way, but not. In any case, I love their songs. It's a nice way to pick myself up in the morning. You should either buy the album or download a couple of their tunes. Anyway, I also got the chords for "You Are My Hope" by Skillet and we'll hopefully practice it this Friday night and start playing it at service if people like it. It's such an awesome song... goes pretty high on the vocals though. =)

My sister and Kristy called me the other day from Florida. It sounds like their having a fun time. I would have never imagined that my sister would get along with Kristy and vice versa. They just seem so different. Well, I guess opposites attract?? Haha. Oh yeah, I went to Hallelujah this past Friday and Sunday. It was awesome. JFM really played well and the speaker (Che Ahn) just rocked. I also ran into some old buddies at FGNYC. It was definitely nice to see them again. I was like dead tired on Sunday because Jonah wouldn't sleep and when he did finally sleep, he kept moving around. He stayed over my house on Saturday and we slept on the floor because my guitar and cables and stuff were on my bed and I was too lazy to clean it up. It was mad funny when he came to my church Sunday morning because he kept on trying to play drums, but Sae Hoon would keep on kicking him off the drums whenever Jonah started playing. I almost felt sorry for him. XP

Just another week and a half or so left of summer school. I can't wait until it's over. I just want to relax a bit. Doesn't look like it'll happen though. We're moving in like two weeks or so. The new house is pretty small... I mean the whole house itself is a good size, but the fact that we're only using the second floor and renting out the first floor and basement bites. It's sort've like a 3 family house/condo gig... I'm not sure exactly how well it will work out, but hopefully it'll all be good and our tenants won't be complete freaks. My room is going to be dirt small, even smaller than the room I have now. Oh wells, I guess you've got to take what you can, right?

So much to do and so little time. So much to buy and so little money. That seems to be my life in a nutshell. Which reminds me that I have to remember to get to church early on Friday to tune up that new Evans EMAD head that I put on the kick-drum. I didn't have time to tune it because they were having this seminar thing when I installed it and I didn't want to bother them too much. Hopefully everything will work out and we won't have to stuff a damned blanket into the kick-drum again. I also have to get a razor knife to cut a hole in the front skin of the drum since I replaced that too. I wish the church would just buy us a brand new drumset... and a nice set of Paiste cymbals too. It would be cool if we could just get a couple thousand dollars to buy all of our equipment in one shot rather than put in $45 here and $15 there to buy this and that piece by piece. Between the cost of the sticks I buy that Sae Hoon breaks, picks, strings, and servicing for my guitars and other little gadgets and gizmos I buy, I burn up my allowance like nothing. I've really got to tell Sae Hoon to get his own set of sticks. He's broken like $40 worth of my sticks so far. He really has to change the way he hits those hats too. He hits them on the side with the side of the stick, which is why my sticks get messed up so quickly... I'm going to have to talk to him about it this Friday or at least some time in the near future.

Now Listening To: "My Glorious" by Delirious (but I'm listening to Chris Tomlin's version on the "Our Love is Loud" cd)

I think I need a break from Warcraft 3. I've been playing that game almost every free moment I've got. It's sucking what little life I have left out of me. But then again, does anyone really care if we become mindless zombies? Sometimes I wonder how much time the average American spends in front of his/her computer or television screen. Then take that number and compare it to how much time we spend in church, in prayer, in bible study, and in daily devotionals on average. I think that I can safely assume that our TV/Computer time far dwarfs the time we spend with God. Why is that now? Is it because we value the computer or TV more? Or is it simply because the computer and TV are seemingly far more accessible? Hmm... Something to think about. Why is it that people run all around because a team wins or loses a World Cup game, but Sunday mornings are so quiet and lifeless? Hmm... Something to think about...

Well, I think that's all I've got in me for today. I hope all of you guys in Florida have fun! =)