Darkcandles's Xanga

Working Families

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 04:24:53 GMT

I'm very slow at updating, but here goes :

PEOPLE WHO TAKE THEIR KIDS TO WORK

Not that it's a bad thing; it's just odd seeing people do this at 1 in the morning !!

I mean, don't these kids sleep ??

I find it charming, if not cute, to think that some people are SO BUSY ( and / or cheap ) that they'll skimp out on child care and take their kids with them whether they like it or not.

And, for their sakes, I hope they do like it because where else can you find hard working families taking their kids to work and treating it as quality time.

I'd like to meet people raised like that one day.

Hell, I am one of those people

Anyway, this is what I saw :

JUNE 23rd 12: 59 AM

Was filling up gas at the local station when I see a taxi driver pull up. I look inside to see his passengers ( I am curious, as you all are ) and it's his four year old daughter and 1 year old son.

JULY 15 12:15 AM

A group of cleaning ladies are gossiping and chatting while one of them holds their infant son
The way they make work look so chill is quite envious

AQUATIC PARK ON A DAILY BASIS

Whole families take their kids out and fish till 2 in the morning !!

so awesome to be raised like that ( I think )

more iffi - ness

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 04:59:15 GMT

I served a transvestite and her date and it was kinda nasty.

I think women turning into men is better than men turning into women because you could totally tell they were men with their square jaw, huge height, husky voice, etc.

Also, I have come to the conclusion that if you don't have the extra money to transgender, you shouldn't bother doing it at all.

It's actually worth getting the best meds, the best doctors, and the best surgery possible. ( otherwise you'll be stuck in between and that's ALWAYS nasty )

What's even nastier is that the guy thought the she-man was hot, like a 10, and he was shorter than her !!

so awkward !!

Due to popular demand....

Wed, 28 May 2008 04:13:27 GMT

I am back

Haven't been blogging for awhile, but a few ( one really ) peoples missed my wacky stories and so I guess I'll post a few for variety's sake.

Been busy like a bee (not that kind of busy though ) but am finally getting on top of things and getting shit done.

Go me....

Now w/o further ado, here are my

HOBO STORIES

Yeup, working at a restaurant down at the Tenderloin has its moments. I have forgotten how special, funny and rare they are ( I deal with this shit all the time, so I think nothing of it ) but you know, for the rest of the masses, this equals quality entertainment. Here goes :

April 29th 2008
   I'm working the tables and notice this big FAT slothful male in his early thirties looking for a free meal. I've seen this guy before, MULTIPLE TIMES, and frankly got sick of him coming to the restaurant, bothering the customers, and looking all sad and pathetic.

Seriously, he would walk up to customers at the door, give them a sob story, and expect some hand out.

He has used up all my patience, all my mother's patience, all my cousins's patience ( we're all waiters btw )
and even some of the customers patience

So, one night, as I was walking out I asked him :

"So, why is it that you come here all the time ?? "

" I like the food. It's good "

" Yeah, but you come here A LOT. I see you here quite often. Why don't you go somewhere else ? "

" Like where ? "

" Like St. Anthony's "

                                   ( St. Anthony's is a shelter for homeless people )

Then he gets offended and annoyingly says :

" Well,........ YOU should go to St. Anthony's "

" ........Excuse me ?? !! "

" You should go to St. Anthony's. "

" But I'm not homeless"

" Nor am I "

" But you come here all the time "

" Because I want to "

" but St. Anthony's can help you. They give you free food, shelter, and clothes ."

" No, I like it here. I like the way I live "

" What are you ? "

" An art student. " ( come on. really ??. that school is something he can never afford )

" Where at ? "

" The Academy of Art "

" What do you do ? "

" I draw. "

" Draw what ? "

" Stuff "

" Is it good ? "

" It's ok "

" Really ? "

" Uh huh "

" But seriously, you should go to St. Anthony's "

...................................................

And then he gets angry, again, tells me to go to St. Anthony's, again, and I tell him " I WILL "

I says to him

" You know what? I WILL go. I will go and I will tell you aaalllllll about it.

" Ok. "

" I'll write you a letter and get you some samples."

" Sounds good "

" And maybe you'll go there and check it out. "

" Maybe I will. "

" And leave us alone "

" that's right "

" Ok "

" Ok "

" See ya "

" Bye "

And then I walk away

Sadly enough, I still haven't gone to St. Anthony's, and the guy still comes to the restaurant and waits FOR HOURS for that ONE dish. ( what a waste of time )

Seriously, one of the worst things about working here is that everyone wants the good food

Even the weirdos

This is Anthony, signing out

Dumb Dog Joke

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 17:41:24 GMT

The man asks his dog one time :
         " How was your day ?? "

             " Ruff "
                                says the dog.

Get it ?? GOOD !!!

best bathroom graffitti ever !!

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 17:38:11 GMT

" Your Dumb "

found in a Haight Street Cafe

Damn this war, damn extremists, damn crazy mf'n ppl

Thu, 27 Dec 2007 18:23:29 GMT

Benazir Bhutto Assassinated

San Francisco summed up

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 02:03:04 GMT

When you walk through the streets of San Francisco, you feel that you are part of the drive and life of the city.

Nothing beats that.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 05:39:02 GMT

I'm sure you all know about the soulja boy song < Crank Dat soulja boy>, right ?

I'm sure you all think it's about flying and fun and superman right ?

WRONG

According to urban dictionary, superman means :

When you are mad at your girl for not having sex with you. So when she falls asleep you masturbate and cum on her back. After that, stick the bedsheet on to her back and when she wakes up it's stuck to the cum and she has a cape like Superman!!!

"Yo, dawg, Last night my bitch was being frothy so I have her a Superman"

now if you see the lyrics

[Chorus: x2]
Soulja Boy Off In This Hoe
Watch Me Crank It
Watch Me Roll
Watch Me Crank Dat Soulja Boy
Then Super Man Dat Hoe
Now Watch Me Do
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)
Now Watch Me yua!
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)
Now Watch Me yua!
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)
Now Watch Me yua!
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)

[Verse 1:]
Soulja Boy Off In This Hoe
Watch Me Lean And Watch Me Rock
Super Man Dat Hoe
Then Watch Me Crank Dat Robocop
Super Fresh, Now Watch Me Jock
Jocking On Them Haterz Man
When I Do Dat Soulja Boy
I Lean To The Left And Crank Dat thing
(Now Yua!)
I'm Jocking On Yo Bitch Ass
And If We Get The Fightin
Then I'm Cocking On Your Bitch
You Catch Me At Yo Local Party
Yes I Crank It Everyday
Haterz Get Mad Cuz
"I got me some bapes today"

[Chorus x2]

[Verse 2:]
I'm Bouncin On My Toe
Watch Me Super Soak Dat Hoe
I'ma Pass It To Arab
Then He Gon crank it up 4 sholl (sholl)
Haterz Wanna Be Me
Soulja Boy, I'm The Man
They Be Lookin At My Neck
Sayin Its The Rubberband Man (Man)
Watch Me Do It (Watch Me Do It)
Dance (Dance)
Let Get To It (Let Get To It)
Nope, You Can't Do It Like Me
Hoe, So Don't Do It Like Me
Folk, I See You Tryna Do It Like Me
Man That Shit Was Ugly

You get it ??

and the real kicker is this video

POOR KIDS !!!

anthony

What to do with a swarm of bees

Sat, 29 Sep 2007 03:28:55 GMT

You wouldn't believe it until you've seen it.

it's not what you say

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 22:08:12 GMT

but how you say it

Starbucks: Uh, sir. The bathroom is for customers. Are you going to buy something?

Customer: Yes. Mind if I shit first??

Starbucks:..................um, sure.

1st grader: Are you from China?

Teacher: No. Why?

1st grader: because you look like a china man