So it's been quite a while...I wish I could say things are going well but they're not. Two months ago, my mom left my dad for the 5th time...she left him for the maintenance man where she works. I feel guilty about this. I knew what was going on the months previous to her departure. I noticed she had another man...the long phone talks...the maintenance man jokes she said on the phone to this mystery person...I put every together, piece by piece and this is the end result. She left a week before I graduated. Yes, I graduated. Although I didn't walk across the stage or anything. I wasn't really feeling up to it, and no one in my family questioned it. So instead of attending my own graduation ceremony, I went with Adam to Wal-Mart and bought a graduation gift for myself...an 80 gb external hard drive. After that, we returned to ceremony when it was over and saw Dadiene and his family. We left with Amanda and her brother and went to her house for a graduation party...Adam sang the song by The Used "All That I've Got" during karaoke and it was really cool. Let's fast forward a bit...it's summer now. Recently, I've been hanging out with newer friends, yet a few old ones remain. Mostly, I've been hanging out with Victor, Adam, and Irvine but his girlfriend Renee and Nicole and Michael soon joined us. When I go to Dadiene's, I hang out with him, Johnny, and Eric because Jordan has mysteriously disappeared but I know he'll return. I'm having trouble finding a job, and getting my driver's license but that's cuz no one bothers to take me to take the test. Life is hard now. I get yelled at a lot by my dad...my mom wants me to live with her but I'm not so fond of her either. I feel like I'm not close to anyone anymore. I feel afraid that the person I finally get close to will hurt me in some way, because this has happened far too often. But I'm not gonna give up. I'm not gonna cry (although I have shed my fair share of tears) and complain and just call it a lost hope. I'll succeed somehow, I'll keep going. I notice people are looking at me with more respect, but I still wish certain others to respect me too. I'm glad people are trusting me, helping me. I can't act weak around them. Especially Dadiene and Johnny...I need to be strong for them, for them all. I'm having luck but not when I'm alone. I hate being alone. Absolutely hate it. It's been worse today, for I have nothing to do. I stood in line on friday night to get Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, I waited so long for that. I read it and it was absolutely amazing. But it saddens me that it's over now. *sigh* All well. Time to move on, as I so often am forced to do. Maybe there's more than meets the eye with me after all...not even I can know the answer to that. Victor's mother is in the hospital, sadly. He received a call from his sister yesterday morning while we were at Irvine's house and I went with Victor and Michael (who drove) to visit. I hate hospitals. I was very uncomfortable there...why do I fear them? Why do I hate them? I hope to find out one day...along with many other things about myself. I feel as if it's time for me to leave this place, whether it be time to move out or travel abroad. I can't do either of them, anyway, for at least a year. But when the time comes, I think I should. I have a feeling I should take some close friends and just...go. That's what I'm gonna do. And find out things I've been looking for for years...

I kinda just felt like changing things up a bit. The whole dark emo look that the My Chemical Romance background brought kinda started to bore me. Time to lighten things up with AFI and Decemberunderground. Anyway, things have been going pretty good. I haven't really updated this thing in forever. It's kinda weird, cuz I used to update constantly. Well, ok. Back to basics. Haha. Christina Aguliera...anyway. Today, I woke up at around noon and went to Wal-Mart with my mom, dad, Janae, and my cousins Natasha and Shaila. We stopped at Jose's on the way and ate lunch. I didn't eat all mine cuz I wasn't that hungry so I took my food with me. We went to Wal-Mart and yeah, you know. Commented on some CD's and stuff. Turns out both cousins plus my sister dislike 30 Seconds To Mars. Good children. After that, we went to Best Buy where I helped my dad buy a new computer for himself. Then, we went to the mall so I could go to FYE and return my My Chemical Romance: The Black Parade CD I got for Christmas (I had it already). So my mom, Janae, Shaila, Natasha, and I go in. I exchanged for AFI: Sing the Sorrow. We came home and I activated our wireless network so my dad could get his internet fix. After that, I played Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door for a few hours. I bought that yesterday for $20. I was waiting for the price to go down. I didn't wanna pay $50 for it when it came out. I'm too cheap. Anyway, after that I decided to call Amanda. Yeah, I called her and ended up talking on the phone with her till 1:00 in the morning, which is where I currently am. As of late, I don't feel so bad about not owning CDs yet still suspiciously having them on my iPod. I went out and bought a bunch with my Christmas money. I bought AFI: Decemberunderground, AFI: Sing the Sorrow, All-American Rejects: Move Along, and the Taking Back Sunday: Louder Now Partone DVD. That DVD is hilarious. The guys in the band are such idiots. Most of the DVD is just them acting stupid. Made me feel better about myself. Lol. Wow, this entry is turning out longer than I thought. I wonder if Prince Rudolph Zeppellin III is reading this...yes, you. Haha. Anyway, I'm supposed to go to my mom's cousin's house tomorrow so her and her husband can give us our Christmas gifts since they couldn't give them to us on Christmas. I really don't wanna go. I'm gonna see if I can stay home. I have been kinda sick after all. I feel like I'm getting increasingly sick, but then again, sometimes I feel like I'm getting better. Hm, I don't know. Whatever. Wow, this is cool. I'm just rambling on. Dadiene finally got back from Texas today, where he went to see family for Christmas. He was supposed to come back 2 days ago but all well. Tomorrow is New Year's Eve and I have absolutely nothing planned. How sad. I'm gonna spend New Year's alone. Terrible. Tragic. Yes. I know....I don't make sense....I make dollars. That sounds kinda like a Fall Out Boy song..."I don't make sense, I make dollars" Lol. Yeah. I'll write a song and name it that just for the heck of it. Heck yes. Hott action. Sweet action. Welllllll....maybe I should go. The reason I'm not on the phone with Amanda is because she wanted me to get some sleep so I can get over my sickness. So I'll abide by her words of wisdom and go do that. So long and goodnight. May God send you a sturdy donkey.

Heck yes...we had a snow day. Yet that doesn't make me happy.

Hm, well, I would talk about my personal life here, but I'm not so sure I can trust this place anymore. Family members may see it...which would be bad. So I'll just say...things are great.

P.S. Summer of '06 will go down as one of the greatest summers of my life. I miss every moment of it =(

Today was pretty cool. I went to the mall and got a My Chemical Romance shirt that says "The Black Parade" across the front. I wanna get that CD so bad. The song "Welcome to the Black Parade" is pretty dang cool. I also got a cool hat. I have officially named it "Hott Action Hatt" and it's cooler than you.