Davidjroth2002's Xanga

"I'm Gonna Add Some Bottom..." Stroke Update for 7.18.08

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 11:13:57 GMT

Check it out! Two updates in the same week! Let me ‘splain where I am in the recovery process. I can move my arm now without having to always look at it. I am doing fairly well with the mechanics of walking, often without the third leg. However, it is still an issue that the only thing I can feel at the surface level on my left side is a small bit of sensation on the fingertips of the first three fingers of my left hand, and a fleeting sense of tickling when the palm of the left hand is scratched. Fingertips isn’t exactly accurate. The entire first digit of those three fingers and the thumb have some surface tactile sensation. The other two digits of those fingers do not, and there is no sensation and little control in the pinky. Believe me, that makes typing a challenge! I do a lot of ‘fitzin’ as I go.

That said, it is nothing short of miraculous that I can walk when I can’t feel the left leg at all. The closest thing I feel to sensation on that leg is that when I walk it feels like I’m stepping on a two inch thick pad on the left side. I feel deep muscle pain when I stretch, and the thigh muscles burn when I’m exercising - walking, whatever. He truly amazing thing is that the brain can remember/re-learn the mechanics of walking even in the absence of sensation! The three pounds of gray matter God designed to make the billions of cells, miles of nerves and blood vessels, hundreds of muscles and bones, and the organs, systems, and connections that put it all together is indeed an incredible miracle!

So, that all said, yesterday was another giant leap forward – for me, if not for mankind. Therapy keeps progressing and now both PT and OT are adding strength and endurance to the mix. Yesterday I did 6 minutes forward and backward on the arm cycle at maximum resistance, and 3 sets of 10 reps each at 30 pounds two different exercises on the weight machine (OT) and 15 minutes at level 2 on the bicycle (PT).

But the big news is that I went to worship team rehearsal last night, and played my bass for a little over an hour before my left hand ached so much I had to stop. That continues to be an issue. So much use, and the hand says time to stop, either by cramping, aching, locking up or, as with last night, all three. I’m not ready for a 3 hour gig, but I can do the 30 minute worship set every other week, and that’s the first time since the stroke! The first time ! tried to play at home, it lasted about 30 seconds before it hurt so much I had to quit, so this is a huge improvement! God is Good!

So there you have it – two in the same week! Please continue to keep us in your prayers, and especially Linda. This is in many ways more difficult for her than it is for me.

Dave's Playdate - Stroke Update for 7.16.08

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 10:14:04 GMT

Linda called it “Dave’s PlayDate” when she put it down on the calendar. The specific parametrical details were listed as “13:00 hours to 17:00 hours” yesterday after therapy, which continues to evolve from week to week.

Physical Therapy (PT) has been concentrating on stretching the hamstrings (back of thigh) and quadriceps (front of thigh), balance and attaining an even walking gait, while Occupational Therapy (OT) has been concentrating on building up endurance and strength on the left side especially

Usually I rest when I get home afterwards, but yesterday was a departure from the norm.

Two years ago Linda talked me into attending a weekly Bible study group called Community Bible Study. It’s a non-denominational group that meets once a week. There is a specific designed study, and there are discussion leaders, but no real ‘right’ answers. In fact, the interpretation of any given study passage, while somewhat directed by the prepared discussion questions, is pretty much left up to the individual. Other than an evangelical understanding of the doctrine of salvation (John 3:16, 14:6, Romans 3:23, 6:23, Ephesians 2:8-9), there are no ‘official’ answers. On any given night with any given group there can be as many translations of the Bible and as many denominations present as there are participants in the study. I like to joke that even among Baptist Scholars (my personal background) if you ask any ten of them the same question, you’ll get eleven answers.

I lead the Men’s group. I’ve become good friends with many of the attendees, including the man who was discussion leader for the men’s group before me. The week I got home from the hospital this gentleman emailed me with the offer to break up some of the tedium of me day by getting together over coffee, or going to a garden, or whatever if I were so inclined.

Yesterday he picked me up and we set out to explore the Phipps Conservatory, a beautiful multi-room arboretum and outdoor botanical garden on the campus of the University of Pittsburgh. I’d been there three times before, but each time in October. Their theme changes each season, and this was the first time I’d seen the Summer displays.

I love places like this – especially with my camera. When I lived in Lansing, Michigan, I would often go to the Beal Botonical Garden, Rose Garden or Children’s Horticultural Garden at Michigan State University, or to the Frederick Meijer Gardens in Grand Rapids. In Fort Meyers, Florida, I’d go to one of the many nature preserves in the area like the 6-mile Cypress Slough Preserve or, the J.N. ‘Ding’ Darling National Wildlife Preserve on Sanibel Island. When I lived in the Netherlands, places like Keukenhof and Floriade got my attention. I took nearly 100 snaps yesterday. Love my Nikon D1x digital SLR! It’s an oldie, but hey – it works for me! I’ve included links to the main web pages for all these places in the paragraph above. Just click on the name and it should take you to them..

In fact the only down side to the whole event was the one we anticipated. Walking around these warm, humid glassed in arboretums and gardens for nearly three hours in the summer sun right after therapy pretty much wiped me out. My left leg is as stiff as a freshly starched collar today! Otherwise, life moves on.

I expect to hear from the neurologist this week to schedule the next CT scan, the results of which will determine the schedule for the MRI and angiogram, the results of which will determine treatment protocol.

I’m still basically without sensation on my left side, although therapy is helping to retrain my unfeeling side (go ahead – this is the place where you insert the requisite joke) to so things even when I can’t feel them. I am still of work, and still not permitted to drive, but then hey – I’m half the man I used to be – tactilely speaking. Tomorrow I’ll be attending my first worship team rehearsal since the stroke. If all goes well, I’ll be playing with the team on Sunday.

I’m getting back into the swing of trying creative cookery. Last week I created a pasta salad with poached salmon, roasted veggies and a nice honey-dijon vinaigrette, all my own ideas, and if all goes well, I have this idea for marsala chicken salad served in puff pastry cups or filo cups that I want to try this weekend.

As always, Linda is the best! I truly don’t know what I’d do without her. In many ways this is harder on her than it is on me. All I have to do is heal. She has to do what she always does, plus what I would usually do, PLUS put up with me! Please keep her especially in your prayers. She is simply awesome!

So – there you have it – this week’s update. Backatcha laters!

PS You can see my pictures from yesterday here.

Ivy Rain

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 10:56:42 GMT

Ivy Rain

By David Roth

A sea of glistening leaves,

swept in swells and troughs

by the brisk sentinel

that heralds the coming storm,

and they cling tenaciously,

like shiny green post-it notes

to the brick and mortar

of my shelter.

But then the rains come,

dancing on the wind,

a steady, thrum of applause

rolling, like the muted cadence

of thousands of tiny, tapping shoes,

across the echoing stage

of a sea of emerald rooftops.

And a Cardinal,

resplendent in crimson gown

blesses the sonorous chorus

of sparrows, finches and jays

huddled beneath the bristling carpet;

festive, antiphonal choir,

accompanied by the music of living nature

And then the rains come,

dancing on the wind,

a steady, thrum of applause

rolling, like the muted cadence

of thousands of tiny, tapping shoes,

across the echoing stage

of a sea of emerald rooftops.

Soothing, subtle, somnambulant,

I drift with the blissful tide.

Two of Us

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 12:39:30 GMT

Do any of you also have Red Box as an option to rent DVD's in your area? It's a clever concept. A big rod box with mostly new and recent release movies for a buck a night. In our area, they're at grocery stores, mostly outside so you have 24-hour access.

A while back I started trying to get a film a friend recommended to me because I'm such a Beatles geek The film is called Across the Universe and features 31 Beatles tunes - some of them full length, some nothing more than a line of dialogue (Sadie: "Where'd she come from?" Jude: "She came in through the bathroom window.") None performed by the Beatles.

It's an interesting film placed during the turbulent 60's, and worth the viewing for the clever use of the music and interesting choreography, and it got me thinking, so I went looking through my Beatles stuff. Linda didn't recognize many of the songs most of which were from Hey Jude, Let It Be, Abby Road and the White album, so I spent much of the viewint telling her which one the bit came from. That got me looking for the title song, Across the Universe, which comes from Get Back, and leads me to this next bit - a video of another song from Get Back, which originally appeared on the official Beatles web page. Slap on your ear phones, and enjoy this brilliantly delightful look at the past, John, Paul, and George in their prime: Two of Us. Enjoy.

Stroke Update 7-2-08

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 16:31:30 GMT

Hi there,

Linda says it’s my turn to post this again, so here goes. First, the bit I know you really read this for. It’s 79° and mostly sunny here in da ‘Burgh.

Today is that rarest of creatures – Linda has the day off, but doesn’t have to actually take me anywhere. Since I came home from the hospital, here days off have mostly coincided with my therapy days. I am still not permitted to drive, so Linda has to take me pretty much everywhere. Yesterday was far more typical – I had therapy and a doctor’s appointment, Linda had the day off to play chauffer. I have therapy again tomorrow, but Linda has to work after we get back. The trade-off this week is that she gets the 4^th off, and for the first time in 4 weeks, she gets to go to church Sunday. On the down side, Linda is the hardest working, best natured, most productive person in her department. Naturally, this diligence has not gone unnoticed nor unrewarded. So far, she’s been demoted and turned down for a lead position while the department whiner got the job. On the other hand, so far every other department lead has either quit, transferred or gotten fired within 6 months.

Therapy goes well. I’m still frustrated by what from day to day seems to be little or no improvement, but as I mentioned before, from week to week or month to month, the changes are extraordinary! For example, three weeks ago, the Occupational Therapist did this bit of tossing me a tennis ball. First, catch with both hands and throw back with the good hand. Then, catch with the good hand and throw back with the bad hand. These went very well for me. At the part of the exercise where I catch and throw back with the bad hand, well things sort of fell apart. The ball would ricochet off my palm before I could close my hand to catch it. Yesterday was very different. Yesterday I caught the ball repeatedly – 8 for 10 – with my bad hand! The therapist says he’s going to need something harder next time.

Walking is getting better. Last week I rewired the plug on our mower, and tried to mow the front lawn. I made it about two passes and had to stop. I, of course, blame it on the fact that I had therapy earlier in the day and was just tired. Linda, who is more realistic and objective says I was being a stubborn jerk and overdoing it.

Linda is probably correct.

I also took a look at our ceiling fan that needs a switch replaced. Normally, I could do this – it’s a simple rewiring job, but my sense of balance is still too uncertain, so that got left undone for the time being.

The doctor I saw yesterday is the one who was the attending for the rehab unit where I lived for a little over three weeks while learning how to eat, pee, wash, dress, and walk back in May. She says the difference in the 6 weeks since she last saw me is phenomenal! However, she did write a script for therapy at least through the end of August.

I shot pictures Sunday at the big celebration day at church, but am still not playing in the worship band. Getting closer, but not quite there yet.

Cooking is coming back slowly, mostly because I can’t feel on the left side, and the risk of chopping off a finger I might need when the feeling returns is still fairly good. Still, I am making chicken salad from scratch today – not from a can – and that’s a first for me.

Therapy again tomorrow, and Friday is the 4^th. Enjoy your holiday, and please keep Linda and me in your prayers,

Oh – one other bit of news. After a lifetime of paying the bloody tax, Social Security sent me a letter yesterday informing me that I’m not eligible for benefits. So, I’m unemployed, uninsured, and ineligible for medicaid because in my current state of unemployment I’m making too much money for that, and ineligible to collect either SSI or SSD from a fund into which I’ve paid for over 40 years. I’m thinking seriously of burning my passport, leaving the country and reentering as an illegal, and petitioning my duly elected Democrat senators for those same benefits. I hear my odds are better that way.

OK – off the soapbox.

Dave

Intra-Cerebral Cat

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 18:32:34 GMT

Intra-Cerebral Cat

By David Roth

Suddenly,

with no advance warning,

like a sneak attack

of a bucket of thread-worn clichés,

and there he was.

Sitting at the foot of the bed,

grooming himself,

but only for a moment,

before he walked up

and rubbed his head

against my hand,

waiting to be scratched,

just like he always did.

My bad hand.

The one rendered insensitive

and inoperative by the stroke.

The one I suffered the previous afternoon.

The one that still doesn’t feel anything

two months later.

I closed my eyes

and he was gone.

Until I reopened them,

and saw that he was still sitting there

rubbing his head

against the hand that couldn’t feel it.

He kept coming back

On and off for a couple of weeks

After the stroke.

There on my hospital bed,

thirteen miles

and two rivers removed from home;

a daily journey

made even more difficult

by the fact that he died

six weeks before I had my stroke.

Henry died at the age of about fifteen or so six weeks before my stroke. The neuro-surgeon said the daily episodes were probably triggered by brain tissue swelling near the part of the brain responsible for short term memories associated with deep felt emotion. Losing Henry, while not unexpected, was quite traumatic, none-the-less.

Event Horizon

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 11:23:03 GMT

Event Horizon

By David Roth

Stroke + 66 Days

Tedium.

Frustration.

Magnified monotony

and quantum aggravation.

Quixotic endeavor,

tilting at windmills

just beyond reach

as eee equals em see squared

and the solution hovers

just beyond the edge of sensation,

light and hope

glimmering on the rim

of the black hole of reality,

await the victor.

It just gets gooder, don't it?

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 15:08:36 GMT

What a change from when I wrote a week ago. It was mid 70’s on the way to almost 90° and very humid. Today, already fairly late in the day, it’s reached the predicted high of 63° and it’s raining a little. Overnight low last night and tonight in the mid 50’s, and you have the making of a delightful break from the steamy hot weather of the past couple of weeks. Given that we don’t have A/C in most of the apartment, and this is a wonderful change. A nice steaming mug of tea, a little Ellington, and a good book make it perfect! In the event you’re even remotely interested, I’m reading Seizure by Robin Cook.

All that said, it’s my guess that you’re not reading this to get the Pittsburgh weather report.

If you read Linda’s wee missive yesterday, you already know some of this. Therapy started at 8:00 am, which is earlier than usual so that made for a long day. The highlight of the day was the meeting with the neurosurgeon. Here’s the main points.

After a brief once over, he decided on the following course of action. First, he will continue with the current regimen of BP meds. He wants an additional 10 points off the systolic (upper) number so that at worst it never crosses 125. Currently it remains in toe 120’s most of the time but last night, for example, it was 141/72. The 72 is OK but the 141 is way too high. He also wants me to lose 20 pounds which he says will help with the BP numbers.

Next he said he wanted me to have another CT scan in a month to make certain any bleeding has been reabsorbed and any swelling has subsided. Once that has been verified, there will be a discussion with the neurology/neurosurgical staff set the next steps. His receptionist misheard him and I ended up having the CT scan yesterday. If that shows good news, we move forward. Here’s what that involves:

An all-day session in radiology so they can do an MRI while they do an angiogram through my neck this time instead of through my groin. Also, this time they go deep into the brain to find the exact location of the injury, and determine specifically what kind it is. That will determine treatment; whether cold laser or focused radiation. Either way, the anesthesiologist will be present. I get the choice of being awake while he’s taking the scenic route through my brain, or being put under. Since I completely wigged out the last time they did an MRI – I had a major league anxiety attack – I think I’ll opt to just sleep through the whole thing. Here’s the thing (As Monk would say) – They were just scanning then, not snaking a tube up into my brain. I’m pretty sure I couldn’t sit still for the hour or so that the Doc says will be involved. Oh yeah – the procedure could trigger another stroke. On the plus side, it’d the only way to do this without opening my head up and diving deep into the central part, which might not work anyway because the afflicted area could be hard to find that way. All-in-all this is the least invasive way to locate the site of the damage, but it is clearly not without its complications.

All that said, I was pleased to get a bit of a feel for what’s involved. He also said that this kind of stroke, while certainly inconvenient, is almost never fatal, the operative word being ‘almost’. I mean, the odds of my having this second stroke were less than ½ of 1%, so all things considered, I’d rather take the chance at fixing it, scary as that is, than playing ‘wait and see’ for another four years.

So – that’s my take. We’ll keep you posted. Thanks for all of your prayers and good wishes. It is my firm belief that the prayer and the grace of God are while I’m still alive. Our specific prayer is for complete healing before they have to do surgery. If He wishes to do so, God can . It’s that simple

Baby Steps

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 12:42:05 GMT

It is a perfectly delightful morning here in Pittsburgh. The current temperature is 74° degrees headed for a high of 85°. It was even cool enough overnight that we turned our little 5,000 btu window A/C unit off, opened the window and ran a fan. It is a short lived break from the heat and humidity we’ve been experiencing, but we’ll take it!

Linda usually does these updates, but she’s at work right now, and, well, while the cat’s away, as it were…

Yesterday was therapy day. I go on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s. Physical therapy - learning how to walk again - is usually first, generally followed by Occupational Therapy – learning how to dress myself, feed myself, shower, pee, hopefully regain the skills to go back to work. It is, gently put, a circus of baby steps; frustrating in their individuality, but rewarding in their totality. Let me try to explain.

Many of you know that I had a similar stroke 4 years ago. Similar, but different in many regards. I hope this table translates well to e-mail and group postings.

2004 Stroke

2008 Stroke

Cause

Intracerebral hemorrhage resulting from high blood pressure

Intracerebral hemorrhage resulting from high blood pressure although other things are possibly involved, particularly, congenital birth defect that caused a cavernous malformation or A/V malformation in a blood vessel

Various Effects

Reduced range of motion mobility in left arm and leg
loss of tactile sensation in patch about the size of the diameter of a baseball just above my left knee
trouble with sense of spatial awareness - I’d walk into door frames on the left hand side thinking I was in the center of the opening.
no appreciable loss in speech, cognitive, or memory centers
I walked into the ER, and walked out 2 days later
returned to work in 6 weeks with 1-3 years anticipated for full recovery

No real loss of range of motion
entire left side is numb on the surface
lose of spatial awareness specific to left side – in other words, I have to see me left arm and left leg to know where they are and what they’re doing.
no appreciable loss in speech, cognitive or memory centers
wheeled into the ER on a gurney, 1 week in ICU followed by 3 weeks on the Therapy floor
no return to work anticipated until first of the year (9 months after event) with 3-5 year full recovery projected after surgery.

Lots more therapy this time around, but that’s where the baby steps are really happening.

For example, I can walk unassisted now, but still have the occasional balance issues. That’s a big part OF pt – walking while the therapist tries to knock me off balance, which is really sort of funny to watch. I’m 5’8” tall and weigh about 195 pounds – lost 20 in the hospital – and my physical therapist is about 5’5” and maybe 12 pounds, but she’s a strong, tough little bird. When I suggested to Kate (the therapist) that she does what she does because she just likes beating up old men, her response was that she doesn’t discriminate – she’ll beat up on any guy regardless of their age. While the little picture view is that I still need a lot more therapy, the big picture view is that a month ago when I was released from the hospital I needed the walker or cane. I don’t now. I also needed the elevated potty seat with railings a month ago. As of yesterday, that’s history too.

I can play my bass now, but I still have to look at my fingers. If I look away – to glance at music, for example, my hand shifts on the neck, and I’m playing the wrong notes.

I’m actually typing this. It’s s struggle with lots or corrections, but hey – as little as a couple of weeks ago I couldn’t do this much! And that’s the big thing I have to keep reminding myself – not to get so frustrated over the progress – or seeming lack thereof, but rather make comparisons to weeks and in a few cases, months to see the differences. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said stuff like – “Whoa – I couldn’t do that a week ago!” Or a month ago, or whatever.

Still a long way to go. Next week I see the neurosurgeon to schedule an MRI and angiogram to pinpoint the exact location of the malformation. All that’s really known is that it’s deep brain. From that a decision about treatment – read brain surgery – will be made – either cold laser or focused radiation. Zit’s mostly a non-invasive process – they shouldn’t have to poke holes in my head (like they could) which reduces the prospect of global Vacuum problems as a result, but it’s still scary.

On the keep me in your prayers side, we’ve been turned down for medical assistance because I made so much money during the 14 days of April that I worked prior to the stroke that we’re over the minimum. We’ve applied for SSI and SSD, but that takes time. And then there’s the whole brain surgery thing.

Anyway, there you are – my current perspective on things for those still keeping score. For what it’s worth, as Streisand once sang, “I’m still here.”

By Right of Will - a Review

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 11:59:05 GMT

I originally wrote this review a year ago – 4^th June 2007, to be exact. I think it bears revisiting with the wee addition (bold and italicized) at the end.

“One more, dear...one more,” the midwife urged.

With these words author Lorrieann Russel takes us back to the beginning. 29^th May, 1588, Fylbrigge Manor, Aberdoir Scotland, and the birth of her hero, William Fylbrigge. This is literally the place where it all begins. The birth of the child, and the death of the mother, and when the father soon follows, the real adventure begins.

On his deathbed, Henry Fylbrigge decrees that when the child William reaches his twelfth birthday, he will be fostered by Edward Stonehaven; Edward of Drumoak, the Duke and friend Henry served.

Twelve years later, the child arrives at Stonehaven, thin, undernourished, and frightened for his life of the Duke he’d been raised to believe ate small children for breakfast, and drank their blood to wash down the meal.

Instead what he found was a loving foster father and a lifelong friend in young Sean Wilburn, a lad not much older than himself. It would take some doing on all their parts to overcome the nightmares of Aberdoir, but overcome them they would, and in the end, a legend would be born – the legend of William Fylbrigge

Lorriane Russel paints a masterful canvas full of crisp colors and broad, sweeping strokes in this ‘prequel’ to the stories that began with My Brother’s Keeper, and continued with In the Wake of Ashes. By Right of Will is a fitting tale that stands on its own, yet adds to the stories already told. Unlike so many other sequels and prequels, this one delivers. It is a story full of surprises with every turn of the page, and it is indeed a page turner.

Here you’ll learn where William learned of the old ways. You’ll see the friendship; the vow to ‘watch your back’ that develops between Sean and William. You’ll learn why Adrian Tearlach hates Sean and William, and you’ll see the first inklings of love between William and Mehlindia.

This is a great story well told by a master story teller. You won’t want to put it down until you’ve finished, and then you’ll want to go back and read it again.

I’ll add one further thought. I’m a fan of serialized fiction. I come to look at certain characters with familiarity, if not a sense of camaraderie. Still, most of the time when I’ve finished the latest chapter in the life of Alex Cross, Eve Dallas, L’estat, Jack Ryan, Sean Dillon or even Harry Potter, I put the book down and move on. Not so Ms. Russel’s creation. When I finished reading the manuscript for By Right of Will (back when it was still called By Right of Blood) I felt a great sense of loss – as if I were saying goodbye to dear and well loved friends. Not many books do that for me – not even the great Harry Potter.