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Thursday, February 05, 2004

MOVED TO PeAcHeS_n_CrEaM05

11:45 PM - add eprops - 1 comment - email it

Saturday, January 10, 2004

3 Wishes
Three blondes were walking along the beach when they spied something buried in the sand. Digging it out, they discovered that it was a magic lamp. When they rubbed the lamp, a genie appeared, who thanked them for rescuing him from his imprisonment, and offered each of them one wish. "I wish to be smart," the first blonde said, and POOF! She became a redhead. "I wish to be smarter than her!" exclaimed the second blonde, and POOF! She became a bunette. The third blonde, not to be outdone, said "I wish to be dumber than I already am!" and POOF! She became a man. 3 Wishes
Three blondes were walking along the beach when they spied something buried in the sand. Digging it out, they discovered that it was a magic lamp. When they rubbed the lamp, a genie appeared, who thanked them for rescuing him from his imprisonment, and offered each of them one wish. "I wish to be smart," the first blonde said, and POOF! She became a redhead. "I wish to be smarter than her!" exclaimed the second blonde, and POOF! She became a bunette. The third blonde, not to be outdone, said "I wish to be dumber than I already am!" and POOF! She became a man.

9:33 PM - 8 eprops - 4 comments - email it

You shouldn't mess with kids...
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

These were just too cute for words! </object></layer></div></span><style></style></noscript></table> </applet> var PUpage="76001072"; var PUprop="geocities"; var yviContents='http://us.toto.geo.yahoo.com/toto?s=76001072&l=NE&b=1&t=1073787687';yviR='us';yfiEA(0); geovisit(); <noscript><img src="http://visit.webhosting.yahoo.com/visit.gif?us1073787687" alt="setstats" border="0" width="1" height="1"><noscript></noscript> <IMG SRC="http://geo.yahoo.com/serv?s=76001072&t=1073787687" ALT=1 WIDTH=1 HEIGHT=1>

9:23 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it

Potentially?

*This reading is not recomended for readers under the age of 13*

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?"

The father thought for a moment and said, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with brad pit for a million dollars. Then go ask your brother if he would sleep with tom cruise for a million dollars; come back and tell me what you learned from that."

So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars?"

The mother replied "Of course I would I wouldn't pass up an opportunity like that." The boy went to his sister and asked "Would you sleep with Brad Pit for a million dollars?" The girl replied "Would I? I would have to be nuts to pass up that opportunity!" The boy went to his brother and asked "Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars?" The brother replied "Of course do u know how much a million dollars is?"

The boy pondered for a few days, then went back to his dad.

His father asked him "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?"

The boy replied "Yes sir! Potentially we're sitting on 3 million dollars, but realistically were living with 2 sluts and a fag."

9:07 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it

I went to a party..

I went to a party mom
I remembered what you said
You told me not to drink
So I drank soda instead

I felt real proud inside mom
The way you said I would
I didnt drink
Even though my friends said I should

I know I did the right thing mom
I know youre always right
Now the party is finally ending
As everyone drove out of sight

As I got inside my car mom
I knew Id get home in one piece
Because of the way you made me
So responsible and sweet

I started to drive away mom
As I pulled onto the road
The other car didnt see me
It hit me like a load

As I lay here on the pavement mom
I hear the policeman say
The other man was drunk
And now I have to pay

Im lying here dying mom
I wish youd get here soon
How come this happened to me
My life burst like a balloon

There is blood all around me mom
Most of it is mine
I hear the parametic say
Ill die in a very short time

I just wanted to tell you mom
I swear I didnt drink
It was the others
The others didnt think

He didnt know where he was going mom
He was probably at the same party as I
Hhe only difference is
He drank and I will die

Why do people drink mom
It can ruin your whole life
Im feeling sharp pains now
Pains just like a knife

Tell my brother not to cry mom
Tell daddy to be brave
When im up in heaven
Write daddys baby on my grave

Someone should have told him mom
Not to drink and drive
If only they had taken the time
I would still be alive

My breath is getting shorter mom
Im becoming very scared
Please dont cry for me
Because when I needed you, you were always there

I have one last question mom
Before I say goodbye
I didnt drink
So why am I to die

This is the end mom
I wish I could look you in the eye
To say these final words
I LOVE YOU AND GOODBYE

9:05 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it

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