i went to th show...i saw him...i like him..i kno i shouldnt...but i do...maybe i'm playing mylself...i dont know...maybe one day i'll be able to talk to him...just me...and him...until then...i need to find something to keep me from cutting...

Currently Listening Commit This to Memory By Motion City Soundtrack **you hold me down** see related

~The Groove~

~Friday~

At school: I went to the end of the year party at my school. I hated it. I don't know why but there was this overwhelming feeling that's I had. I felt like I was out of place and I just shouldnt have been there. My friends really wanted me to get a memory picture but I just didn't wanna be involved. It wasnt that I didnt wanna be with them it's was just....that...if I was in it then it would've made the picture be incomplete or a lie. People at school keep having these love issues 2 and I guess that was another reason I was getting sick of Hazelwood kids(specific people). Sometimes I just wanna shake them and say "I'm so sorry that you're stupid, but I am not your fucking cupid." I know that's mean but I'm not gonna apologize for having an honest opinion. I mean I can understand people dumping other, but c'mon know exactly what you're losing and be aware of what you're doing.taylor even kissed Darrick so I knew I had 2 leave!!

At the groove:I went with Amber(my asian persuasion) and Tay Plum. We saw all of our friends like the whole jeny band. We evensaw the fabulous BROOK!! YAY!!! I LOVE HER!!!We saw CALEB!!! YAY!!, Brian, Candice(brook's cool friend),Whitley and her cool ass b/f,CODY!!! YAY!!! and LANE!! YAY!!! I have got to find all of their myspaces wth Brook and Amber's help!! It's our mission!!!**changes into super hero costume** I'm off!! **flys away** I even got to meet the whole Not quite superheroes band and i even bought a shirt and I got to hug the lead singer and dance to eighties music with his g/f!!! She even called me a good dancer cuz she's awesome like that!! Brian introduced me to people and said hey u need to meet this kid cuz he is awesome!! I feel soo loved!!! We even rapped the emo song(as well as others) and I really wish Amber would've joined in but she was doing her job to stay with Taylor. I really didnt ditch her or anything and I was really trying to bring her into the conversation like I did amber cuz they both are my friends and i want them to my friends. I was kinda playin the role of mother Teresa.(just black and younger) Oh well at least I did one thing right cuz they love Amber just as much as I do!!!

mission accomplished!!!

well g2g my partners in crime!!

who loves you more than, ~brandon~

Currently Listening Make Love to the Judges With Your Eyes By Pony Up **shut up and kiss me** see related

SERIOUS SIDE: the truth is...I could never love him more...i always wanna kno what he's feeling...or thinking...i dont think that makes me a bad person at all...maybe this time my knight in shining armor wont turn out to be a fatass loser in aluminum foil...i must be a mess of insecurities...

GOOD SIDE: Today Brook and I made jokes about the size of Chel8c's boobs!! We even made a baywatch skit about a person drowning in the water and us running in slow motion so we can admire our bodies and we end up forgetting about the drowning person and the die. here it is:

Me: Holy Cockerspaniels guys!!! There's person drowning on the beach!!

Brooke:Omfg!! You're right Brandon!!We must do something!!

Chel*c:I know!! Lets go save him while running slowly along the beach so we admire my big boob's Brooke's huge butt and Brandon's enormously large penis!!!

All: TALLEY HO!!!

Narrator(Ericka): The attractive lifeguards spring into action and run after the drowning man. While dashing the see a mirror and stop to look at how freakishly attractive they are. As two hours go by the lifeguards have 4gotten all about the victim who is now...dead!!

~Anyways i beat jordan and brooke at paper rock scissors becuz they both said rock and i said RAINBOW!!! Everyone knows rainbows win soo haha brook and jordan haha u knew better than 2 mess with the power of the rainbow.

wellz i g2g lov 2 all

p.s. only gay people can call rainbow during paper rock scissors!!

p.s.s. i really liked talkin to u yesterday dax! i hope u feel better* smiles like a moron*

dear diary (long time no update)

Are we all damaged? Could that hott guy/girl that seems so perfect to us...really have normal problems like a normal person? I mean we've all seen couples that seem "perfect" fight sometimes. From the high school sweethearts to the married couples, they all seem to have their problems.I guess the rumor is true: nobody's perfect.

Are single guys/girls the enemies of non-single guys/girls? Really have u ever noticed how different peole act when they've found a potential boyfriend or girlfriend? They have this way of making you fell like you'll never have like they do. They even have this give you the "damn!-you're-gonna-die-alone" look.(i hate that look)I swear what is it about being single that makes people who arent single look at you weird? I guess it's one of life's mysteries of dating.

wellz g2g i got 2 get Smiles(my friend) off of my bed

lata!!!