DemonsOfTheSoulX555's Xanga

CW:166.6

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 22:45:02 GMT

EDIT

so life fuckin sux.

i made a yr and two days and i fucked up today, i cut.

what the hell is my problem, i got high all weekend and had a threesome and got a hickey and ive got to go to court tomorrow for the shoplifting thing.

im fucked up.

:jan 19th:

todays my dads bday,

intake pathetic.

worked out for an hour today.

and appearently sex burns like 729 cals or st.

so i did that last night.

times two.

im a whore.

im such a wreck,.

i dont know which way is up or which way is down anymore.

guys are playing with my head,

my weight is fluctuating, problems at work.

bleh.

today is my one yr anniversary of not cutting myself.

yay me.

picturesss.<5

my bad habit

i needed to ash.

then just me,

im infatuated with my eyes

my eyes look like storm's fromx-men in this pic. sorta.

this is my fav.

peace out girl scout.

CW: 170.2

Sun, 13 Jan 2008 21:49:43 GMT

so in case you didnt know i ballooned over the holidays to a whopping 188.4 pounds.

its disgusting.

but since december ive lost 18.2 so im not doing too shabby i supposed but hell i miss my weight before i was in the hospital last year, 135.

im getting below that.

i got a membership to the YMCA so ive been working out like on a regular 3-4 days a week basis.

intake was horrible im not even going to post it.

but i did have a 9 hour shift today at work so i guess, i dunno, i need to stop making excuses.

coffee and cigg diet tomorrow i suppose?

sounds good to me.

well i thank you for your support.

peace &&& love

if my face is a portrait of whats inside, you best break the damn mirror...

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 23:40:41 GMT

intake

b- hot cocoa

l-orange

d- taco casserole

s- trail mix

id suppose 800 cals.

but see i have a stomach ulcer appearently and all my dinner went into the toilet.

so id say minus 300

then i went to the YMCA and did an hour water aerobics class

minus at least 200

i also swam 100 yds

minus about 100

then i did my regular workout routine, this ab machine, this step machine, this tricep machine, this innerthigh/hip machine, this hamstring/butt machine, and the sauna, about 2 hours worth all together.

at least minus 450.

so all together,

-250 cals.

hell . thats lame. im fasting tomorrow, besides i have to work 4:30- 10:30 so only liquids and cigarettes.

i got my fone back today. and might be getting my car back next week.

incase i forgot to mention i got grounded from everything because i was arrested last friday at walmart for shoplifting.

its gay but i got to go to juvenile court.

then who knows what will happen.

bleh.

lifes a bitch.

2008

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 02:48:32 GMT

woohoo

im grounded for like forever because i got arrested for shoplifting and i have to go to juvenile court.

i got my nose pierced.

um, i passed all my classes.

im also grounded from the scale so idk how much i weigh.

i miss my support from you guys.

guess i kind of lost track.

stay strong.

This time Last year

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 01:37:21 GMT

I was in the hospital. Supposed to be dead. Being forced to gain 50 lbs.

Fucked up.

A cutter.

Suicidal.

Atheist.

DrugWHORE.

Now all i do is work, work, work, and work.

i have no time for myself.

and its tiring.

i need ana back.

i want my old friends.

i want my mom.

i miss you guys.

i miss my support, my old weight, my old habits.

well im sucking at ana right now, but heres some recent pix.

i cutt all my hair off.

SS&&TC;;

EXHAUSTEDFUCKINGAA.

Fri, 10 Aug 2007 23:26:31 GMT

School started Thursday, forced to end my fast Wednesday.

I have In School Suspension Monday/Tuesday because I was caught smoking.

It's really fucked up.

I have four academics this semester.

1st- Advanced Composition

2nd- Latin 2

3rd- Honours Trigonometry

4th- Honours Chemistry

I am working 27 fucking hours this week.

Saturday-3-10

Sunday- 4:30-10:30

Monday-4-8

Tuesday-off

Wednesday-5-10

Thursday-off

Friday-5-10 && first paycheck.

So, basically, I'm stressing.

But on the brightside, I can find like no time to eat.

Day 2

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 21:46:17 GMT

intake- nothing

exercise- working 1-8.

so i was right, im bloated. i started my period today so hopefully ill lose some.

i guess that really is all for today.

Started Fast

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 21:11:03 GMT

Day 1

intake- nothing

exercise- working

im so tired.

and i work tomorrow, 1-8 again.

bleh.

but hey, its easy money.

STAYSTRONG.

im tired

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 20:18:34 GMT

of being fat.

bleh.

b- nothing(0)

l- vegan sub(230)

d-veggie fajita (200-300?)

s- none.

total- between 430-530

exercise- tubing/swimming(3 hours)

going to lunch with my friend morgan tomorrow before work, then working 1-4:30 or 5:30. it sucks.

i do believe i might start a fast monday at 12:00 AM since eating will be outta the question while im working.

Work

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 21:14:26 GMT

Starts Tomorrow.

9-2

sun- 1-430

mon-1-8

tues-1-8

so monday and tuesday will probably end up as fast days:)

exercise for today- SixFlags w00t