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| Por todos nuestros muertos, ni un minuto de silencio. Toda una vida de lucha.I don't have enough time or energy to commit to activism seriously anymore, and that makes me sad. I think of all the people I've lost and I wish I was doing more. But everything I have is consumed with trying to keep my family together.
I feel like such a bad anarchist. | | |
| I'm happy.That is all.
Our bills are paid (on time!), there's food on the table (thanks
completely to Jax delivering fresh produce every week), Chris is ack in
school and doing well, we're slowly eating into the massive amounts of
medical debt that two rounds with cancer have left us with, everyone is
healthy and happy.
Good, yes?
And I've weirdly started cultivating a friendship with the guy who has
my brother's heart. Some people think that that is morbid. Or just
weird. But he is pretty cool. He says he wasn't half so cool before he
had Ethan's heart.
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| ¿Qué? un actualiza?¡De veras! Estoy actualizando.
So there is now a "do not call" list for the dead. Honestly.
Which makes me happy. After our parents died, we still kept getting so
many calls for them. And I still once in a while get people calling for
Gavin (no mail for
him, though, we've moved far too many times for that. But thanks to
telephone number portability, we still get calls for him!), so it will
be nice to stop that. It used to make me really, really sad when people
would call for him. Now I just laugh, a little.
The thing I really need to say here is something I should have
said long ago. But I was scared that if I put it here concretely that
would somehow jinx it and I'd realize it was all wrong.
But Chris is in remission. I hope it lasts. He'll still have to go for
regular checkups and testing for - well, ever, I suppose, because with
his type of tumor there s a high rate of reoccurance. But he's doing
well, now. For now, it's gone. He's back in school - only taking a few
classes, taking things kind of slow, but he's happy to be back.
Hopefully, eventually, I can go back to school too. One day.
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| Chris is back in the hospital. seizures started again. doing a little
better today than he was yesterday. i'm starting to allow myself to be
hopeful
working and spending every free minute in the hospital. dex
says that if i want to take off work (which i do, of course i do, i
want to be with my brother every minute of every day) he'll pay me for
the hours i'm missing so my family can still eat. i hate taking money
from him but my brother is dying, so...
jax and dex and sz
have been total angels(anjuls?) throughout. i don't think skyzombie's
left the hospital this whole time. he makes chris laugh, which makes
life seem halfway normal again. he used to always be laughing and thats
growing rarer these days.
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| Un segundo más de vida para darte...
Para Shymmer
25 diciembre 1984
11 febrero 2005
Si tenemos fe en Nuestro Señor, no debemos temer la muerte.
Descánsate bien, mi angelito. | | |
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