DianaakaD's Xanga

If you could only be remembered with one word, what word would it be?

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 14:29:38 GMT

"OX" from the Chinese Astrology.

It describes who I am from top to bottom. Its pretty awesome really....

But if it was more of what kind of things I offered in life and in my sentiments exactly...then the word would have to be...

Diana... those who know me would always know me as exactly what they knew, as the exact person they want to remember me as. I've had my bad days, and my good days...I don't regret a single thing...if someone hates me..then so be it...but I'm glad I got to show a little bit of everything. So if you have to remember me by a single word...let it be Diana. Because I wasn't just one person every day...my personalities vary from day to day and person to person. Mention Diana to several of my friends or people I knew...and they will all remember me by something different.

Muahz!

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In what ways are you similar to your mother?

Fri, 09 May 2008 17:16:41 GMT

Agh, LOL i love this question, even though I have answered in the past!!!

We have a lot in common. Sometimes a lot more than she would like to believe.

We're both very arrogant. Mainly because of our life accomplishments.

We're both greedy. Well moneywise. We want more of it, and we are willing to work for it.

We always want more. We never settle. Regardless of whatever the situation.

We hate being told what to do and how to do it. We believe we know ALL.

Not all of my personality comes from my mother.

My patience comes from my dad.

And my everlasting understanding and care for people.

The fact that I can stand for moments and realize how great life is...that I'm a daydreamer, that comes from my dad.

I love to read, so does my dad.

I wish I was more like him than anyone else, but sometimes I can't help myself.

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What are some things you appreciate your mother for?

Mon, 05 May 2008 13:13:34 GMT

She doesn't know it, but she has made me be 80% of who I am today. And even though we might clash heads, I love her for giving me the fighting, determined, hopeful, distinguished, independent, patient, strong personality I have.

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March 3-4

Mon, 05 May 2008 13:11:20 GMT

Spoke to Jose yesterday.

That went surprisingly well. He called while I was visiting Ricky. As soon as I got into town and took a shower I went to see Ricky. For some reason he has been persistent about me going to "visit" his new house.

Can't lie and say he did not try to seduce me……

I think I have become immune to men. Pretty sad when I think about it.

ANYWHO - yeah spoke to Jose some y nos saludamos.

Saw the movie 300 on Friday night. It's a must see...but you've probably already seen it.

This weekend was GRREEEATTT! I had so much fun, and I wish I could go into it detail by detail I don’t think I can but I’ll sure as hell try.

My uncle, “TIO MIGUEL” , I call him. I hadn’t seen him in 10 years. He came into town from North Carolina last Wednesday and my mom called me at work to ask me if I could get off early to try and see him, since he was just passing by and would be driving to dallas soon.

I of course was not able to leave early but I did get a chance to talk to him from work on the phone. As soon as I did I blew up in tears. TIO MIGUEL has always been my favorite uncle. I do remember him being the one who spent the most time at our house when I was a kid. He was always funny and would make me laugh, he was always a fun uncle.

The reason I cried however, I didn’t think it was because I missed him so much. I think it was because when I did talk to him, it brought memories of old times past. And these memories happened to be of when I was a kid, only 10 or 12 and my parents were still married. When my sister and I would run around outside our house and play barbies. When my sister and I would fight because she got to something I didn’t, or vice versa. Those memories are so precious to me, because it’s all I have left from a TRUE family environment. And I miss them.

And so I was sad to know that my uncle would not be able to stay until I came home. I got off of work at 5pm and headed home, knowing that my uncle had left already. And so as I pull right on the corner of my street and drive down I see a strange car on my driveway. Instantly I knew this was him, and started crying yet again. I couldn’t believe he had waited.

Friday came and we all jumped in the car and headed for Dallas. The four-hour drive didn’t seem shorter than that, but it was entertaining. He and my mom talked about their childhood and we laughed the whole way there. SERIOUSLY, the whole way there.

Have you ever sat with the family and listened to stories from the “old days” when you were not around? I sat there and tried to imagine all my aunts and uncles when there were kids, imagining what they were talking about. Their childhood seemed to be so innocent and fun.

My mom was the youngest and my “TIO MIGUEL” was the one of the older brothers who would watch over my sister and the other girls, ran off their boyfriends and stuff.. LOL I thought it was pretty cute, and I wondered, had I had an older brother would he have done the same.

After a long drive we picked up his son in Plano, TX, from there we drove to Fort Worth, TX. My other Aunt, Audelia, was there with her sons. In total cousins from 3 brothers and sisters it was me, Diana, Quinlen, Miguel, and Leonel. This of course was not all of us, and it is DEFINITELY odd that more than 2 brothers and sisters would be in the same room. It has been YEARS since I had been a part of something like that. And it felt good to sit there and listen to the “good ol days”.

We ended up staying through Sunday, we only expected to go Saturday and drive back the same day.

The whole trip was very well enjoyed. I am sure that we all had a great time. We didn’t do much, or go out to nice places, spend a lot of money. But we had all meals together, and we spent time and talked and caught up on each other’s life.

Made me realize, it has been a long time since we all got together as a family. And so they are all invited for Thanksgiving.

And my grandparents, and my uncles in California, I gave them enough months notice.

What would be a legitimate reason to break up with your significant other?

Fri, 02 May 2008 13:07:57 GMT

1. "falling" out of love? - nah I would stay with him IF he had lots of money. Other than that yes, I'd leave him if I didn't love him. If i stayed, I would be CAREFULLY UNFAITHFUL. ha ha!!

2. "unfaithfulness" - well I think I would be unfaithful back without leaving him. If of course, after being unfaithful he still wanted to be with me. oh unless he slept with like my best friend or family member... I WOULD LEAVE HIM, THEN MAKE HIS LIFE A LIVING HELL!!

Other than that - I don't think there's anything else I can thing of. WAIT....

3. "he goes to jail" - for a long long time of course. Yes I would have to, NO i can't wait. look me up when you get out. who knows how long it will take for me to get married.

What was that you say? - Pity the man who ends up with me???

BWAH HA HA. MUAHZ!!!

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Those Days...

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 17:24:53 GMT

Feeling very depressed right now.

Just go threw talking with my Uncle, Miguel. It has been awhile since I last saw him, and I must say it’s probably been close to 10 years if not more.

It’s too bad that he’s at home right now, but I’m at work. And he happens to be just passing through and I cannot leave early to meet with him and see him.

It almost seems taboo…to know that someone is so close by, and you are steps from seeing them, but can’t. Imagine how many of those people you would like to see are in the same situation, and you don’t even know it.

My uncle, this uncle, was always around when I was a kid, and I remember spending time together as a family when I was younger. Speaking with him brings a lot of memories to mind.

From when I was a kid, and my family was whole, and no worries seemed to captivate me.

Now my family is separated, my dad travels constantly, my sister and nieces and nephew are in Atlanta. I live at home with my mom and brother. But it’s depressing because it almost seems as if when I was a kid, family was always at an arm’s reach. And children were always around to play with. But now everyone has grown up and everyone has gone their own way, followed their own path.

And it sucks because I miss those days. It just really sucks!! Because I miss those days….

I really miss those days…

What is the weirdest food combination that you enjoy?

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 15:53:57 GMT

Pineapple bits with Cottage Cheese...that is some good shit right theeerrrr!!

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If you placed an ad in the personals, what would it read?

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 13:08:28 GMT

Hmm, would I have to put the bad and the good?

Well can we start with the bad, at least that way it’ll be like they were warned?

Considered yourself WARNED:

I like to get things done right the first time. (don’t get too excited, this is the bad stuff, remember?) Yeah I like to get things done right the first time. So this sometimes means that I don’t trust anyone else to do them. Even if I have a lot on my plate, I have to be involved in everything that in one way or another affects my life, whether it be on a daily basis or long term. I must take a part of it, I must know it gets done right.
I can be very arrogant, yeah I would not say CONCEDED, but arrogant. Why am I high and mighty? Well I am always proud of myself, regardless of my sorroundings. Consider myself a smart person. Don’t mean to think that others are dumb, except just believe I can be as smart as anyone else – if I apply myself. So don’t look down on me, I can be as good as you.
I can be greedy. With money I guess. But I don’t look to take it away from other people. And I’m not the kind of person that believes, love is everything. BULLSHIT!! Yeah no, I will not fall in love and live under a bridge. I know it can be hard for both love and money to come at the same time. But I would rather take my chances with money and no love than to have love with no money. So does this make me greedy?
#3’s question brings upon another one of my flaws. I am not greedy, I don’t think at least. I like to have goals in my life and constantly accomplish them and pursue my next goals. So how is this a bad thing you say? Well I NEVER SETTLE for what I have. And I always want more. If I have finally found a job that pays me more, well why not go to school and find a job that pays me even more? With time of course. And if I got an apartment, why not get a house. And if I can afford a $100,000 (not that I can right now), well why not get a $300,000 house? Hopefully I will end up with a guy who thinks the same. I don’t think it’s greed. I think it a matter of not settling.
I am a CEMENT WALL AT THE FRONT, AND A CRYBABY IN THE BACK. Yeap when I first meet someone I can come off as a bitch who thinks nothing can break her (kind of like this posting). But it takes awhile for me to realize anyone can break me. If of course they can penetrate through my brick wall.

Enough of the BAD, now some GOOD.

Ha ha, I don’t know where to start……AHA!!

I am a hard worker. Now doesn’t this make up for some of #3 and #4?? Yes I am a hard worker who knows that when it comes to life, I gotta get out and grab it by the horns. Nothing has ever been given to me on a silver platter. If I am where I am, it’s because I have put myself there. I admire people like this, and detest girls who have no idea what it is to have a job, and yet somehow they have a 2008 vehicle, and carrying a Louis Vouton (did I even spell that right??). I detest EVEN MORE, the guys that end up with those girls…because they have no idea the kinds of girls that are out there, that are truly looking to make a difference and support their man.
I am adventourous…I open to new things and ideas. So I do pretty much everything. If you like hunting, ill do it with you. If you like horseback riding, I’ll do it with you. If you want to go camping out in the woods, take me too! If you like to surf, I’d love to learn. I love to read, travel, long drives, random visits to the beach, cooking outdoors. I PROMISE I will try anything at least once. If I like it, then you better not stop doing it.
I love endlessly. If there ever has been a person that I TRULY and HONESTLY gave my heart and soul to, whether it be a friend or partner, they will always be with me forever in my heart. When I truly want to be, I am caring and compassionate. Understanding to those in need, I help others with no regrets. I do not carry my heart on my sleeve, so you have to earn my trust and compassion. I do not pass this out like glasses of water, and those people that really get under my skin come into my life like a three leaf clover would come to anyone. But when they do, they always know of my love for them.
I aspire to be independent. I do not look for a man to take care of me and give me a big house, and work hard so that I can stay home and shop at my convenience. I look for someone who will share my dreams. Who wants that big house, with the big back yard, and maybe even another piece of land somewhere else. Where we can take our kids horseback riding or trail riding. However, I want to enjoy our youth, plan on having kids a while from now. Like in our late 20’s. Early 30’s? But most of all I want him to know that I will be there to financially be a part of it all. Prenup?? SHIT I will make YOU sign.
Another good thing…lol I write stupid stuff like this.

Not that this isn’t all true, but can you tell I was bored??

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Who are the top five people that inspire you and why?

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:10:21 GMT

Top Five...well first I have to list them, then I can say why.

By the way these are in no specific order...in case you think that "#1" inspires me the most...nah they all inspire me quite the same.

#1. My mother

#2. My father

#3. My Sister

#4. Brenda Zumaya

#5. Palomo (before he passed)

#1. My mother…hmm…she lives in a world of her own. But apparently its okay, because everyone knows here there. I love her, yes I do, sometimes I wonder if it’s because she’s my mother…or because I just do. How can you not love your mother?? Nah you can’t. I think there is this thing…in the breastmilk you know…that forever ties your soul to theirs. J Her strength (sometimes) does inspire me. To be the same I guess. We’re those kind of girls…that show strength on the outside, but on the inside we’re breaking apart. The fact that she’s a single mother making it with or without the help of others inspires me to do the same. Well not be a single mother, but to survive with or without someone else’s help. Too many of her characteristics fall well into my personality, this I cannot deny. But I only hope that my friends don’t notice, even though I know they do.

#2. My father. I LOVE HIM TO DEATH. He is the wind beneath my wings. And when I needed a parent’s shoulder to cry on – you best believe it was my dad’s. He is truly genuine. A list of his characteristics that inspire me: His patience, his honest love, his diligence, his love for life, his humbleness, his paternal instinct to keep me away from bad men, his openness towards new things and opinions. But most of all, his understanding. If I had him around me everyday I would be far more like him. But since I don’t, I have to quickly remind myself everyday that I wish I were more like my father. In that he takes life as it comes, and knows that everything happens for a reason. He knows that if he wakes up to a most god-awful day, tomorrow can be better if we look forward to it. He knows he may be passing through a storm today, but tomorrow he will walk through a meadow. His positive outlook on things reminds me that things are not always as they seem.

#3 My sister. Can we all take a bow for her continuously ridden over soul? This woman will not stand down!! This woman whose committed fault after fault and yet…she regrets NOTHING. Don’t mess with her…cuz she won’t kick your ass. She’ll turn around and walk away – leaving you talking to the thin air….IN YO’ FACE BOY!!! Muahz!! I love her.

#4 Brenda Zumaya. THAT BITCH. Lol, ha no. We all have been through some crazy ass shit in life. I only hope that one day I can be as solid as her. Who once quoted to me “it takes twice as much effort to get back up after you’ve fallen and cried, than after you’ve fallen.” Ladies & Gents, this is as true as it gets. This woman, I’ve known her for almost a freakin decade. How many times have I seen her cry, about 3 or 4 times. I’ve lost count to the many times that she has seen me cry. Point is…she is as strong as any woman can come. Don’t fuck with her…there’s no point in wasting your time. After all, she’s probably better than the simple 4 or 5 minutes she would take to put you down verbally – or physically.

#5. Palomo (before he passed). Ever taken a look at your pet. Whether it be a cat or dog…and wished that your life was as peaceful as theirs. No worries, everything is a game, and every time you see your “master/owner” coming home from work you wag your tail? What inspired me about him? His innocence. I cried when he died. As sweet as he was…lickin my ankles as I walked in the door…he did not deserve to be hit by a car. I only wish that I showed to him how much I cared….by letting him sleep on my bed and in between my feet every night, or under my arm with his head on my upper arm.

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What does it take for someone to earn your trust?

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 12:14:07 GMT

HA HA HA....good question. Damn, I think the only people that I have trust in today is the people that I have known for at least 6 or more years. This mean people that know me in and out, every aspect of my life.

It really does take A LOT to earn my trust, and honestly I have no idea why this is. I don't think anyone has ever hurt me enough for me to not want to meet new people. I love meeting new people. It just so happens that the minute they do something I don't like I steer away.

What does it take? Time and effort, is a must. Show me that you care, that you're going to be around for a long time, man or woman.

Then again trust is such a BIG yet understated word.

Really - think about it, how many people do YOU trust. I bet I can answer that....for the most part, your family. And in most cases...one or two friends...that have been there for you through thick and thin.

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