Hey all my ladies who are kind enough to still come here, or new people stumbling upon my site. My computer had been broken for a while, therefore I didn't update. But now I am back with a new computer and a new xanga(I wanted to start fresh.) So please come to LegallyBlondeAna, which, may I say, is a much cuter xanga! Haha.

Later loves!

Hey Dolls! Thanks so much to everyone who has been commenting and subscribing. . .I feel so awful for not commenting back to everyone of you, but my computer…*sigh*….I think I’ve told the story of my fucked up computer a million times before hahaha.

Today was great though. It’s the third day that I’ve gone consuming ABSOLUTELY NO calories; and no negative cal foods either! Tomorrow I start eating again – 200 cals only a day tho! After school I went and got 5 inches chopped off of my hair!!!! I have brown, really fine, stick straight hair that USED to go down to like, about 2 inches above my butt. Crazzzzzy. I thought that it looked way too ratty though, even though I don’t really have any split ends or hair like those nasty white-trash girls that you see. I just don’t like having layers because my hair is fine, so I wanted to get all the layers cut off. I’m ALWAYS paranoid of looking trashy, so I’m really happy now because my hair looks super healthy, and I feel like it was me getting a new look as a reward for losing weight. After that my Mom and I blew about $200 at Old Navy and then Payless. I am a shoe addict! I got these super cute khaki, pink, and silver sneakers, some ADORABLE rainbow wedges, white sequined sandals with a tiny bit of kitten heel, and some bohemian looking flats that are pink and orange and sequined. I also got a fabulous yellow slouchy handbag and some hot pink terry cloth lounge pants(they’re hot not gross lol). I don’t know if it’s just me. . .but shopping and looking in the dressing room mirrors and all that is just SUCH thinspiration!!! And now I have the CUTEST outfit for tomorrow! Yipee! BUTTT I didn’t work out today. AT ALL. Only like, 10 minutes of walking to and from my bust stop lol. But I usually go right after school – which I couldn’t do today – I didn’t have ANY caffeine today, and I was already feeling faint yesterday. So it’s probably for the best. I might do some crunches later on. Oh and things are great with the crush, and I think that it’s definetely developing. . .

Skinny Bitch Challenge Points:

Calories: 0 – 5 pts

Water: 13 cups – 5 pts

+ Vitamins: 1 pt

Excersise: 2 pts for walking…..ick Not working out is gonna kill my points for today. .

Support/Motivation: 2 pts for updating and commenting

Total: 15 pts

Hello lovelies!! Today is the second day of The Skinny Bitch Challenge AND my fast. . .and may I just say that I believe it went just as fabulously as yesterday! Tomorrow will be the last day of my fast, and then I will be going on the 200 cal-a-day, no fat, no carb, pure protein diet that was in my previous entry down below! And as far as the crushes go…..I got to talk with him for, like, an hour on the bus today and we laughed a lot as usual….but I dunno. I feel like I still fucked up somehow(I always get that feeling with guys). Por ejemplo, in the last period of my day the issue of lesbian sex came up so I was talking about it with him and some other guy. . .and somehow it led to them asking me if I was a virgin, and “how many guys have you had sex with?” blah blah blah. I am EXTREMELY insecure when it comes to this topic: being that I am about to turn 16 years old and I have never kissed a guy or had a boyfriend. And this is not due to the fact that I am uber-picky or really chaste or anything, but I go to this nerdy IB school where the girl/guy ratio is 3/1 and most of the guys are just….not the dating and partying and hooking-up type. To make a long story short, I(trying to be non-chalant about this whole issue, while at the same time HATING the embarassing subject) was EXTREMELY vague, yet made remarks about how the word “whore” is used too freely and that sex shouldn’t be so taboo. I do believe all that, and I am a very liberal person when it comes to sexual stuff, but that doesn’t mean I’ve had sex. AT ALL. To make a long story short – they assumed that I have had sex, most likely with multiple guys, and wouldn’t listen to me when I tried to tell them that it was FAR from true. AFTER ALL OF THAT my crush tells me, in the cutest way possible, that he has never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl. I AM SO MAD AT MYSELF!! WHY CAN’T I JUST BE HONEST LIKE HIM?? UGH I’M SUCH AN ASS……But anyhow, I DO tend to over-analyze, so hopefully he didn’t think much of it. HOPEFULLY.

SKINNY BITCH CHALLENGE POINTS:

Calories: 0 – 5 pts

Water: 10 cups – 5 pts

Vitamins: 1 pt

Excersise: 800 cals burned doing 60 min on elliptical – 6 pts

Support/motivation: 2 pts for updating and commenting

TOTAL: 19 PTS

Hello all my babydolls! Today has been delightful – it’s the first day of The Skinny Bitch Challenge! Things are also going fabulously with my new crush. No new developments, but I’m on that type of high you have when you get to spend lots of time with your crush and ya’ll just click really well, yah know? Don’t get me wrong though, I’m still pissed as hell at my family, but I’ve learned how to block that out and focus on more positive things! And let me just say….a life lived with the constant influence of caffeine is a wonderful life indeed J I can’t stress enough how much the two little Diet Dr.Peppers I had today not only kept me full, energized me and helped me to work hard at the gym!! I still wish I had better acess to Red Bull though….but it’s alll good!

Points Accumulated Today for The Skinny Bitch Challenge:

Cals: 0 = 5 pts

Water: 13 cups(8 oz each) = 5 pts

+ 1 pt for taking my vitamins

Excersise:

Cardio: 800 cals burned while doing 60 min on elliptical = 6 pts

Crunches: 50 = ½ pt

Support/Motivation: 1 pt for updating my journal

Total: 18.5 pts

Ohhh ladies. This weekend has not been good. I did not stick to my plan. I ALREADY LEARNED NOT TO TRY AND START A FAST ON THE WEEKEND LAST WEEKEND! Argh! why can't I learn?? Anyhow, I joined the Skinny Bitch Challenge, although unofficially because I'm a lil late. But ohhh well it will still completely motivate me. and I like the points thing. I'm pepped up now! I'm ready and motivated!!! And this will sound really sad, but I am mostly motivated because a) After starting to crush on a new guy I bumped into this lesbian girl that I think might like me and now I'm starting to question if I like HER and maybe I'm bisexual. .. (she's hot as fuck).....and weird dilmmas like these kill my appetite b) having the crush on the new guy alone makes me not want to eat when I know I have to look hot for him c) I'm having family issues again....not good, except for the fact that I tend to not eat just to spite people, and that almost always happens when I'm having family issues.

*sigh* Only a screwed up girl with an ED would look at the fact that she's questioning her sexuality and having family probs in an optimistic way because it may prevent her from eating. . . .hah....that's sad but you gotta laugh at it, too