Wish I had a better title...Guess thats not gonna happen today. Well recently Ive had too many things toworry about. But I do have to say that they became a bit less since I moved all the way out to vacaville. ITs ice. Its quiet.. people here mind there own business. And since they do..I can live my life. yay? I mena I do enjoy social interactions, but seriously. Ive only met two people I actualyl enjoy hanging out with since Ive been here. Grant and luara. ( Luara is the shit! lol needed to put that) Well And their daughter. Emma. Shes so darn cute... my place was more child proof Id steal there kid. lol jkjk..but... they keep trying to convince me to take her home with me...::shrug:: who knows. Other news if anyone reads this.  Jake proposed to me.  Yes.. thats witha  big shiney ring....And Ive been sitting here thinking about it. Wth all the things that happend. What he trying to say.  ANd alot of people think Im doing this blindly. yeah I can see why.. Im only 21. Alot of people have come up and told me that im an idiot for even saying yes. I see all there reasons. And all I start to do is feel bad. cause seriosuly. Im tired of getting shit like that from people. Ive stood up formyself but for some reason THEY are REALLY agianst it. And its like yes, I have an alone issue. well not as much of an alone issue. As much as Id like to leave a legacy instead of just dieing alone. For all the guys who say they love me or tell me that they never had the chance Im sure if I called all this off.  Theyd vanish! Simple as that. And being with someone isnt of my main concern but if they are all getting butt hurt about jake proposing( mind you I havent planed shit and its been a while, so im in no rush) the only  person that really makes.. or stands up above the rest. Shawn. And thats because of a lot of things. I cant be with him. theres just.. as much as that be great..the future i see..  I have no idea where its going.. I see noplans than where hes at right now. And yeah maybe thats what everyone else is tryign to tell me. I dont need to worry abotu making a future. HAving a house and car and ... lets throw kids in for that classic picture look.  But its like. THen when am i going to do that? When am i going to actually going to stop renting.. have a house.. have friends over when ever, people over to party and not act like .. MORONS. Just somethign easy...less dramatic.. just make it a reality. like i have to be rich one day to ahve everythign i want. No.. not really.. just for the more expensive things on my list, but in the end..  I really just kinda want peopel to not be so mean abotu the whole engagement thing. Jake is a really great person...(acts like a blonde sometimes and thats amazing.. cause he walks around without a brain everyonce ina while. makes for interesting entertainment) The only thing thats getting to me is.. Who else watns to stop this? And are they doing it cause they care abotu me or because of there own selfish reasoning.

that was a lot of writing. Hope someoen could get it. -.-;;