| | The Sunday Donkey Times - 5/4/2008 Associate Editor: Tude
NYPD Horse Takes Off Early May 3, 2008
NEW YORK — Police say a patrol horse found his own way back through Manhattan streets to his stable after throwing his rider.
The officer was treated for minor injuries after traffic noise spooked Aldo on Friday. The 8-year-old took off about eight blocks to the stable.
New York police spokesman Paul Browne says the horse "knows his turf."
Officer Martin Brown says Aldo suffered a few small cuts. The 21-year police veteran riding him had some injuries to his neck and shoulder.
Aldo has been a police horse for about a year.
For the original story, go here.
It's the Hippopotahouse Thursday, May 1, 2008
It's bad enough trying to house train a dog or a cat, so imagine clearing up after a hippo.
Jessica the abandoned hippopotamus is now so much part of Shirley and Tonie Joubert's family that she regularly wanders around their home, eats at their table and even drinks a pint of two of tea.
But, not everyone is happy as she has also been helping herself to their neighbour's crops and the farmer has threatened to shoot her.
The Jouberts have raised Jessica since she was found, barely a day old, on a river bank in Hoedspruit, Limpopo, South Africa, in March 2000.
Neighbour Sybrand van Vuuren said while he 'would not like to shoot Jessica', it would be hard to tell her apart from other hippos.
For the original story, go here.
 If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
Dear Miss Smarty Pants,
Donkey says he amputated spazzs tail but she keeps bouncing on it anyhow.
How does this keep happening??? Did Donkey just make it up so spazzz
wouldn't hurt him?
Tude
Dear Tude,
I have photographic evidence that the tail in question was seen springing
around a local mall today. Look at it, all by it self (with a bit of rump
still attached) bouncing up a tree!  It looks like it might be confused. I'm pretty sure tails don't see
all that well. Miss Smarty Pants
Dear Miss Smarty Pants,
I heard from a friend that since we are constantly texting that we are now textually active.... is this safe? Do I require some sort of protection? Is it safe to have multiple text partners?
Textomaniac
Dear Textomaniac,
I am shocked and dismayed that your mother did not teach you these things when you were younger! However, as with most technology, the younger generation is more adept. I consulted with an avid textually active friend to verify this information. Most teenagers these days are fully aware of the repercussions of being textually active. Your friend was correct, constantly texting does make you textually active. Have no fear! For the most part, being textually active, even with multiple text partners, is safe and in most cases can even be a good thing, as long as it doesn't interfere with your day to day social life. My only concern for you is that you give your hands a good rest after a full day of texting. You wouldn't want to wear your hands out with all that texting.
Miss Smarty Pants
Tude is this week's winner!
(For getting her gall bladder out and needing a cork to plug the hole!)
Gift shopping? Go here!
 | Well, that's the way it was!
Your Donkey on the Beat, signing off until next week!
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 | Dead Turkey Jokes of the Day
"All generalizations are false."
"Time is what keeps everything from happening at once."
Seen on an old, beat-up car: "This is not an abandoned vehicle."
"Work is for people who don't know how to fish"
"Montana --- At least our cows are sane!"
"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."
"Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep"
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| | Posted 5/4/2008 8:10 AM - 48 comments
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