The Impoverished Ministry of JesusI am not usually one to write about "serious" topics on my blog, but there is something that the Lord has been dealing with me lately & I just wanted to share it with ya'll. (This is quite lengthy, so I won’t be offended if you choose not to read it.) J Over the past years the Lord has given me a desire to serve Him internationally & at Passion (last month) that desire was renewed. I decided it was time to do something about that desire so I applied to be a leader for a month-long mission trip to the Amazon Jungle in Peru. The application process was HUGE! It took me about 4 hours to fill out the written application which had questions varying from my family life, Christian service, my spiritual outlook on life, etc. I also needed 4 references & had two phone interviews. The whole process took almost a month to finish. Throughout this time one would think that I would’ve saturated this opportunity in prayer, but, sadly, I sort-of put this on the back-burner. Why? I really don’t know. Wait. Yes, I DO know why I didn’t bring this to the Lord every single day—I was going to make this decision based on my own logic (make a list of reasons I should & shouldn’t go, figure out my finances for when I get home, etc). There was my problem. So many of my “big” decisions in life I haven’t been taking to the Lord. I always seem to justify this reasoning by saying that the Lord has given us logic and a brain and He wants us to use them, right? Well, I made my list & right away I set myself up for NOT going. The reasons NOT to go seemed to massively overshadow the reasons TO go. Then it began: I started mulling over and focusing on the logical reasons I should stay in the States the entire summer. (I could write out my whole list, but for time’s sake I’ll just say that the reasons to NOT go ARE really good!) Because of this list, I stopped praying about it—even though I was in the process of interviewing. I started composing my letter to the mission group (to let them know of my decision) AND mentioning my reasons to family & some close friends. Everyone seemed to agree with the decision I made (not to go) but I knew that I still hadn’t really given this opportunity over to God. I would go to bed every night just KNOWING that I needed some real one-on-one time with God about this decision, but once again I would push it aside (& read a Christian book). :{ Last week I received (via email) my acceptance/welcome letter to the missions group & all the necessary info. to begin raising support, gathering supplies, etc. It was then that I realized I had taken this too far. I HAD to talk to God about this situation! Today I put my Christian book aside, went to the Word and asked the Lord to forgive me for not giving this over to Him & to show me what to do. I read today’s “My Utmost For His Highest” scripture of John 4 then read the following commentary on it: “The well is deep”—and even a great deal deeper than the Samaritan woman knew! (4:11). Think of the depths of human nature & human life; think of the depths of the ‘wells’ in you. Have you been limiting, or impoverishing, the ministry of Jesus to the point that He is unable to work in your life? Suppose that you have a deep ‘well’ of hurt & trouble inside your heart, & Jesus comes & says to you, “Let not your heart be troubled…” (John 14:1). Would your response be to shrug your shoulders & say, “But, Lord, the well is too deep, and even You can’t draw up quietness & comfort out of it.” Actually, that is correct. Jesus doesn’t bring anything up from the wells of human nature—He brings them down from above. We limit the Holy One of Israel by remembering only what we have allowed Him to do for us in the past, & also by saying, “Of course, I cannot expect God to do this particular thing.” The thing that approaches the very limits of His power is the very thing we as disciples of Jesus ought to believe He will do. We impoverish & weaken His ministry in us the moment we forget He is almighty. The impoverishment is in us, not in Him. We will come to Jesus for Him to be our comforter or our sympathizer, but we refrain from approaching Him as our Almighty God. The reason some of us are such poor examples of Christianity is that we have failed to recognize that Christ is almighty. We have Christian attributes & experiences, but there is no abandonment or surrender to Jesus Christ. When we get into difficult circumstances, we impoverish His ministry by saying, “Of course, He can’t do anything about this.” We struggle to reach the bottom of our own well, trying to get water for ourselves. Beware of sitting back, and saying, “It can’t be done.” You will know it can be done if you will look to Jesus. The well of your incompleteness runs deep, but make the effort to look away from yourself & to look toward Him. (end) I have decided to THOROUGHLY pray every day for one week about going to Peru. I already feel like the Lord is telling me TO go and to trust Him about finances & other “stuff,” but I want to know for certain that it is HIS decision and not mine. So, there you go. If you are still reading this blog then WOW! thank you! I would appreciate your prayers during this next week…prayers that I will understand what God wants me to do. | 
